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Advice on rejecting men....

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  • AdmiralX
    AdmiralX Posts: 330 Forumite
    Errata wrote: »
    oh well, I suppose the day you get real raped you won't be much troubled by it, will you?

    This is rather irrelevant.

    It does appear you are not much troubled about money problems - but everybody here in London is indeed worried about the rises in fares on public transport. If you do not have a normal money problem then you are just fine and can use a taxi instead of public transport and probably you will eliminate possibility of assault.

    Public transport is not the usual place for attackers and rapists.
    "I'll be back."
  • lostinrates
    lostinrates Posts: 55,283 Forumite
    I've been Money Tipped!
    AdmiralX wrote: »
    This is rather irrelevant.

    It does appear you are not much troubled about money problems - but everybody here in London is indeed worried about the rises in fares on public transport. If you do not have a normal money problem then you are just fine and can use a taxi instead of public transport and probably you will eliminate possibility of assault.

    Public transport is not the usual place for attackers and rapists.


    Imagine what its like to be both troubled by money and fearful of sexual attack.

    The two are not mutually exclusive and while your first post on this subject was flippant enough not to offend me this repsonse to a fair objection at is, to me, pretty offensive.
  • AdmiralX
    AdmiralX Posts: 330 Forumite
    Jinx wrote: »
    I have told her she does not have to be polite or nice to anyone who is making her uncomfortable

    Quite so, this is the best tactic: do not respond and go away because you never know if the person has a knife with him or if there is a gang with him. We do have this problem in public transport: knives and gangs appearing from nowhere. You never know who or how many bad people stand next to you. You are among people who you do not know.
    "I'll be back."
  • Jinx
    Jinx Posts: 1,766 Forumite
    Debt-free and Proud!
    Wow am gobsmacked by how much this thread has grown!!!! Thank you all for your input.

    Just to clarify the issues arises when she is on her own and dressed for work so covered in a long sleeved shirt and black trousers and flat black boots or shoes. For the person who commented she should cover her curves - I dont think she should have to and additionally, there are no hiding some curves lol

    I dont think she minds guys speaking to her when shes on nights out as shes with friends and even if showing a bit of flesh she feels safe and isnt travelling alone.

    To the person who asked she does have a lovely Scots accent, she might need a bit more Glaswegian for the comment you suggested LOL
    Light Bulb Moment - 11th Nov 2004 - Debt Free Day - 25th Mar 2011 :j
  • lynzpower
    lynzpower Posts: 25,311 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    My MEP was raising awareness and doing research on this: I was trying to find the link: Here it is if anyones interested.

    http://www.jennettearnold.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=9:sexual-harrasment-campaign&catid=4:hot-topics&Itemid=42
    :beer: Well aint funny how its the little things in life that mean the most? Not where you live, the car you drive or the price tag on your clothes.
    Theres no dollar sign on piece of mind
    This Ive come to know...
    So if you agree have a drink with me, raise your glasses for a toast :beer:
  • Person_one
    Person_one Posts: 28,884 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    onlyroz wrote: »
    I must be butt-ugly then, because I never felt unsafe while walking through London on my own.

    Its nothing to do with what you look like!

    I pretty much always feel safe walking around on my own too, I did when I lived in London and I do now I live in another inner city.

    Its not when you're alone that the problems occur, its when you're in crowded or enclosed places with strangers like tube trains and nightclubs!
  • Jinx wrote: »

    To the person who asked she does have a lovely Scots accent, she might need a bit more Glaswegian


    This accent is music to my ears.:)
    "I'll be back."
  • Humphrey10
    Humphrey10 Posts: 1,859 Forumite
    Wilma33 wrote: »
    Make sure she knows she doesn't have to answer people's questions honestly!
    Also, make sure she knows that she doesn't have to answer at all, or even acknowledge that she has been spoken to. People DO NOT talk to strangers on public transport, except in certain circumstances, and wanting sex is one of those circumstances...
  • Gavin83
    Gavin83 Posts: 8,757 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    BugglyB wrote: »
    Yes, there is, that being that men just do not suffer from the unwanted attention that women do. I'm not talking about people sitting down next to you and asking you out, and I doubt kittykarate was either. I'm not talking about someone saying 'nice day isn't it, could I take you for a coffee some time?' or complimenting you on the colour of your eyes.

    I actually find that quite insulting. I've had women unknown to me pinch my bum before, I really don't see how that is any less sexual abuse than in the reverse situation but it's almost seen as a joke if it's the other way round. The only difference I see is that it happens to women more often but don't think female to male unwanted attention doesn't happen.
  • AdmiralX wrote: »
    Quite so, this is the best tactic: do not respond and go away because you never know if the person has a knife with him or if there is a gang with him. We do have this problem in public transport: knives and gangs appearing from nowhere. You never know who or how many bad people stand next to you. You are among people who you do not know.

    Honestly, what effing planet are you on? I've lived and worked in London for over forty years and the only knife I've ever seen was in a butcher's shop. Sometimes, if you're expecting trouble you can often find it. For the most part I don't, even when travelling on the night-bus at 4am sometimes half-cut.

    You seem to be doing your level best to frighten a Mum sh!tless when her daughter is miles away on her own in the big city. You are not helping this discussion at all. In fact I think you are being very unkind. And appallingly inaccurate. It is not ruddy Beirut! It's a civilised city filled for the most part with civilised people.
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