Help please

victory

con1888 wrote: »

I will make the picture clearer, he owns the house, morgtage is £400 but I took that £400 away from his net figure. The agreement was always that he pays full morg as I have no hold over the house.

In my oppinion he isn't looking at things in the long term. The course I am doing is an HND in Education and Childcare and ideally want to go on and work as a childminder where I would be self employed and also if/when we had kids would be at home with them also but earning at the same time. After a few years I would ideally be on the mortgage so then would be paying half of that ( or if I earned more 60% or whatever).

It's just really stressful trying to work it all out but I really don't think its fair if he is paying 50% and has plenty disposable income left and can save and go on nights out, buy nice clothes etc when I will be skint, struggling even to pay for half the messages , travel to work and college, driving lessons things that are more of a need rather than a want. He doesn't see it that way which in my oppinion is selfish.

I know we all think in different ways but I really don't think the above way would be fair. We wouldn't be able to even go out together for a meal or that because I just wouldn't be able to afford it.

So you are together, living together, you see kids and family and marriage and a future together but he will not put you on his mortage now, why? Just incase?

Do you want him to fund you through your course?

*max*

You would have £750, with no rent/mortgage to pay. I think it's perfectly doable to pay half the household expenses out of that AND have extra for leisure, really.

You'd be paying out MUCH more than that living on your own!

con1888

victory wrote: »

So you are together, living together, you see kids and family and marriage and a future together but he will not put you on his mortage now, why? Just incase?

Do you want him to fund you through your course?

I don't think I can go on it tbh, I have bad credit. About 1k in debt but a few defaults so think it will be a year or two before I can go on it.

No I don't need funding for my course, I live in Scotland so course is funded. I am doing the course as it will be better in the long run and have me earning either equal but probably more money than he is.

con1888

*max* wrote: »

You would have £750, with no rent/mortgage to pay. I think it's perfectly doable to pay half the household expenses out of that AND have extra for leisure, really.

You'd be paying out MUCH more than that living on your own!

The last part it true but if he is being so selfish that he wants to see me go without rather than be more fair with the bills for less than 2 years ( course is 1 year 8 months) so that I can better myself and maximise my earnings potential then I don't really want to be with that type of person.

my outgoings atm are

£250 towards him for housey things
£48 phone bill - cant downgrade for another 12 months
£100 driving lessons
£200 loan repayments
£30 gym membership
£5 pet insurance
£90 travel to work

£723...

*max*

But you wouldn't be going without! Why would you? You have £750 for your half of the bills and personal spends, that is more than enough, unless you have an extravagant lifestyle compared to your earnings.

Edit: well, you would be paying for those things if you were on your own as well. With him, you are living rent free. I think it's not fair to expect him to fund your lifestyle or your debts just because you are a couple. It's not his fault you have debts, or a large phone bill, or are taking driving lessons.

victory

con1888 wrote: »

I don't think I can go on it tbh, I have bad credit. About 1k in debt but a few defaults so think it will be a year or two before I can go on it.

No I don't need funding for my course, I live in Scotland so course is funded. I am doing the course as it will be better in the long run and have me earning either equal but probably more money than he is.

So you are not.have not been on the mortgage for how long? How long has he had it?

con1888

*max* wrote: »

But you wouldn't be going without! Why would you? You have £750 for your half of the bills and personal spends, that is more than enough, unless you have an extravagant lifestyle compared to your earnings.

I edited my post, above are my outgoings. Wouldn't say they are particularly extravagant. I also go to football which would be 'extravagant' I guess but my season ticket is paid off at the moment so wont include that.

con1888

victory wrote: »

So you are not.have not been on the mortgage for how long? How long has he had it?

He bought house in January, he moved in around July I think, I moved in September.

victory

con1888 wrote: »

He bought house in January, he moved in around July I think, I moved in September.

That i not so bad then he does not have years of paying and you come along, seemed to be a seething underlining resentment coming from hi side maybe over protecting his assests but can't be that he has not had them that long to feel that they may be taken away from him...

con1888

victory wrote: »

That i not so bad then he does not have years of paying and you come along, seemed to be a seething underlining resentment coming from hi side maybe over protecting his assests but can't be that he has not had them that long to feel that they may be taken away from him...

No it would only have been until I pay off my debts and have decent enough credit to go on mortgage.

Right now though I wish I could just run away and never come back but that wont help anything. Rather than speak about things he has stormed off upstairs, his usual. He always avoids trying to sit down and sort things out which just gets me more angry.

Things were fine til we lived together but just now I feel unhappy with things. I always seem stressed and worried about money and I think it's having a real effect on our relationship. I was happy with him but am now wondering how I really feel about him but don't know if its just my mindset at the moment with the stress.