Help please

con1888

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

if its HIS house as you keep reminding everyone - where are you planning to be childminding?

you want to use HIS house to make YOU money. or move out and see where you can live for £250 a month! or will you be going back to mummy and daddy to sponge off of them?

At the point I will be childminding I had hoped to be on the morg, paying a fair share of it and it would then be my house also. That is even if I used his house, my mum is a childminder and has suggested a partnership from her own home which is better adapted.

I never did sponge off parents , always paid dig money when I lived there and paid for my own things so there is no need for that last little !!!!!y comment so I will not retaliate to that.

krlyr

I'd think yourself lucky to be living someone rent-free, no landlord is going to let you move in and just pay half of the bills. Even living with my parents, I had to make a contribution towards the rent and bills. I think you've got a pretty good deal already, and to expect your boyfriend to be happy with you paying him even less, it's understandable he's disagreed! You want to drop your hours at work to go to college, it's your choice and you are the one who needs to make the sacrifices, not your boyfriend. Is it going to be that much of a hardship to forgo a few nights out for a year or two?

You say you paid your parents money - you were happy to pay money towards their mortgage without you getting anything out of it, you'd have to pay a stranger money to rent from them, I really don't get why you feel you don't have to give your boyfriend anything towards his mortgage when you're getting the benefit of living in his house.

Letting you live there without any contrution to the mortgage is very supporting in my opinion! What more do you want from him, do you really feel that he owes you more than he's giving you already? Would you expect him to fund your phone bill and gym membership? You're asking him to pay more towards the bills so that you have more spare cash, you can't be totally strapped for cash to have non-essentials like gymm memberships, just tighten your belt for a while and be glad that your boyfriend is putting you up and not charging rent!

londonsurrey

You want to share, he doesn't. Even if you managed to persuade him over the issue of the rent payment, would you be happy to exist like this until your earnings match his, or would you resent the extra disposable income he has? It sounds like you and he have fundamentally different ideas about this issue.

dirtysexymonkey

con1888 wrote: »

At the point I will be childminding I had hoped to be on the morg, paying a fair share of it and it would then be my house also. That is even if I used his house, my mum is a childminder and has suggested a partnership from her own home which is better adapted.

I never did sponge off parents , always paid dig money when I lived there and paid for my own things so there is no need for that last little !!!!!y comment so I will not retaliate to that.

do you really not understand the hypocrisy in your plan?

you want HIM to pay everything other than your tiny amount (which is what it is) until the time of which you can use what he has paid for, and then you want to automatically acquire 50% of it, and use it to make money for yourself?

you might have paid dig money, but considering that you think £250 is extortionate and 'unfair', you certainly werent supporting yourself, because your not even doing that now! not that you can see it.

do you really believe that you are paying 50% of the household bills?

CH27

How long have you been together?
Have you actually ever sat down & talked about your hopes & plans for your JOINT future?

ViolaLass

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

your household bills must be minute for everything to come in under £400 a month!

Our household bills (excluding rent for a three bed flat) are about £370 a month so it's entirely possible (in total, not each).

That said, OP, maybe you need to start focusing a little less on marriage, children and the long term commitment you have in mind and start working on your relationship as it is now, otherwise you won't get as far as you've got in mind. You need to work with what you've got, not what you wish you had.

con1888

CH27 wrote: »

How long have you been together?
Have you actually ever sat down & talked about your hopes & plans for your JOINT future?

3 years and yes we had and there were no problems, now it seems there are.

He was fine with this arrangement when we spoke about it on Thursday...

To those who are saying I just need to cut down on nights out, a page or so back I put down my outgoings. It's not about cutting down nights out, the only thing I could cut is gym membership but even that leaves me with less than £100 a month after my outgoing when I am on my lessened earnings.

Here they are
£250 towards him for housey things ( ges/lec/tv/CT)
£48 phone bill - cant downgrade for another 12 months
£100 driving lessons
£200 loan repayments
£30 gym membership
£5 pet insurance
£90 travel to work

£723...


and that's without paying half of the grocery shopping which I also pay.

dirtysexymonkey

ViolaLass wrote: »

Our household bills (excluding rent for a three bed flat) are about £370 a month so it's entirely possible (in total, not each).

That said, OP, maybe you need to start focusing a little less on marriage, children and the long term commitment you have in mind and start working on your relationship as it is now, otherwise you won't get as far as you've got in mind. You need to work with what you've got, not what you wish you had.

including food? id like to know your secret if you can get all electricity, gas, council tax, tv licence, phone, food and all other expenses for £370 a month!

CH27

con1888 wrote: »

3 years and yes we had and there were no problems, now it seems there are.

He was fine with this arrangement when we spoke about it on Thursday...

To those who are saying I just need to cut down on nights out, a page or so back I put down my outgoings. It's not about cutting down nights out, the only thing I could cut is gym membership but even that leaves me with less than £100 a month after my outgoing when I am on my lessened earnings.

Here they are
£250 towards him for housey things ( ges/lec/tv/CT)
£48 phone bill - cant downgrade for another 12 months
£100 driving lessons
£200 loan repayments
£30 gym membership
£5 pet insurance
£90 travel to work

£723...


and that's without paying half of the grocery shopping which I also pay.

IMO you should put off dropping your hours until you have paid off your debts.
Also driving lessons are a luxury not an essential.
Paying your fair share of the bills is essential.

con1888

Gas and leccy we pay £100 which actually has us in credit.
CT is £138 he has said but I need to check this with council as we are band A and I know people band A who pay less. ( Not saying he is lying just that we may be paying too much )
Tv license he has said is £23 a month
Phone is included in our sky,net,phone package which is £80 total

food is outwith that amount