Time to Take Control

wannabee_in_credit

Evening all

Not much to report at all but for the first time in God knows how long, I've logged on from home in the evening. Already have the nigglings of a headache and it's only Monday as well. Not fair.
Weekend was variable, but ok. My niece's christening on Saturday (and church is really not my thing at all), followed by lots of food and drink and partying which meant the alcohol was flowing so OH promptly fell off the wagon. I ended up leaving him a letter - he doesn't cope well with me trying to talk to him. There is some effort on his part but I really hope his referral comes in soon.
The rain was non stop yesterday so not much done.
Thankfully today is payday and I have slightly more to bring home, which I assume is due to the tax threshold going up. All better than nothing.
Hope everyone is ok.:T

wannabee_in_credit

Well I'm back in at work, having been for my first counselling session. Good news is I'm normal, but the lady thinks I'm very stressed, with a lot on my plate (oh really?). She says she can tell that I am strong but I have so much to deal with that I am not able to cope with it. She wants me to write her a list of things that I need to be doing (all including home and work) and to try and cross some of it off, mainly by letting go of the things that I can't control.
She too has suggested that a break from work might do me good, as she can clearly see that my priorities at home are more important to me than work and thinks I should let work go if I can't reduce my workload. She wants me to chase up OH's mental health referral as she thinks it's important we get him going.
I don't know if I dare take time off work - it's exam season and things are hell here. I got into trouble again on Wednesday and I'm rapidly losing faith in the Head and Deputy Head. I just know something has to give soon, and decide what I dare let go in the short term.
She's also about the 8th person to seriously suggest I need a break and a holiday. Hmmmn. In my dreams only.
But I hope that this is the start of something more positive... and tonight I'm going to see the nurse about an exercise referral to see if that can help to improve my mood some.
I did spend £25 in A$da but it'll save me topping up tomorrow when I've done the big shop in Ald!.

wannabee_in_credit

So my determination to log on more over the weekend didn't work so well did it? I know that it's Monday but it is a long weekend so I hope that it still counts. I just haven't much felt like being online at all this weekend. I got home late (again) Friday night after a stressful commute and an almost missed appointment with the nurse. The good news is that I've been given exercise on referral, which I really hope will help. Hoping to hear from them this week sometime.
The not so good news was I got home fancying a little drink to settle me down, only to find that my vodka bottle was gone, plus another bottle was almost empty. Cue massive confrontation and argument with OH who insisted that he drank them weeks ago before his referral etc. In fairness it could be true - I drink so infrequently that I wouldn't notice. We had a massive argument and then we sat down and properly talked, probably more than we have done in weeks. Really cleared the air between us and hopefully put both of us in a position to better understand each other. Still I made him replace my drinks, and it cost him £42 - which he nearly died at (expensive brands bought by friends on duty free last year). They are hidden away to remove temptation from him, but I hope he has learned a lesson.
Didn't sleep well Friday night, so felt rubbish most of Saturday. We did the shopping, then I went out with my mum and sister to celebrate my mum's birthday. So yesterday I woke up with an epic hangover and most of that was a write off. We all had an early night last night and I'm really hoping that today will be a good day. The weather is holding for the moment and I really want to do something as a family today... fingers crossed.

newroadahead

Hi Wannabe

Sorry I haven't been around much. Glad to hear that you made OH replace "your drinks" and as you say it may make him think twice before drinking them again.
Well done on getting the exercise referral and hope that helps you out.

Hope you managed to do something as a family today.

Take care


NRA xx

wannabee_in_credit

Hi nra,
Thanks for posting. Yes, we went out - I remembered I had a voucher for a kids playcentre locally so we all went out there for the afternoon.
Much fun had by all I think, and nice for me not to be the only adult with them.

mandz1

glad you had fun and good news on getting your exercise refferal. Glad you made OH replace your drinks.

How is the diet going? are you still on the same thing?

wannabee_in_credit

Diet is blimming hard work. Food is fine, I'm not hungry on it, but I'm easily led astray by things like alcohol and meals out etc. Weightloss not going as well as I'd hoped but I need to be realistic and stop sabotaging myself as well.
I wish I could be happy being a fatty.

wannabee_in_credit

I've just realised I've not posted on here for a few days to catch up. Not that there's much change to report really.... I'm still in control of everything apart from dieting. GAH! Why does it have to be so blimming difficult? I have a hang on everything but that.
OH has seen doctor today, medication increased and another month off work.
Time is ticking on and we don't seem to be getting anywhere fast with getting him better and getting me thinner.
Other stuff all ok. My mood is really up and down at the moment, as it has been for weeks. I feel loads better after my counselling session but I can't seem to maintain it. And still waiting to hear about my exercise on prescription, which seems to be taking for ever. Might chase that up if I don't hear tomorrow.

newroadahead

Hi hun

Sorry haven't been on for a while, sorry to hear things not great with OH and the diet, but remember you can only do what you can.

Hope you get some news on the exercise prescription soon and that the children are well.

Take care

NRA xx

wannabee_in_credit

Morning all

Well, I've been discharged from my counselling after just 3 sessions! It's kind of good because I feel so much better, but the counsellor reckons there's nothing more I can do other than to accept that I can't control other people's behaviour. Once OH gets some counselling then things will certainly start looking up, and I also have managed to look at the work situation from a slightly different perspective and stop blaming myself for every little thing that goes wrong.
Two more weeks at work until half term.
I do wish I could hang onto the good feelings, because when it's good it's very good...
I have been wondering a bit about some of the people on here who I joined around the same time as me - mainly my inspiration, blushingrose, I do hope she's ok. It's been ages since I heard from her.
I went to do a bit of shopping yesterday as it's OH's birthday next week and I wanted to get hime something off the kids (even though he didn't bother with me). I'm right at the end of the month, approaching payday, and I still had enough money in the bank to take out cash and get him a nice present. I was thrilled to bits. The spending diary has really reined me in with the spending, although I've noticed a couple of bits slipping here and there, e.g. spent £42 in Ald! yesterday rather than the usual £35, and went out to visit a friend last night, and £10 on a takeaway. Just need to make sure I keep a close eye, because that's what got me into this situation in the first place.
Nice to see you back nra - hope you're doing well.