Time to Take Control

wannabee_in_credit

Well, more changes at home.
We're now owners of a rescue kitten called Marmalade. My kids finally wore me down. We collected him yesterday morning and the poor thing has barely had a minute to himself since then.
I'm starting to worry a bit about money, OH is still off work (at least until mid July), and now things are needing paid for the wedding our meagre savings are rapidly disappearing. I'm really concerned about how we're going to make ends meet if he doesn't get back to work soon. His health seems lots better than it has been for months and I really hoped he may be back by now.
It's been an expensive week - the car has been back in the garage and the fridge has broken again (I think we're going to have to admit defeat soon and buy a new one). Plus I've had a couple of wedding related expensed as well. I only got paid Friday but this is going to be a tight month. I really need to get my mse head back on.
:T:beer:

wannabee_in_credit

I'm just coming on here to rant a little bit and get my feelings off my chest. It's been a real rollercoaster of a week and I'm struggling just to get my head round stuff.
This time last week, I found out that one of my best friends from my uni days had died. We weren't close any more but in touch on [EMAIL="email/f@cebook"]email/f@cebook[/EMAIL] and stuff. She'd been battling with breast cancer for just over a year, and it finally beat her. I'm absolutely devastated, and even more so that I'm 300 miles away so can't even get down to her funeral. She was just the lovliest, most genuine person you could meet, and she never let anything or anyone get her down... I didn't even know the situation was as bad as it was - the last thing she said to me was that she wasn't going anywhere. I miss her.
I'm starting to get quite excited about the wedding now as it's only 8 weeks away, but little bits of stress are creeping in. OH is still off work and our money situation is getting quite tight, just at the time when everything needs to be paid for. We need to pay our venue this week, and I have final numbers etc so it's suddenly starting to feel very real. Weightloss is finally happening - I've lost just over a stone - I wish it was more but never mind... there's only me to blame for that.
The other thing that's bothering me is my friend that was going to be a bridesmaid has now pulled out of going to the wedding altogether, and I'm absolutely devastated. Don't get me wrong, she does have exceptional reasons for it - just that she was important enough to me for me to ask her to be my bridesmaid and now she won't even be there at all. This is the second time our friendship has been pushed right to the limit and I don't know how I feel about it at the moment. I know she has so much going on, but this is also one of the biggest days of my life.
I feel like a selfish cow but I really, really cant stop myself being upset and angry. I just want things to go right but they aren't so far.
Hey ho - but I feel better for getting it out on here, where nobody knows what a selfish cow I am in real life.

roseyscott

Sorry a bit of a lurker on your diary and didn't want to read and run. Well done on your weight loss and sorry about your friend, even if you aren't close to hear someone has died when they are your own age is so awful ((hugs))

Sorry about your bridesmaid, and I dont think you are being selfish, like you say she was special enough to be chosen as your bridesmaid so not to be there on your special day must be a kick in the teeth. Is there no chance she could even just be a guest?

wannabee_in_credit

Hi Rosey
Thanks for posting...
No, there's no chance of her coming to the wedding. She really does have her reasons for it, but I'm starting to get myself bothered about the whole thing now. I don't want anyone there who doesn't want to be.
But I am upset enough to wonder if our friendship will survive this one.

wannabee_in_credit

:beer:Well there's another week gone by in a bit of a haze. I'm so pleased that work is done for the summer at the end of next week because I'm SO tired now, and things are starting to get too much for me to deal with. Not in a bad way, just lots of stuff I need to get done and nothing I can be bothered to do at the moment.
The budgeting and money saving is ok. I've had a couple of slips with getting sarnies in at work and stuff but overall it's going ok. Trouble is that wedding stuff is starting to need paid for now so there's loads of money going out of my savings account, which is marginally stressing me because I've worked hard to save it.
Fly lady has stopped altogether and will resume in just over a week.
Still having bits of bother with the fridge and the car.
Gad!
OH still off work, so no extra money coming in.
Just little things - I'm still smiling though - just need to give my head a shake and find my motivation somewhere.
):D:D

wannabee_in_credit

Well there's another £270 gone. My fridge freezer is now beyond repair according to the poor fridge repair man, who almost has his own parking space outside our house.
I've ordered a new one and it's coming Wednesday. I'm stupidly excited and plan to buy ham, cheese and tomatoes to celebrate because the kids have been asking for ham and cheese sarnies for weeks and we can't because the fridge has been off for almost a month.
I just wish the timing was a little better - 7 weeks until wedding, OH still off work (5 months now), and things desperately needing paid for. I know the wedding pot was precisely for this time, but it is breaking my heart to see the balance getting lower and lower and lower every day. Still about 5 large ish things to pay for (I hope that's all).

mandz1

sorry things arent going well at the moment. its horrible when you have to pay out for a really expensive item.

Hope you manage to sort everything out for the wedding and well done on the weightloss that you have had.

wannabee_in_credit

Dear me, I think that July has been my worst MSE month EVER since my lbm. I knew it was going to be tough with loads of wedding related stuff to pay out for but I have been a little bit lax with other stuff as well. For example, bought lunch at work 3 days last week. Not only do I NEVER buy lunch at work - I am also supposed to be dieting hard for the wedding. No real excuses other than I was really looking forward to the end of term and celebrated way more than I should have done. Ah well.
The savings pot is disappearing. I knew it would but I never thought it would be so hard to see the balance going down and down. It is worth it though, because the wedding is going to be fantastic.
It's looking like OH may finally be on the verge of returning to work as well. Please keep your fingers crossed for me - he goes in on Thursday to see the doctor and I'm really hoping he'll start back pretty much straight after. I can't believe he's been off for 5 months - it's been so difficult. And we're still waiting for his referral to come through from April. How's that for waiting times on the NHS?
xxx

wannabee_in_credit

Well, things are finally on the up and my brain is being totally taken over with wedding related stuff...
Good news is that OH is finally going back to work tomorrow. It's brilliant that after 5 very long months he's finally found it in him to go back - even though we're STILL waiting for his mental health referral (I'm disgusted by this). I just hope that he's really getting sorted out this time, otherwise this is just going to keep on happening.
I've had my first week off work and it's been brilliant but really non stop. I've had makeup trials, wedding dress fittings, gym trips, visits with the kids. I just wish that it was all free, but unfortunately not. Trying to think of something to do with the kids today that's cheap and cheerful.
The only little thing is someone that I thought was a good friend has turned out to be someone that I'm really not sure about any more. She's had a really rotten time of things recently but I'm now upset with just how much she expects from me in return for giving absolutely nothing.
Ah well.

newroadahead

Really glad to hear OH is going back to work, sorry about his referral I do remember how long all this can take.

It looks like you have had a bit of a rough time since I last posted but Im really pleased you are still upbeat about things and I bet you cant wait for your very special day to arrive.

I know its hard when you feel friends have left you down (believe me been there and bought the t-shirt) but remember that you are a special lady and have done right by them and as long as you can look back with no regrets that's all that matters.


Really well done on the weight loss its fantastic :j and I'm sure you can notice the difference in the way you feel.

Hope you have a good week, keep smiling and remember YOUR big day is coming up very soon

Take care


NRA xxxx