Mother in law driving me nuts - HELP!

borokat

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Little-House-Philippa-Gregory/dp/0006496431

Get her a copy of this book for Christmas :rotfl:

My mum had my sister in 1978 and breast feeding wasn't encouraged then, so she bottle fed. My brother and I (1986 & 1983) were both breastfed, she said by then they were encouraging it.

mummyoftwomonkeys

she may be a pain but at least she wants to help my m.i.l wouldn't even give my youngest son a cuddle when he was a baby. Shes only just warming to him now and hes almost 3

shar46y

Wait until they think it's time to wean the baby, then you get a whole new round of nagging

Kaz2904

It's awful isn't it? I can't understand it though. When they had their babies and their Mum's came round to help, they would be doing things like the washing up and making food and whatnot.Our Mil's only seem to want to come round and cuddle the baby so that we can get on with doing stuff. Crikey.
I must admit to being one of the BF because it was easier people too. DD fed 2 hourly for so long that I just couldn't keep up with the bottles. DS was full and happy with his milk. My Sil let herself get talked into FF her second because she fed 2 hourly too and SiL was tired and just thought she wasn't producing enough milk. Fully forgetting that she had 4 years between her 2 and babies are really tiring and her DS had just started school too which is also really tiring when you've not had to be up and out every morning for several years. Both of our DD's were little too which means they have littler tummies so more filling up needed.

I cannot understand where htis need comes from for Grandparents to want to have their very tiny Grandchildren overnight including getting up and doing night feeds. It's different if the babies mother is ill and needs sleep but why else do it? I remember a conversation with a friend when it was her DH's 30th and we were all going out for a meal. her baby was going to be about 9 weeks old and I made the passing comment of she wouldn't want to be out too late then because of the baby (mine were 5 & 3 and I didn't want to be out too late either ). She said it was ok because baby was staying at grandparents for the night. I was surprised and said not to commit to anything because she may feel she wanted to go home to be with bubs and she said "Oh no it's fine, he's already stayed there overnight!" I couldn't believe it because he was only about 5 weeks old at that stage. That's nuts!
I'm too set in my ways personally, I think it'll be lovely when I do have grandchildren but I certainly won't want them overnight until they are sleeping through.

neverdespairgirl

Kaz2904 wrote: »

I cannot understand where htis need comes from for Grandparents to want to have their very tiny Grandchildren overnight including getting up and doing night feeds. It's different if the babies mother is ill and needs sleep but why else do it?
I'm too set in my ways personally, I think it'll be lovely when I do have grandchildren but I certainly won't want them overnight until they are sleeping through.

My son had his first night sleeping in a different place from me when he was 5, and OH took him to Israel for 5 days for Hannukah this time last year.

He's never stayed anywhere without either me or OH in the same place.

lizzywig

I had my DD 5 weeks ago and have been inundated by people wanting to visit, it's been so overwhelming and all I've wanted is a rest and to get on and do things my way. Take a deep breath. My mum went through what you are going through when I was born, she had her MIL criticising her every move and her own mother was dead so not around to offer her positive reinforcement - she says if she can get through it anyone can.

I am personally having breastfeeding nightmares but am determined not to give up, it's a very personal choice and your MIL has no right to push you in another direction. I wonder why she feels this way. With my problems my mum suggested that I tell people who wanted to visit that I had been advised not to have people over for a couple of weeks so that I could concentrate on b'feeding....I didn't tell people that my mum was the one who advised me!! It worked though and DD and I have had the chance to make a better connection. You should try something along these lines. Most importantly try to block out what she says, if she means to continue as she's started then maybe you need to sing lalalala in your head when she's talking!!!!

Abbafan1972

shar46y wrote: »

Wait until they think it's time to wean the baby, then you get a whole new round of nagging

And potty training, walking/talking etc.