Mother in law driving me nuts - HELP!

Nicki

Gillyx wrote: »

Another one who has no idea why anyone with a brain inside their skull, would try and discourage breast feeding.

Also I'm possibly (not sure?) younger than other posters in this thread and my mum breast fed, as did OH's mum (she had 4) so was it the norm then to formula feed? I honestly thought it was a fairly modern thing i.e formula? (By that I mean 80's ish)

I think it was unusual to breast feed in the 1960s and 1970s. Not sure when breastfeeding did come back into fashion though. I know my DH and I were born in the late 60's and both our mothers were initially horrified at the very idea

Gillyx

Nicki wrote: »

I think it was unusual to breast feed in the 1960s and 1970s. Not sure when breastfeeding did come back into fashion though. I know my DH and I were born in the late 60's and both our mothers were initially horrified at the very idea

I will have to ask my Gran about this now My mum was an early 60's child, so she'd maybe have been in the same boat, although I'm pretty sure my Gran breast fed too. ( although I come from poor relations, so could be that's why they breast fed, couldn't afford formula )

It's such a natural thing though, I can't understand why anyone would be horrified.

balletshoes

Nicki wrote: »

I think it was unusual to breast feed in the 1960s and 1970s. Not sure when breastfeeding did come back into fashion though. I know my DH and I were born in the late 60's and both our mothers were initially horrified at the very idea

yep, my siblings and I were all born between 1967 and 1975, and my Mum (and all my aunts etc) bottle fed their babies.

Aimless

My Mum is a firm believer in breastfeeding, other half's mum (a decade earlier) is of the bottle with extra stuff shoved in to make him sleep through type!

Gillyx

This thread has made me happy and grateful my MIL is very pro breast feeding, and has been offering loads of (helpful) advice, already. I think it would be easy for me to give up if she wasn't as she's the only female I have really for support.

barbiedoll

I was talking to my mum about this the other day. When I was born in the 60's, formula feeding was pushed onto mums as it was seen as better and more nutritious. Because it was full of vitamins etc (just like breastmilk! :mad:) mums were made to feel as though they were "depriving" their babies if they didn't use it. The fact that it was expensive and time-consuming also preyed on new mothers' insecurities, it was sold as being "convenient" and was seen as something to aspire to.
I'm sure that the formula companies, also had a lot of input with health professionals, they would have probably been given lots of free samples and other goodies. They didn't encourage mums to BF, my mum tried it with the help of my gran but the midwife told her that she didn't have enough milk and bought round formula to give to me!

Thankfully, we've long since left those sort of practices behind!

McKneff

Why cant you take what she said at face value, and not as the interpretation you seem to have put on it.

Trapped wind can happen with bottle fed babies too.

Just a bit of conversation about when talking about other peoples babies.

When can you express your milk, simple question, she didnt say 'hurry up'

To be honest, I think your being far too oversensitive and all these other posters are adding fuel to the fire.

This is her grand child, she isnt going to alienate you. She may possibly be devastated that you have misinterpreted everything she has said.

Time to start giving Granny the benefit of the doubt

Gillyx

McKneff wrote: »

Why cant you take what she said at face value, and not as the interpretation you seem to have put on it.

Trapped wind can happen with bottle fed babies too.

Just a bit of conversation about when talking about other peoples babies.

When can you express your milk, simple question, she didnt say 'hurry up'

To be honest, I think your being far too oversensitive and all these other posters are adding fuel to the fire.

This is her grand child, she isnt going to alienate you. She may possibly be devastated that you have misinterpreted everything she has said.

Time to start giving Granny the benefit of the doubt

Maybe if this is what's happening the OP should speak to the woman and say how her comments are making her feel, that way she can be reassured and maybe MIL will think a bit more about how her comments could be construed.

I'm quite vocal with my MIL as she is very over bearing and because she's a nurse thinks she knows everything about anything baby related. I'm quite curt with her when she's being like this, I know she's saying it because she cares, but it makes me feel horrible inside.

SingleSue

My mum breast fed all of hers (we were born between 1960 and 1976) apparently I was the awkward one who would battle against her and was the earliest to hold a cup (born independant )

I bottle fed eldest because his delivery had made the breast feeding position painful for him (I did however express for the first month to try to give him the goodness) but the other two were breast fed, middle son for 7 months and youngest for 13 months and both my mum and mother in law (who bottle fed) were very supportive however I fed them.

Both me and now ex hubby were worried about his mum and how she would react, he was convinced she would be on our doorstep or on the phone constantly but she was very good and didn't interfere at all.

Mind you, she made up for it in their later years! :rotfl:

PinkLipgloss

Sounds familiar! Except in my case it was my mother, not MIL (who is wonderful).

Over the past 6 months I've REPEATEDLY heard:

• How do you know he's getting enough?
• I think he's still hungry - he needs to be on formula.
• You can't carry on like this - it's too much pressure on you.
• Don't you think he'd sleep longer with formula?
• If he had formula I could take him out longer and overnight - let you get a sleep.
• At least with formula you know exactly how much they are drinking.

etc.... It COULD really annoy me - however it doesn't because I simply switch off to it and say, in a stroppy teenager style voice "whatever".

Doctors are happy with him and thats all that concerns me - not my mothers opinions!

ps - I know her hearts in the right place, she's just not used to the concept having raised my sister and I on formula.