Mother in law driving me nuts - HELP!

Valli

Congratulations - good luck with the baby and the breastfeeding - your baby, your choice.

And delete this thread so that when you do relieve yourself of the burden no-one can say it was premeditated;)

nearlyrich

Aw hun been there done that my ex MIL had plenty to say about everything when my two were babies, she never actually did anything useful though. Fortunately my mum was a star and just helped but always said do you want me to ...wash up, make a brew whatever. Don't let her get you down and if you think about it she is probably thinking of you and excited about the new baby and would possibly be mortified to think she was being a pain. Hugs xx

And of course congratulations on the little one x

patchwork_cat

I don't think that what MIL has said is bad to be honest. As someone else has said replay it with your mum's voice. She may well not be anti breast feeding, but be concerned.

Some people take offence when someone says oh you look tired, whereas others think it is caring because they have noticed!

pinkfluffythings

Tell your husband to grow a set and tell his mother to stop interfering as its not on, not good for you and in turn not good for baby.

My ex MIL was a c*** quite honestly and I am so glad we didn't have kids as she would have ended up putting me in the nut house. My new MIL is not far off with her jealously and awful attitude but I live far enough away from her to not have anything to do with her.

Thinking of you, don't let her get you down hun xxx

McKneff

if you take each of your points and think about them, I think you are reading things into what she say that simply arent there to be honest.

Seanymph

Many many congratulations - I don't know how you are feeling generally, but I wasn't very confident with my first so those comments from the MIL and SIL really bit deep.

It was all very well the OH saying ignore them, but I was too vulnerable too.

All I can say is you are doing a brilliant job - you have the rest of your childs development and beyond to tell people to back off. In fact, you need to learn to say Back Off because she will be the first of many many people who think they know better than you. No one does, it's your child and you are a brilliant mum.

So, you do have to learn to say 'thanks' - smile - and do just whatever the hell you want.

Now, you can start that now, or do what I did and ban your MIL from the house for a couple of years Well, if he wouldn't keep her under control I didn't see why I should.

I wish I'd learnt to tell people to mind their own earlier - now mine are 15 and up, and I still listen to people tell me what to do and smile and then go do my own thing...... I just didn't start it quite early enough.

luxor4t

Your baby, your way. Enjoy singing to the little one, it drowns out a lot of background noise


[QUOTE=jetplane;49243121.....
Lord help my daughter when she gets pregnant I will have to be put in restraints [/QUOTE]


Snap! Every time I am about to open my big mouth I think "WWMiLS" (what would MiL say?) and shut my mouth again

make_me_wise

You have my sympathies OP. I have this all to come in a few short weeks too, oh the joy! I saw my sil have the first few weeks of her time as a mum ruined by busy body, know it alls who told her what was best for her baby!

My advice is trust your instincts, respect yourself and know that you understand above anyone else what is best for you and your baby. Dont let anyone ruin this very special time in your life. Of course you are tired and exhausted. How to feed a baby, breast of formula, is a subject everyone has an opinion on. I think it is a very personal choice and if you, hubby, your midwife and health visitor are happy with your sons progress that is all that matters.

Stop answering the door and phone to the mil and send a very strong message that her heavy handed approach and opinions are not wanted or welcomed. A better alternative to murdering her, though I wouldn't rule that out altogether

meritaten

Eyeliner - she cannot physically make you give up on breastfeeding (you carry on hun - its the best for baby and you while you are both happy with it).

Now, how to deal with MIL - why you smile sweetly, thank her for her much appreciated advice, inform her you will give this breastfeeding lark 'another week or so'! Then do as YOU please!!!!!!!!!!!!!! each and every time she brings it up you say exactly the same thing!
as for the expressing milk - shouldnt be long now before you have an abundance and I bet your MIL will shut up about the bf as soon as she acheives her REAL goal - and thats a chance to get the baby to herself and FEED it! Its one of the grandparents greatest pleasures in life!
Good luck
merit

flippin36

My MIL was the same - she bottle fed (and I think was insecure about it) so was determined that her first grandchild was the same. She went on, and on and on and on.... We ended up moving and turning the phone to answer machine..sorry not much help. I'd smile, ignore her but set down some strict visitation arrangements. Could your OH take baby to visit her and give you a break from it all?