how would you feel is a teacher called your son sexy ?

AndrewSmith

balletshoes wrote: »

I really think it depends on the context - and in the context the OP described, I would have taken that as the teacher passing on to the OP what her son's peers say/think about him - not what the teacher thinks.

If you look again at how the OP has said the teacher worded her final statement it is clearly not merely passing on the opinion of someone else. It is very clear that this is the opinion of the teacher. She does not say "the girls in the class think he's fit and sexy" but very clearly says as below:

cookie54 wrote: »

I dont think you realise just how popular your son is and how hard the girls are fitting over him. He is an extremely good looking ,Fit and sexy boy who every one fancys !!!!!!

Quite obvious that the teacher has formed this opinion for herself. The first comment is merely an observation of popularity, the second is the teachers own opinion.

balletshoes wrote: »

And sorry, but you are kidding yourself if you think 11-year olds don't think of some of their peers/other people as fit and/or sexy. I certainly did at that age :rotfl:! It doesn't mean they really are aware of the adult meaning of the term or will act on those feelings yet.

Im not saying they dont but it wasnt an 11 year old friend or peer that wrote the report was it? It was a teacher who is entrusted with the safety and upbringing of our children. I stand by what I said that the teacher is wrong to have put this in a school report and it should be brough to the attention of the headteacher.

geminilady

Peater wrote: »

'Sexy' is a widely used term now instead of 'desirable'. 'Sexy Politics' springs to mind. I really wouldn't worry.

If , on the other hand, the teacher in question had remarked 'Your son is sexually attractive to me', i'd be concerned.

I did not know this will check with my son but the word does not seem appropriate for a teacher to use towards an eleven year old and she did not say the girls found him sexy just that he was.

AndrewSmith

geminilady wrote: »

the word does not seem appropriate for a teacher to use towards an eleven year old and she did not say the girls found him sexy just that he was.

This is exactly my point.

lostinrates

I'm afraid I agree with those who fin it somehow wrong. I do not think in any way shape or form that it suggests the teacher is morally wrong, but rather it is an indication of the increasingly sexually conscious world we are putting kids in...which stokes a fire to burn faster than it need; at this age it should be igniting slowly.

Of course kids are interested in the new emotions their hormones are helping pump around their bodies, and of course they are gaining consiousness on how to present themselves, but in increasing the importnace of ''sexy'' in this equation we risk minimising the importance of other aspects of personality and life.

dibuzz

Teenage boys often tell me my dog is "sexy" sould I be worried?
It does seem to have a slightly different meaning these days.

patchwork_cat

Is this a boast disguised as a concern? Your son's teacher was just saying what the other kids think. The teacher was perhaps ill advised to use the word sexy, but I certainly don't think it means the teacher fancies him.

As others have said looks fade, academic excellence doesn't. Also those kids that are good looking at 11 don't necessarily stay that way. My son is 18 and I am stunned when I see friends or photos of his friends that I knew when he was 11 and haven't really seen since, I honestly wouldn't recognise them.

balletshoes

patchwork_cat wrote: »

Your son's teacher was just saying what the other kids think.

thats what I would think too. OP did you get the impression from your conversation with the teacher that it was her thoughts and not those of your son's classmates? I have to say, unless there was some other indication of inappropriate behaviour on the part of the teacher towards your son, it wouldn't even occur to me that those were the teacher's views of your son, rather the opinion of your son's classmates.

AndrewSmith

patchwork_cat wrote: »

Is this a boast disguised as a concern? Your son's teacher was just saying what the other kids think.

Not quite accurate. Look again at what the OP says the teacher reported:

cookie54 wrote: »

i dont think you realise just how popular your son is and how hard the girls are fitting over him.

Yes I can agree that this is the teacher merely commenting on the behaviour of the girls in his class towards him. Personally I still think it is unnecessary to comment on this in a school report, if the teacher felt compelled to make the mother aware then maybe she should have just mentioned it to her. It has no bearing on the childs academic performance.

Its the next statement that concerns me most:

cookie54 wrote: »

He is an extremely good looking ,Fit and sexy boy who every one fancys !!!!!!

That clearly isnt the teacher passing on the opinion of others or she would have said something like "these girls think he is......" (and as a teacher she should know how to write correctly). She is making a statement of her own opinion which in my eyes is completely inappropriate.

Alikay

I don't particularly like the word "sexy" and think it's inappropriate to use in relation to children. However it IS popular with younger people and in general use: Just this morning I woke up to the song "Sexy and I know it" which one of the children I look after is forever singing!

I doubt the teacher finds your son "sexy" at all, and probably meant he's charismatic or "cool" (another word I detest!). I wouldn't read too much into it unless the teacher appears to be crossing the boundaries in other ways, and assume English wasn't her chosen degree given her selection of adjectives!

lostinrates

dibuzz wrote: »

Teenage boys often tell me my dog is "sexy" sould I be worried?
It does seem to have a slightly different meaning these days.

a symptom of the same issue perhaps?

I've heard this too...a general view of ''good'' as ''sexy''. Inversely perhaps as they get older then not ''sexy'' is bad? While I'm all for sex I'm also in favour of other good things not being neglected.