how would you feel is a teacher called your son sexy ?

meds12_2

I'm a teacher and have said things at parents' evenings that in hindsight, I regret - after a day's teaching and possibly seeing up to 60 kids and parents you do start to lose your marbles a bit and waffle on out of exhaustion - have you never put your foot in it or said anything and later thought "I could have worded that better". I'd be mortified if it resulted in a formal complaint.

Surely if the teacher was some sort of !!!!!phile they would be less likely to say anything in front of you?

Finally, I hate to say it, but saying things like "he's popular" (or "lively") alongside getting detentions to me would say they are politely trying to tell you he is "challenging" and "disruptive" - i.e. stopping others from learning. Contrary to public opinion, it isn't violence in the classroom that is having the most negative effect on education (that remains, thankfully, rare), it is children who won't stop talking when they should be listening - they absolutely ruin education for the well-behaved.

CruisingSaver

My 12 year old daughter is also in Year 7, so I sort of feel your pain! However, I'd be more concerned that your son has received detentions (plural!) in less than a term at High School rather than the unfortunate phrasing expressed by his teacher.

As the previous poster suggested he does sound like a bit of a 'livewire' so maybe he needs to cool his heels and concentrate on his schoolwork rather than being concerned with being 'popular'!

Heart_Shaped_Diamond

Is it just me that wonders why her sons 'popularity' has anything to do with this? Or have I missed the point... Not hating, just wondering

Spendless

CruisingSaver wrote: »

My 12 year old daughter is also in Year 7, so I sort of feel your pain! However, I'd be more concerned that your son has received detentions (plural!) in less than a term at High School rather than the unfortunate phrasing expressed by his teacher.

As the previous poster suggested he does sound like a bit of a 'livewire' so maybe he needs to cool his heels and concentrate on his schoolwork rather than being concerned with being 'popular'!

Think that depends on the school. The one my 11yo attends gives detentions over any piece of missed homework, not handed in on due date, any part of PE kit missing (friend's son got one for not having sports socks, her other for missing 1 shinpad- it had fallen out of car door when she dropped him off)whereas a recent thread in DT was from another member talking about her son only getting them for misbehaviour at his school. My son got one for not putting printed off homework in his bag, so he came home and pasted it in and then the following day he received another cos he's pasted it into his French book instead of his History one cos his exercise books are the same colour.


I'm another one who thinks she meant the word 'sexy' as in good-looking, fanciable. I cringed when I heard my DH's older teenage cousins refer to their toddler neice as 'sexy' but they meant cute, pretty, adorable. It definately has got a different type of meaning by some people, whether that is a generation or region thing I don't know.

AndrewSmith

What the teacher actually said was "good looking, fit, sexy and everybody fancies him". I can't see where the ambiguity is. It is obvious in what context it was said, she was inferring how attractive the child is to the opposite sex in her opinion. She didn't say "the girls think he is" she said "He is".

I agree the word sexy has other meanings in today's society however when used in context with the rest of the description it is a very disturbing was for an adult to describe an 11 year old child and needs to be addressed.

I can't help wondering how the attitudes would be different if it were a male teacher saying this about an 11 year old girl. There would be outcry for his resignation and public lynching.

I cannot understand how any decent person could possibly think what the teacher said as being appropriate in any way. It's shocking, really shocking.

Peater

On a side note regarding his 'popularity' - The 'cool kid' in my year who had a troop of disciples doing his bidding around school, couldn't hack university (small fish, big pond) and dropped out in under a year. He is now the deputy caretaker back at the same school.....

The quiet kid who no-one spoke to and of occasion 'bullied' now runs his own successful IT consultancy, owns a house, car, has a lovely wife and a young son.

I'd tell him to wind his neck in, oh and get off facebook.... (that's where the REAL sex offenders live)

AndrewSmith

Completely agree Peater. Similar experiences from my school days as well.

Definitely cancel the Facebook account. Agree 100%.

Carl31

Peater wrote: »

On a side note regarding his 'popularity' - The 'cool kid' in my year who had a troop of disciples doing his bidding around school, couldn't hack university (small fish, big pond) and dropped out in under a year. He is now the deputy caretaker back at the same school.....

The quiet kid who no-one spoke to and of occasion 'bullied' now runs his own successful IT consultancy, owns a house, car, has a lovely wife and a young son.

I'd tell him to wind his neck in, oh and get off facebook.... (that's where the REAL sex offenders live)

thats a nothing point

theres examples of all types of kids everywhere, look at Jamie oliver, he was the waster kid at school as was Chris Eubank the boxer

The OPs kid is popular, the teacher is telling his parents, hes not getting special treatment and shes not telling the world about it

meds12_2

AndrewSmith wrote: »

What the teacher actually said was "good looking, fit, sexy and everybody fancies him". I can't see where the ambiguity is. It is obvious in what context it was said, she was inferring how attractive the child is to the opposite sex in her opinion. She didn't say "the girls think he is" she said "He is".

I agree the word sexy has other meanings in today's society however when used in context with the rest of the description it is a very disturbing was for an adult to describe an 11 year old child and needs to be addressed.

I can't help wondering how the attitudes would be different if it were a male teacher saying this about an 11 year old girl. There would be outcry for his resignation and public lynching.

I cannot understand how any decent person could possibly think what the teacher said as being appropriate in any way. It's shocking, really shocking.

Not that it was appropriate - but I think people understand that people sometimes make mistakes with how they say things? Have you never done that? Not ever? It sounds like the teacher is probably newly qualified - hence the behaviour management problems with the son, she was probably trying desperately thinking of a nice way to word the fact that he is making her job very unpleasant indeed!

AndrewSmith

I fail to see how calling an 11 year old boy "good looking, fit, sexy and everybody fancies him" is in any way pointing out a behavioural issue.

Of course I have said things in the wrong way before, however I have never spoken in such a way about a child, especially a child entrusted to my care. Mistake or not, what the teacher said was wholly inappropriate, concerning and should be raised with the headteacher.

As I said before, reverse the sexes, imagine a male teacher made the same comments about an 11 year old girl and see how defensive you would all be then.