how would you feel is a teacher called your son sexy ?

balletshoes

AndrewSmith wrote: »

Personally I still think it is unnecessary to comment on this in a school report, if the teacher felt compelled to make the mother aware then maybe she should have just mentioned it to her.

I thought the teacher had just mentioned it to her - from the OPs first post I didn't think any of that was in a written report? It was a conversation on parents evening wasn't it?

jjww_2

I don't think the teacher was being peverted just using words that both parent and child would understand. Parents evenings nowadays routinely involve the child in question and at my son's school they are told to attend.

If I was OP I would be more concerned with my son getting detentions and being allowed to move them about to fit sports in. If I was them I would ban him from sport till he has had a fortnight with no detentions and then after that every detention means his misses 2 weeks of rugby he would soon start doing as the teachers tell him.

Popularity and girls behaviour towards boys at school has a massive impact on them especially at this age, I remember parents evening in year 8 where every male teacher told my son to not get distracted by girls in the coming year. I certainly did not think this meant the teachers fancied him!

AndrewSmith

balletshoes wrote: »

I thought the teacher had just mentioned it to her - from the OPs first post I didn't think any of that was in a written report? It was a conversation on parents evening wasn't it?

Regardless, a teacher should not refer to one of her pupils as "fit or sexy". Its just wrong on so many levels.

I cannot understand how you see it as appropriate? If it were my child I would be equally as upset as the OP as would any responsible parent.

balletshoes

AndrewSmith wrote: »

Regardless, a teacher should not refer to one of her pupils as "fit or sexy". Its just wrong on so many levels.

I cannot understand how you see it as appropriate? If it were my child I would be equally as upset as the OP as would any responsible parent.

As I've said before on this thread, if the teacher had used those words in that context with me without my child hearing it, I'd have no problem with it, because I would be under the impression that the teacher was using the terms fit and sexy as language that my son's classmates were using to describe him.

I don't think it was particularly clever of the teacher to use those terms in front of the child - because now he'll think he's even more top of the heap than he was before and that he has all his girl classmates falling at his feet!

adamantine

"fit and sexy" are terms used to describe alot of things these days.

my car has been called sexy! a cocktail in a bar ive heard called sexy! fit could have been used in the literal sense as in he actually is fit because he does sports!

we do not know the exact word for word conversation and just have the brief outline from the OP so i think alot of people are jumping to conclusions about the actual context. we do not know the teachers body language or gestures or tone of voice. all of those can drastically change the meaning of the sentence about the child being "fit and sexy"

Mojisola

adamantine wrote: »

"fit and sexy" are terms used to describe alot of things these days.

my car has been called sexy! a cocktail in a bar ive heard called sexy! fit could have been used in the literal sense as in he actually is fit because he does sports!

we do not know the exact word for word conversation and just have the brief outline from the OP so i think alot of people are jumping to conclusions about the actual context. we do not know the teachers body language or gestures or tone of voice. all of those can drastically change the meaning of the sentence about the child being "fit and sexy"

If it was a child's friend using the words, it would be a different matter.

For an adult, especially one in a position of authority over an 11 year old, it was inappropriate language and unprofessional.

The child should not have been described like this by a teacher, if only to protect her own position. Another parent could have passed the word around "Watch that one, she says my son is sexy" and the teacher could find herself suspended.

adamantine

if the teacher had said it in a light jokey tone complete with air quotes then it is clear that she doesnt have that veiw and is just repeating what she has overheard from the OP son's peers. even without the air quotes the tone can still indicate whether its the teachers opinion or not and we dont know the tone of voice.

FatVonD

I think it's all very odd, even the bit about telling both him and the parents that all the girls are 'fitting' over him. Why not just say he's very popular with the girls and be done with it?

Badger_Lady

FatVonD wrote: »

I think it's all very odd, even the bit about telling both him and the parents that all the girls are 'fitting' over him. Why not just say he's very popular with the girls and be done with it?

So we're all in agreement - her terminology was weird.

But aren't we all getting a bit too hung up on terminology? Her intentions were clear and in no way harmful.

melancholly

some of the reaction on here really is making a mountain out of molehill. poor choice of words (reported second hand so there will be some variation in whether she said 'the other students' or 'they' or 'he is'... sexy etc - let's not get too distracted by that detail!). it's still unclear whether she son was there from the OP. there's also no way that he isn't already aware that he is popular and can influence behaviour...... odd choice of words but sensible message to convey to his parents (and therefore to him, directly or indirectly) - he does have a lot of influence over his peers and it would be wise of him to realise that. it's not an insult or criticism, but a statement of how it is.