becoming skint!!! advice welcome :-)

time2deal

Have you suggested that your husband quits work and looks after the baby? Then you can go back to work and keep all your money!

In divorce I think a wife who stays at home and raises the kids is normally deemed to have contributed half to the marriage. A spouse at home is part of the reason a husband can work, and not have to worry about looking after the kids, or cleaning the house, or meeting the builders etc etc. All things that are as necessary to living as earning the money.

However, having said all that... this thread has made me think about my relationship. We are the other way around. I earn much more than my husband, and while I cover all the housing costs, we do share bills and holidays costs etc. It annoys me a bit sometimes that we live to his salary - ie we can't go on fancy holidays because he wants to pay half and in a way I suppose I wouldn't be too happy to pay too much of 'his' costs. I do feel that as I cover all the mortgage (which is almost £1700 per month) I shouldn't have to subside him too much otherwise.

But... perhaps I am being a bit hard. I suppose any additional amount is much more as a percentage of his income. I think as a guy it is a bit harder, but perhaps I could be a tad more graceful. Food for thought...

Spirit_2

Upto 2002 Mr Spirit earned a great deal more than me. We shared all of our income and outgoings.

He was made redundant and 'down shifted', my career took off and i earned much more than him. I still do. We still share everything. We have joint accounts.

When we got into debt for a while they were joint debts regardless of whoevers name they were in, and we had to both play a part in resolving it (Mr Spirit was less keen on belt tightening I admit).

You and your husband need a really good chat about how the current view of shared expenses and seperate incomes does not fit with family life and agree on how it works in future.

lostinrates

OP do you love him, do you consider it an other wise happy marriage?

What would happen, financially, if one of you became ill?

I came to my mariage with more ''in cash'' and hlped dh though a post grad course. I m ill and haven't worked since shortly after dh and I met and he has supported me ever since. Though e have separate bank acounts we both have the log ins to all our accounts. I cannot imagine living in such a way with the person I love that what was ine wasn't his and vice versa. I have no children, so I cn even say I've earned it as the mother of his children.

I think whats being discussed is the tip of an iceberg. I have seen soe very very successful marriages ith an age gap, but I can't help wonder if your charmig acceptance of this is partly because he is older, and his controlling attitude isn't facilitated by that too. I think sometimes its easy to get separated from ''social norms'' and not recognise our own behaviours as ''unusual'' and if it worls for both people , who cares, but I can't help think you need to think very carefully about whether you are happy to be in such an unbalanced situation.

Good luck!

OrkneyStar

jclm wrote: »

it is a lot lol!!!! some are luxury ones but they are all 'preloved' and can be sold later. i'll have two kiddies in nappies at the same time so need a double stash:

newborn nappies: £100
size ones: £150
size twos: £300
night nappies: £100
wetbags (for nursery), bucket, wipes etc: £100
'easy' nursery nappies: £200

plus special large bottomed trousers for going over the reusable nappies are more expensive as i can't buy cheapo trousers for the baby from ebay.

Buy one size up, worked for me, well not me, DS lol when he was in real nappies.

moomoomama27

Has this been resurrected to make the OP feel ad for her latest thread?

OrkneyStar

moomoomama27 wrote: »

Has this been resurrected to make the OP feel ad for her latest thread?

I haven't commented on the other thread as I have no decent advice to offer there that hasn't been suggested already, and don't feel slating the OP's choice of title will do any good, but I did find my way here from the link on there.
I did think twice about posting, but then thought that what I had to add was genuine good advice re the clothes sizing- it certainly worked for us when DS was in the larger/more padded versions of the real nappies.
When you say feel 'ad', do you mean 'bad'? I am assuming you do.

moomoomama27

OrkneyStar wrote: »

I haven't commented on the other thread as I have no decent advice to offer there that hasn't been suggested already, and don't feel slating the OP's choice of title will do any good, but I did find my way here from the link on there.
I did think twice about posting, but then thought that what I had to add was genuine good advice re the clothes sizing- it certainly worked for us when DS was in the larger/more padded versions of the real nappies.
When you say feel 'ad', do you mean 'bad'? I am assuming you do.

Yes I meant bad, sorry I have limited eyesight at the moment so it's hard to see I've made some errors.

OrkneyStar

moomoomama27 wrote: »

Yes I meant bad, sorry I have limited eyesight at the moment so it's hard to see I've made some errors.

Fair enough

sulkisu

I've just realised that this thread is a year old!