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Am I Being Mean?

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Comments

  • olibrofiz
    olibrofiz Posts: 821 Forumite
    Can't think of anything that hasn't already been said, but didn't want to read & run.

    My heart goes out to you xx
  • WhiteHorse
    WhiteHorse Posts: 2,492 Forumite
    babymoo wrote: »
    He obviously see's dope his number 1 priority.
    Free will.
    Never give him any money for xmas or birthday, rather buy him something if this is what you wish to do or give him a gift card then you aren't readily helping him to smoke it.
    But you then have this problem ...
    Watch for things that you buy him going missing or breaking, this happened a lot when my brother was a heavy user and there was ALWAYS some excuse.
    Which is a bit late by then, isn't it?

    Junkies will sell anything and anyone down the river.
    "Never underestimate the mindless force of a government bureaucracy
    seeking to expand its power, dominion and budget"
    Jay Stanley, American Civil Liberties Union.
  • peachyprice
    peachyprice Posts: 22,346 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    WhiteHorse wrote: »
    Junkies will sell anything and anyone down the river.

    Yeah, but it's only dope, that don't count do it.
    Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence and face your future without fear
  • WhiteHorse
    WhiteHorse Posts: 2,492 Forumite
    Yeah, but it's only dope, that don't count do it.
    My stepson 'only' smoked dope.

    He narrowly avoided ending up in a psychiatric institution as a result. He attacked his mother and stole anything that wasn't screwed down.

    I threw him out.
    "Never underestimate the mindless force of a government bureaucracy
    seeking to expand its power, dominion and budget"
    Jay Stanley, American Civil Liberties Union.
  • CH27
    CH27 Posts: 5,531 Forumite
    I'd take the car off him. Could you live with yourself if he killed or injured someone?
    Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud.
  • peachyprice
    peachyprice Posts: 22,346 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    WhiteHorse wrote: »
    My stepson 'only' smoked dope.

    He narrowly avoided ending up in a psychiatric institution as a result. He attacked his mother and stole anything that wasn't screwed down.

    I threw him out.

    Exactly.

    But they think they're not 'real' junkies just because they're not injecting.

    I lost a good friend to schizophrenia bought on by the stuff, he threw himself off a tower block at the age of 18, such a waste. But all his mates were doing it, how harmful could it be.

    It saddens me that it's so socially acceptable and young people are so ignorant to the mental health problems it causes, problems that seem to be glossed over because it's 'only' dope.
    Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence and face your future without fear
  • Spirit_2
    Spirit_2 Posts: 5,546 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    I have a brother who is the older model of your son.

    Car crushed (it had been paid for by mum), dope smoking, licence lost, articulate, manipulative addict. Enabled by my mum because she played by a code of conduct he exploited, and he was not held accountable at this very basic level because she mitigated any hardship where he personally felt deprived.

    My mum is dead but he is now quite content for his 11 year old child to be his 'carer' as he uses everyone who loves him as he holds the power of manipulating them ...so eating into her childhood is not a problem to him.

    Do your son the biggest favour you can and take the car back, hold him to account, and stop being a major contributor to him not having to bear the consequences.

    Or look forward to him having a lifelong sense of entitlement in which he will pressure any vulnerable loved one into being a crutch.
  • Well I don't know if this has been mentioned already but for !!!!!! woman not only is he driving with out tax but possibly driving without insurance as well as well as being a known dope user.

    What the hell does he have to do before you take the car off him? Do you know, hand on heart, that he's never driven under the influence?

    He's clearly thrown the help you've given him back in your face so no I wouldn't feel mean, I would feel like I've been taken for a fool for believing him and like an idiot for not stopping him potentially killing someone.
    2014 Target;
    To overpay CC by £1,000.
    Overpayment to date : £310

    2nd Purse Challenge:
    £15.88 saved to date
  • LandyAndy
    LandyAndy Posts: 26,377 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts
    Caroline_a wrote: »
    If it isn't taxed it needs a SORN - http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Motoring/OwningAVehicle/HowToTaxYourVehicle/DG_10021514 - and I doubt if any insurance company would pay out for a non-taxed vehicle that was involved in any claim.


    You'd be wrong then.
  • I don't believe I suggested it was okay. The rural upbringing has probably saved him from prison and serious addiction.

    He does have a serious addiction. And if he carries on driving illegally and/or stoned, he will be in prison. Or dead.

    He is currently insured

    If his car is not taxed his insurance is invalid. If he is driving drunk or drugged his insurance is invalid. If he hasn't declared his previous issues with cars his insurance is invalid.
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