Is he useless or am I unreasonable?

meer53

Nothing much more to add, but i've enjoyed reading this thread ! A lot of the posts just confirm what i already knew, that most men are selfish ars*holes ! I think it's their mothers fault ! My son is 24, i really hope i haven't turned him into one of these !
Seriously Blue Monkey, it's your hormones that are making you like this, concentrate on you and your little one, let him "sort himself out" as others have said, he'll probably need to do it for a while after the baby arrives anyway ! From what you've said, he's generally ok so i don't think you have too much to worry about really. Try to think about it from his point, it's all new to him too ! I'm sure when the baby arrives, everything you're worrying about now will be forgotten, now isn't the time to be having serious relationship chats ! There will be plenty of time for that later.
BUT - if you still don't get the support you need after the baby is here, don't bottle it up, that just makes things worse. I can remember being absolutely furious that my ex would never get up and do the night feeds to help me so that i could get some sleep, but instead of making him, i just left it until eventually, i ended up sitting on the stairs in floods of tears because i was exhausted (baby was premature and feeding every 2 hours !) He was mortified that i'd not said anything, (he was a heavy sleeper and never heard her wake up) i was waiting for him to volunteer, massive break down in communication, it could have been sorted out if only i'd asked. I know i shouldn't have to ask but hey, it's men we're talking about here ! Good luck xx

merlot123

I am going to give my honest opinion here.


You are pregnant, not ill, why would you want your OH to make you his priority? Lots of us women are/have been pregnant, you have to deal with it, hormones and all. Goodness knows how you will cope with a toddler and being pregnant at the same time.

I don't think he will change when the baby arrives, he may do for a short time, but I suspect he will go back to how he is now. Babies impact more on the mothers lives, and some men will continue to live in their bubble, but you can't share that bubble with him once baby arrives, reality will set in, and babies are hard work and tiring. Make sure you rest for the next couple of weeks.

merlot123

Gillyx

I don't think Blue Monkey wants her partner to make her his priority, but at the same time she is growing his baby, is the mother of his child, so a bit of appreciation and helpfulness wouldn't go amiss.

Christ if my OH turned around and said that to me now I'd love to punch him square in the balls!!

Pregnancy is different for everyone, for someone for example suffering from SPD, there partner should be doing everything they can to help. On the other hand some people have a brilliant pregnancy.

Person_one

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Wow, no wonder there are so many broken marriages around!

Most parents actually agree that their children are more important than either of them.

You've shown on many threads in the past that you don't understand this but I don't believe for a second you're still surprised by it.

Person_one

merlot123 wrote: »

I am going to give my honest opinion here.


You are pregnant, not ill, why would you want your OH to make you his priority?

Um, shouldn't they be each other's priority anyway, regardless of pregnancy?

Carl31

im just going to add a mans view into the mix

I have 2 children with 2 different mothers. I think its very easy for women to get caught up in the excitement of a baby, and forget about their man. He doesnt have the connection and feelings you have, hes probably just been hearing about Baby, baby, baby now for weeks, whilst being told to pander to his expectant wife, and carry on at work and everything else. Hes tired, it makes things harder to handle, and all hes sees is it getting harder

It takes a few weeks for a dad to bond with a baby, a mother generally does it instantly. If youre not careful, it maybe worse after Bby is born

Just remember you wouldn't have what you have if it wasn't for him

Peater

Carl31 wrote: »

Just remember you wouldn't have what you have if it wasn't for him

Yikes! *runs for cover*

Person_one

Carl31 wrote: »

im just going to add a mans view into the mix

I have 2 children with 2 different mothers. I think its very easy for women to get caught up in the excitement of a baby, and forget about their man. He doesnt have the connection and feelings you have, hes probably just been hearing about Baby, baby, baby now for weeks, whilst being told to pander to his expectant wife, and carry on at work and everything else. Hes tired, it makes things harder to handle, and all hes sees is it getting harder

It takes a few weeks for a dad to bond with a baby, a mother generally does it instantly. If youre not careful, it maybe worse after Bby is born

Just remember you wouldn't have what you have if it wasn't for him

This thread is really depressing.

I'm always defending men when stereotypes pop up that they're all lumbering cavemen mainly guided by ego and their kn0b, incapable of sparing a thought for anybody's else's feelings and happiness but their own, but there are so many men on here trying to prove me wrong I'm starting to feel disheartened.

Brighton_belle

merlot123 wrote: »

I am going to give my honest opinion here.


You are pregnant, not ill, why would you want your OH to make you his priority?

Bit harsh! She is 8 and half months pregnant, she tired and stressed yes I would expect a husband to cherish and look after his wife a bit more at this stage. Blimey, I've just got bad cold and mine is doing that just for that, as I give him extra tlc if he feels a bit carp.
Yes, I get that he is probably stresed in his own way, but the idea being heavily pregnant doesn't have an impact on your health, stamina, sleeping etc unless you are very lucky...

MarilynMonroe_2

Carl31 wrote: »

im just going to add a mans view into the mix

I have 2 children with 2 different mothers. I think its very easy for women to get caught up in the excitement of a baby, and forget about their man. He doesnt have the connection and feelings you have, hes probably just been hearing about Baby, baby, baby now for weeks, whilst being told to pander to his expectant wife, and carry on at work and everything else. Hes tired, it makes things harder to handle, and all hes sees is it getting harder

It takes a few weeks for a dad to bond with a baby, a mother generally does it instantly. If youre not careful, it maybe worse after Bby is born

Just remember you wouldn't have what you have if it wasn't for him

Awww didums !