Is he useless or am I unreasonable?

VfM4meplse

scheming_gypsy wrote: »

You're both at fault.

You sound like you'd prefer him to be gay; what with all this being more sensitive to your needs etc... and he could probably do with being a bit less selfish.

Just cook him a nice meal and give him a blow job to apologise.


Quick tip for you.... when you're in labour and doing the deep breaths.... blow your own bloody birthing pool up

Typical sexist b*llocks from you s_g!

Whatever happened to cherishing each other? If you're prepared to put your OH's happiness before yours and vice versa then this kind of argument should never arise.

scheming_gypsy

VfM4meplse wrote: »

Whatever happened to cherishing each other? If you're prepared to put your OH's happiness before yours and vice versa then this kind of argument should never arise.

so why's she not putting his in front of hers? or did you just drop a bollock then when what you actually meant is that he should just put hers before his?
It's a two way thing, which is why she should stop expecting him to do exactly what she wants and he needs to stop being selfish.

Brighton_belle

OP, no , I don't think it is too much too ask, especially as you have also talked gently, waited til you think he was receptive etc etc. Sending big sympathetic hugs.
Try not to think what will happen after the birth because so much is going to change it is not possible to predict. It may equally be the making of him.

scheming_gypsy

Brighton_belle wrote: »

It may equally be the making of him.

and he's probably cacking it which could be playing a part in how he's being.

Brighton_belle

scheming_gypsy wrote: »

and he's probably cacking it which could be playing a part in how he's being.

Yes, I agree, which means, come the actual arrival of their baby, it might transform how he is feeling (and therefore acting) now

Nicki

scheming_gypsy wrote: »

You're both at fault.

You sound like you'd prefer him to be gay; what with all this being more sensitive to your needs etc... and he could probably do with being a bit less selfish.

Just cook him a nice meal and give him a blow job to apologise.


Quick tip for you.... when you're in labour and doing the deep breaths.... blow your own bloody birthing pool up

It just goes to show bluemonkey that things are never as bad as you think.

You could be married to this joker :eek::eek::eek:...

scheming_gypsy

she wouldn't be in this situation if she was... cos there'd be no kids!!

Peater

Your tale about your evening out makes it clear that there are definatley 2 sides to the story and as he is not to defend himself, i think the women-warriors should calm down a little.

- You go out together.
- You're tired and want to go home, he's having a good time so leave him to it. You ask if he will be back by X, he agrees.
- Still having a good time, he accepts another drink, mindful of upsetting you before he texts to say he'll be a bit late.
- You get upset.

The guy can't win!

But, he needs to stop moping about and get ready for being a dad because if he doesn't throw himself into it, it will suck for him and for you.

Blue_Monkey

But Peater - he said he'd be home by 12. I'm 8.5 months pregnant, and tired most of the time, and asked him not to be late because it wakes me when he comes in. He could've "won" by just coming home when he said he would... But clearly, staying out with his mates and having another beer, disturbing me twice after 12 (ie once by text and then again when he gets in) is just fine and I should've been grateful for him letting me know?! :wall:

Ellejmorgan

Have been in this position with my husband,I already had 2 kids he had none-I had no idea how he was feeling-
The baby before his first was stillborn with my previous partner and I was having a section, I had no idea at the time but he was feeling unloved, and felt like he couldn't protect me.
Men don't have much idea about childbirth, they don't get our maternal feelings,the isolation,the heartburn,not sleeping and everything else-
They are scared that if they get to close they will want to have se* and they know this can cause physical pain.

My hubby didn't talk to me and was an absolutly selfish pig who left me when she was 2 weeks old, I divorced him and gradually he opened up..
Now 6 years on and many attempts at re-unification we are having our 2nd baby on 9/12/11 and he's been the most supportive amazing man ever..

Perhaps saying how you feel isn't what he needs men think differently, I know you are scared but I can promise you a natural birth isn't that bad..
Guys like to fix things, and maybe he doesn't think anything is wrong..
My hubby tells me that sometimes I expect him to know automatically what I need or want so I try to write him lists or notes, he finds this easier and doesn't feel nagged, eg I wrote a note on the fridge saying balloons and chocs when baby comes or even to kiss the wife-It works for him..

Lots of luck hopefully your baby will be on time..