MG - The Matrix Re-wired

greenbee

Memory_Girl wrote: »

No idea - but it is nw in the skip.

BTW "failed"fudge experiments are yummy added to muffins or apple cake ................ waste not want not.

I am now stocked up for a baking day - calories a go go

MG

Dark fudge is fine... Softer and less crumbly than others (might not have boiled it hard enough), and with a treacly flavour. I added brazil nuts to it which help with the excessive sweetness! Final batch has ginger in it, and hopefully will be OK. Crumbs will be saved and used (and NOT eaten absent-mindedly through the day )

Great post Tricia.

Bitsy - I know you're going through a lot of change at the moment. There is space for everyone and all ideas... as many people here have already demonstrated. So asking for input in saving as well as income generation can help not only you, but others.

MG - I think one of the difficult things at this stage (and I think you've probably already addressed this previously with the mentors when discussing travel and speaking engagements) is working out a balance. I find it is very easy to be totally focussed on one thing to the exclusion on everything else and then find that I can't juggle everything (and I don't have the responsibility of kids!). Even within work I find it hard to balance writing, travel, client-facing work, projects with colleagues etc. This time of year tends to be my planning time, and looking at plans so far, I am in serious danger of over-committing myself! So I need to sit back, work out strategies, thing about what I can realistically achieve, plan it and commit to it publicly (I.e. Agree it with my boss...) and then keep my list of potential 'over-achievements' up my sleeve and hope I get a chance to go for it... It's not fun trying to cut things out when I'm so excited about new projects, but if I don't I'll fail, or my personal life will vanish...

Memory_Girl

That sounds very sensible Greenbee - getting a goal that is in balance.

I think my DF status is just hitting me - in the same way after you reach a target weight it takes time to readjust. I have spent so long focussing on decreasing numbers that I need to start look at growing ones again.

Just waiting for the tablet to cool enough to get the final piccie for the recipe - kids are hovering to scrape the pan and spatula (seems like only yesterday it was Mum and I cooking this together)

MG

fantasia322

I dont think that the Matrix as it stands is for me anymore, I understand that people grow and move towards there goals, and that everything evolves and changes. What I did learn from the original threads though was that this whole thing was about abundance, an abundance of everything. Maybe I am being unrealistic and fanciful, but I would wlike an abundance of contentment and happiness in my life.

And recently the focus seems to be about making more and more money. I dont want to be rich, I am more than content as long as I have enough for my needs, food, heat, a roof over my head and love in my life.

That doesnt mean I have no ambition or dreams, it simply means that I will not take unnecessary or foolish gambles. Am so out of my depth with the way this has progressed methinks I need to go back to school :eek:

greenbee

The Matrix is what the people within it make it fantasia. Maybe the people who have ideas that they want to share and discuss are those focussed on making money to provide them with the security they need at the moment - whether to pay off debts or secure their future. But there have been other discussions - like Bitsy's decision to work less, not more, to achieve a better balance for herself and her family; Crickett and her OH focussing on trying for a family and groatie's recent feeling that things are falling into place for the new life she wants for herself.

There may be discussions about making money, but they do tend to be in the context of people finding ways to do this that will bring them fulfilment rather than following conventional paths.

If you feel there should be more discussion of abundance of a non-financial kind, then maybe you could initiate the discussion. There is still positivity here, but of a quiet kind - maybe not so much energy, but people are preparing for Christmas - a time to spend with the people they love, enjoying the type of abundance you suggest. Hence the baking, present making and buying, and spending less time online...

Bitsy_Beans

I have to say fantasia much of what you post I agree with. But in the same vein I agree with much of what Greenbee says too

Karmacat

Fantasia, congratulations for posting something that brought to light what is obviously a big issue thats been around for a while - the elephant in the room, so to speak.

I've been reading this and wondering, wondering, wondering, whether or not to post. Whether to become "involved" again, to whatever tiny extent, in the Matrix, whether to set myself up for what I feel will be a deluge of criticism (no idea if its true that I'd get that, I often feel that way when I pipe up with my two-pennorth).

The other reason I haven't posted anything before now is that I haven't quite found the words, its been more an uneasiness rather than anything else, but I've learned to follow those gut instincts and reason it out later.

So where I've got to is this (and I've no idea if this is the final version of what I'm trying to say, okay? Don't shoot me, in other words).

I think one of the problems is structural. The positivity and working together and support are wonderful, absolutely wonderful. But it isn't The Matrix. Its MG's Matrix, with the focus on one woman. And in the long term, that doesn't work: it develops, or not, on its own. But MG isn't a guru, no one is, she was on here for the same reason as the rest of us, and even while on here has had the odd meltdown like the rest of us (me included, don't worry, anybody looking at my diaries for evidence can find plenty). She mentions above wanting to focus on the blog, but the reality is that there's only one post on there this month, and very little of the "mid-project" photos of the sofa or the clothes that people have been asking for. Which is a shame, because it sounded brilliant, and thats the sort of thing that goes down really well on a blog, brings it to life. I've done that too, by the way - recently gone back to a blog thats got huge posting gaps in, much bigger than MG's.

When I backed away, I didn't post any of that, because I didn't feel the need, and it was really out of kilter with how things were at the time, but if there's a debate going on about the structure and the future of the Matrix, then maybe I can speak up. If I get hammered for it, well, okay, I do, but I was out of here anyway, it'll be upsetting, but thats life.

That said, the Matrix obviously is evolving too, which is a wonderful thing - its only things that are alive that evolve, after all! Its smaller, tighter, with a committed membership, those are good things.

Greenbee makes a really good point when she says that this is the time of year when people focus on family and Christmas (and in spite of posting a long post on a thread I don't usually post on any more, I am too - its my birthday today, and I'm going out tonight, and I need a really slow day because of that, my health is not good during winter. So here I am online). Everything is quieter at the moment.

But Fantasia, whether or not what I've written has any merit or truth at all, your intuition about your own needs and directions is important for you; if there's response on here, and you can grow in the directions you now know you want, then thats great. If it doesn't feel right for you, then it doesn't, and no amount of wishing will make it so.

If people find this post really objectionable, please request me to delete it, and I will, no problem, I'll have said it, and thats enough.

Lara44

Hi All

I am still here reading daily, and being inspired by everyone very much (and if I may pay a few particular compliments recently by Groatie's very thoughtful words, and Greenbee's great progress).

Like others I think that change is not necessarily bad. In a way it is wonderful that the thread has become quite quiet because it means that all these plans that people have had are being put into action. MG is forging ahead with her own DIY for her moneymaking plan - which is absolutely challenging. Do I feel bad she doesn't post work in progress pictures? No! I am so happy for her to be realising her dream. She might have equity in her house, but she also has other challenges such as young children that place their own restrictions. FW's sabbatical and blogging are another example - she is just a furnace of productivity. Of course I miss her thread posts a lot but I am so delighted for her and inspired by her wonderful progress. I also really enjoy reading Dora's posts too - you are seriously doing great in your job! Well done!! There are so many little victories being posted here each day to take something great from, and daily TADAs from Claire. And there are other members dealing with difficult work stresses and bereavements, but I see these women taking step after step towards what they want and need, standing up for themselves, negotiating obstacles with grace. I think that is extremely inspiring. I hope to see more posts from lovely people like Clootie, Mrs Moo, Bitsy, Lucielle, MOAM and others too as we start to come out of deep freeze / Christmas hiatus.

This Matrix thing is something we do for ourselves and for each other. Fantastia, physically only you can post what you're up to and the progress you're making. That can be something as small and simple as emptying the dishwasher. From my experience there is always someone who gives a friendly or helpful word, and I would certainly love to hear what you're up to. I know I have taken a lot from the support I have had here.

Anyway I hope everyone is enjoying some leisure time with friends and family

Lara44

Happy Birthday KC!! :beer:

fantasia322

Karmacat - I didnt want to quote your whole post, but you have eloquently expressed exactly what I was trying to say.
I can only add that the Matrix thing of supporting its members and the Make do and Mend philosophy were what originally attracted me in the 1st place, I gained so much in the way of on-line friendship, a lot of which spilled into RL, and it worked for me. But what goes on on the 'other-side' now is beyond me because I had a computer crash ages ago and havent been able to access it since.
The parts of MG's blog made fantastic reading, especially her patchwork sofa's, the creativity of cooking, store cupboards and stuff was so relateable and readable, as was the challenge of becoming mortgage free in 3 years, but the stuff thats in there now about decluttering, is all recycled stuff that I've read before.

People do change, and evolve, what I am questioning is, do I belong in a Matrix that is moving in a direction that I am not?. Answers on a postcard please .
It will resolve itself.

greenbee

Fantasia - the Matrix is here for you, and it will always go in different directions depending on what people ask of it, so if you need certain things from it you need to ask for them or they may not be there. I'm pretty sure the make-do-and-mend, store cupboards and cooking will still be part of it, but we can't expect MG to provide it all... So maybe others need to bring their stories and questions in.

As for the blog, I assumed MG was reusing the posts so that there was something to put on at a time when she was busy. She's had a lot of demands on her time, and is obviously learning (as FW did) that a blog takes a level of commitment in order for it to achieve what she needs. It's difficult to discuss this much here as MSE doesn't like people promoting their blogs anymore than it likes them promoting their businesses, but I'm sure MG would welcome comments/ideas/support by PM. Bear in mind though that she may not be able to action them instantly - she is obviously prepping and planning stuff and working out how to balance that with all her other commitments. I'm sure that it time it will run much more smoothly and grow into what MG needs it to be to help her achieve her aims for her family.

As Lara says, some people are quiet because they are moving ahead with things that the matrix inspired them to do, and they know they can come back for support. For those who are still working things out, remember if you want help or support or feedback, you have to ask... None of us here has a crystal ball or a magic wand, despite the number of times one person's posts resonate with others.