Teacher scared my son

zenmaster

meritaten wrote: »

is this for real? a teacher takes a child out of class and shouts at him (is THAT professional behaviour - I hope not). The child is distressed and denys any wrongdoing, and his mum posts on here for advice - and all YOU can say is 'The teacher is right, the child did something wrong, SUCK it UP? the mum will only annoy the staff if she questions this .................'
a MUMs JOB is to look after their kids - if that involves questioning the school about an incident, and NOT taking one teachers word for it...........so be it!
Its just too bad if you all think that questioning the school is beyond the pale! Parents have THIER own kids interests at heart! Seems to me this parent needs to know what happened.

Nowhere, apart from this imagined scenario

Bigdaddy77 wrote: »

OK same scene in your office boss comes up to you gets right up close in your face and starts shouting would you like it. I dont even do that to my own children. Yes im probably overreacting but I have every right hes my son. In the morning Ill have calmed down and will mention it to the the teacher. Thanks I was on a rant.

has it been implied that the teacher shouted at, or otherwise unreasonably treated, the child.

You are making things up and laying blame as a result. Lynch mob mentality.

I am not a teacher but I did go to school and got told off on many occasions. Sometimes unjustly (in my opinion) but mostly banged to rights.

OP - Get to the bottom of it if you can but otherwise accept that these things can happen. Be thankful that we no longer have corporal punishment.

Poppy9

My main concern would my child being accused of being a bully and I had not been made aware of the situation.

I think you are right to want to speak to a senior teacher who will hopefully be impartial and do a full fact finding exercise. Your child might be in the right or wrong, but you need all the facts before complaining.


OP you need to be calm and open to the possibilty that your child was in the wrong, and hopefully the school will be equally open to the possibility that the teacher had the wrong child. Mistakes happen.

I was a parent who trusted teachers to be in the right when disciplining my child at school but my DD was bullied by her teacher in Y5. At first I dismissed DD complaints of his excessive shouting at her directly etc. but when I met him properly for first time at parents evening I realised he didn't even know who my child was. The things he was saying caused me to say to him "I don't recognise the child you are talking about" as it just wasn't her! He was rude and patronising and sought to put me down as a parent who believed their child could do no wrong.

Things did not improve and his school report for DD showed his true colours. All his put downs and factual errors were disproved by his own records. I knew I wouldn't remain calm as I was upset that a teacher could be so vindictive to my child made worse that I was approached by other parents to ask if I had an issue with this teacher as their children had mentioned it. OH who is much calmer and can detach himself came into school with me for next parents evening where we first saw teacher and then Headteacher who I had made aware of my concerns.

The Head was fantastic and frank and honest in his findings of the situation and I trusted him to deal with the situation. There was no brushing over the incident, it was dealt with.

My only regret is that I didn't listen properly to my DD earlier so she would have avoided the stress. Even now almost 8 years on I get upset when I remember how badly she suffered under him and I was slow to act.

Welshwoofs

I honestly think that people are losing their backbone. What's the big deal about being shouted at by a teacher? IF it was 'shouting' of course. I was at school in the 80s and if all we got was shouted at I'd have considered school a walk-over.....annoy a teacher back then and you'd generally get a board rubber sailing past your ear, made to crouch in a corner in a 'stress position' with your hands on your head or get escorted out to the corridor by your ear. Sometimes the teacher had got the right culprit and sometimes they got the wrong one....which isn't unreasonable considering they had 30 kids all intent on whispering and passing notes the moment the teacher turned to the blackboard.

The thing is; if parents leap to defend their children every time so much as a raised voice is directed their child's way (deserved or not) then what will happen is that those children will enter the adult world as emotional jellies, unable to cope with the realities of life once Mummy and Daddy aren't around to protect them.

Oldernotwiser

Welshwoofs wrote: »

The thing is; if parents leap to defend their children every time so much as a raised voice is directed their child's way (deserved or not) then what will happen is that those children will enter the adult world as emotional jellies, unable to cope with the realities of life once Mummy and Daddy aren't around to protect them.

You've been reading the Student Board again!

January20

Bigdaddy77 wrote: »

I will agree to disagree with some of you, I know my son is telling the truth and no I dont always take his side because I am well aware he isnt perfect. I dont have a problem with him being told off. But I do when on another childs sayso he has got into trouble and I believe he didnt do it. Also telling a child off doesnt have to mean frightening them. I know this teacher on a presonal level as she is my cousins friend so im not out for her. I want to protect my son. He was very distressed and Im expecting trouble tomorrow morning trying to get him into school. All this because he was apparently shouting in the corridor coming in from playtime. Anyway I was looking for opinions I guess im in the minority for having faith in my son

You may think he is telling the truth in this instance, and indeed he may be telling the truth, but remember children lie, and that includes your child!.

January20

Welshwoofs wrote: »

The thing is; if parents leap to defend their children every time so much as a raised voice is directed their child's way (deserved or not) then what will happen is that those children will enter the adult world as emotional jellies, unable to cope with the realities of life once Mummy and Daddy aren't around to protect them.

Actually, Welshwoofs I think you have a point. My dd started work full time in a new pub a couple of months ago and she has had big problems adapting to the way things work because people aren't nice. The boss isn't nice. The deputy manager is not nice. They want the job done, and done well and bark orders, and shout if it's not done. Whether this is right or wrong is another debate, but my dd has been used to 13 years of schooling where everyone was nice and understanding and working life is not the same. Mollycoddling children at school doesn't prepare them for real life and perhaps it's why so many people suffer from stress and such conditions.

WolfSong2000

Will start off my saying I'm not a teacher, but will say so I feel sorry for the amount of rubbish they have to put up with from parents who asssume their little angel can do no wrong. Teachers should be able to discipline children (within reason!) otherwise the whole system falls apart.

As other have said, school life should be preparing you for the real world where people aren't always nice, and aren't 100% right all of the time. I had teachers to made it perfectly clear they didn't like me for whatever reason - one excellent example being my form tutor who I had my final year in Sixth form. Had never had anything to do with her before, and only saw her for 15 mins every morning for registration. I was a model pupil, well behaved, never in trouble, good grades, etc, but for reasons known only to herself she decided she didn't like me. When it came time to write personal statements and go over them with the tutor she looked at me and told me I shouldb'r bother applying to uni because I was "too stupid". I wa sshocked to hear her say it, but I didn't run off crying to tell my mum and dad. I simply thought "I'll show you, you stupid cow" and now, at 25 I am about to graduate with a masters degree.

I had similar issues with teachers right the way through my schooling - some I got on very well with, some I didn't. Same with kids. I was bullied an awful lot (nothing hugely serious, but it continued for many years), and as long as it's not getting physical, my own personal view is that you suck it up and deal with it. It taught me a lot of valuable lessons for which I am now very grateful (even if I wasn't so much at the time. lol). I just kept my head down, worked, and focused on the positives - e.g. my friends and the teachers who I got on really well with - rather than the negatives.

If I'd gone running to my parents every time something went wrong, what would I have learned?

CH27

OP did you go & speak to the teacher this morning?

Welshwoofs

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

You've been reading the Student Board again!

Thankfully, no! I have a feeling I'd get very, very jaded if I did

littlerat

All this could be looked at from both sides, and nobody seems to actually be doing that. It could be the child was doing something wrong, but it could also just as well be the teacher.

Crazy thing I know, but not all teachers go into teaching because they're wonderful people who want to teach the next generation. Some are jerks, fact of life.


Also my parents taught me that I didn't have to BLINDLY respect authority, that if I was punished for something I didn't do to tell them - and funnily enough, I don't have a criminal record, an ASBO, or any record of behaviour problems. Telling children that if an authority figure tells you off to accept it no matter what is just ridiculous. What's next - you're doing 58 in a 60, a cop pulls you over and says you were doing 80 and you blindly admit it and take the penalty, as they're the authority figure?
God knows what happens when they want a confession for a murder!


Ok yes that's extreme, but assuming all 8 year olds are incapable of telling the truth, that all teachers and other authority figures are saints to be respected at all costs and that punishments should be taken whether deserved or not is plain ridiculous.