Teacher scared my son

meritaten

jamespir wrote: »

sorry but that attitude its little wonder kids have no respect for authority these days

What attitude? wanting to know what actually happened and NOT taking the teachers word for it?

KNOWING you have a truthful child and what they say is not what the teacher says?

from personal experience, my grand daughter was accused of theft twice in school - she was dragged round the school and shouted at and told off by all the staff including the caretaker! it was both times later found that she was innocent! another child in class was guilty.
She is ADHD/borderline Aspergers (perhaps why she was no1 suspect?) - but, she has no concept of lying - she just doesnt. but each time a teacher swore that she MUST have guilty - so excuse me if I dont think Teachers are 'they who MUST be believed'!
I think that to get at the truth - questions must be asked and answered!

jamespir

meritaten wrote: »

What attitude? wanting to know what actually happened and NOT taking the teachers word for it?

KNOWING you have a truthful child and what they say is not what the teacher says?

from personal experience, my grand daughter was accused of theft twice in school - she was dragged round the school and shouted at and told off by all the staff including the caretaker! it was both times later found that she was innocent! another child in class was guilty.
She is ADHD/borderline Aspergers (perhaps why she was no1 suspect?) - but, she has no concept of lying - she just doesnt. but each time a teacher swore that she MUST have guilty - so excuse me if I dont think Teachers are 'they who MUST be believed'!
I think that to get at the truth - questions must be asked and answered!

it happpens a lot every child has a concept of lying

but the op hasnt got the teachers version yet she only has her sons version

ive an 8 year old(he has a type of autism ) and sometimes even though ive watched him do something hell point blankly deny he had anything to do with it

GobbledyGook

meritaten wrote: »

What attitude? wanting to know what actually happened and NOT taking the teachers word for it?

KNOWING you have a truthful child and what they say is not what the teacher says?

from personal experience, my grand daughter was accused of theft twice in school - she was dragged round the school and shouted at and told off by all the staff including the caretaker! it was both times later found that she was innocent! another child in class was guilty.
She is ADHD/borderline Aspergers (perhaps why she was no1 suspect?) - but, she has no concept of lying - she just doesnt. but each time a teacher swore that she MUST have guilty - so excuse me if I dont think Teachers are 'they who MUST be believed'!
I think that to get at the truth - questions must be asked and answered!

Going into a school demanding an apology is not asking a question.

It's assuming the teacher is wrong. I KNOW that my daughter is a well behaved child and if she got rowed for something and she was adamant she was innocent I'd ASK the question.

I wouldn't go into the school 'all guns blazing' and demand an apology.

There are ways and means of doing things. If you show a school's staff a few manners and politeness then you'll usually find they're much more keen to help. Getting their backs up by storming in and accusing their teacher of terrifying your child just because of two kids in her class is not the way to get their best co-operation.

BTW I don't think it's just schools that this is happening in. I just think people are getting ruder. Asking a question is more than fair enough as long as you ask with the manners and politeness you'd expect to be shown to you.

JC9297

jamespir wrote: »

it happpens a lot every child has a concept of lying

but the op hasnt got the teachers version yet she only has her sons version

ive an 8 year old(he has a type of autism ) and sometimes even though ive watched him do something hell point blankly deny he had anything to do with it

No, every child does not have a concept of lying, many children with ASD and/or learning disabilities do not. However this is not relevant to the OP.

I think the OP should speak to son's class teacher and ask him/her about the incident in the first instance, just explain that son was very upset and that he felt he had not done anything wrong.

RadoJo

Kids also need to learn that sometimes the wrong people get blamed for doing something they haven't - it's not always anyone's fault in particular, but it's not realistic to expect teachers to get it right EVERY time when they have 30 kids to keep an eye on, and sometimes the wrong child is implicated. Having their parent's believe them is a comfort, but having a teacher apologise for disciplining them is an unrealistic expectation unless further, solid proof emerges that acquits him, and isn't necessarily worth pursuing no matter how 'fair' it may seem to one party.

rinabean

I think it's probably just a misunderstanding, as others have said. But don't think that teachers would never just pick on a kid for no reason. I had a teacher in year 6 who absolutely despised me. I have no idea why. Looking back, I see her as a pathetic !!!!!, taking her personal problems out like that on an innocent child. But at the time, well, I was just a kid! And she was fine with everyone else, so I don't think anyone would have pegged her as a "rogue teacher".

Also, OP's son could be telling what he believes to be the truth but still be wrong. It's normal for children to exaggerate things and end up thinking that that's what really happened. They also adjust what they're saying depending on your reaction. Maybe by "shouted" he only meant that he was being told off until he saw OP's shock at the idea of an adult yelling at a child. Going into the school to calmly to speak with someone about it will sort things out.

Welshwoofs

Bigdaddy77 wrote: »

Sneezyboots I expect an apology, teachers shouldnt take one childs version over another if they werent there. The only difference is these boys were in her class

Dear oh dear. I feel so sorry for teachers today if they have to put up with paper-skinned parents marching into school every 5 minutes because they feel somebody spoke 'out of turn' to their precious little angels.

tankgirl1

Krikey!

I haven't read the whole thread. What year is OP's son in?

OP has he ever been in trouble before?

I have experience of 'gung ho' teachers - thankfully never an issue with my DS, but they are out there.

If my son was upset by a teacher, I would be wanting to talk to the DH or HT too, as you can bet your bottom dollar that they have already heard the teachers POV.

tankgirl1

rinabean wrote: »

I think it's probably just a misunderstanding, as others have said. But don't think that teachers would never just pick on a kid for no reason. I had a teacher in year 6 who absolutely despised me. I have no idea why. Looking back, I see her as a pathetic !!!!!, taking her personal problems out like that on an innocent child. But at the time, well, I was just a kid! And she was fine with everyone else, so I don't think anyone would have pegged her as a "rogue teacher".

Also, OP's son could be telling what he believes to be the truth but still be wrong. It's normal for children to exaggerate things and end up thinking that that's what really happened. They also adjust what they're saying depending on your reaction. Maybe by "shouted" he only meant that he was being told off until he saw OP's shock at the idea of an adult yelling at a child. Going into the school to calmly to speak with someone about it will sort things out.

Agreed on all points

I had a teacher in year 7 who was an ex-nun! She knew my family (I am the last of six) and took every opportunity to put me down due to the fact I was a chatterbox/know it all (in her opinion) - she even slagged off my parents and siblings in a maths class! Up come was she resigned shortly after I finally told my parents about her classroom antics!!! HT made a very sincere apology for her behaviour.

I left with 9 GCSE's all grade A-B

Not so great teachers are out there, but IMHO you need to approach the HT first. They can get both sides of the story and make an informed decision.

However I do know of tons and tons of teachers who are just bl00dy awesome and brilliant!

Oldernotwiser

Welshwoofs wrote: »

Dear oh dear. I feel so sorry for teachers today if they have to put up with paper-skinned parents marching into school every 5 minutes because they feel somebody spoke 'out of turn' to their precious little angels.

It's amazing that they have any time to teach with parents dropping in every time that their little darlings are told off!