Should I invite parents for Xmas?

Metranil_Vavin

To be it seems a bit mean spirited not to invite them.

I can understand it if you don't get on, but from what you have written here that doesn't seem to be the case..?

I dunno..I just think that I would invite my parents, particularly if my either one of them was going to be working so not have much time to enjoy much of Christmas.

ANd wouldn't the kids perhaps like to spend some time on Christmas day with their grandparents....?

victory

If I knew how you felt about me coming for xmas, I would neither come for xmas or any other day, january is right , there is a lot of bitterness in the few words you write and this is much much more deeper than whether your mum empties the dishwasher at 5am or not, you need to address why you are so unhappy, resentful and not the least bit in tune with a very hard working mum that finishes at 11am and then has to consider making a whole xmas dinner that you would not automatically help her out so she knew she had nothing to worry about

CH27

Abbafan1972 wrote: »

My mom works in a nursing home as a cleaner and this year she's got to work Xmas Eve, Xmas Day, Monday and Tuesday.

On Xmas day she finishes at 11.00am. When she was telling me about it, she said. "So I suppose I'll have to cook dinner when I get in from work".

I usually get a Turkey from work, which is a gift from the MD. They are nice ones too. My Mom said to me "are you getting your free Turkey this year?" My Mom's words, I don't class it as free, I class it as a gift.

Anyway, It sounds as if she's poaching for an invite for Xmas day. It will just be me, hubby and 2 kids on the day.

So should I invite them? The reason why I'm asking this is because last year she wasn't working and they booked to go out for dinner both Xmas Day and Boxing Day without giving us a second thought. :mad:

Sounds like you want the best of both worlds.
You want to be invited by them when they do something nice but won't put yourself out for them for a couple of hours.

dirtysexymonkey

tanith wrote: »

If you have to ask the question then don't bother , sounds to me like your Mum could do with someone to cook for her if she's working half the day..but its your choice.

to be fair to the op her mother didnt want anything to do with her daughter for the last two xmases when she had others to cook for her then too.

sounds like her mother just doesnt want to cook for xmas but doesnt want to pay someone else to cook for her so is trying to guilt trip her daughter into doing it for her.

and for the people asking if the kids would want to see their grandparents - what about the other years when they went out and didnt bother to invite their kids and grandkids?

i cant imagine not spending an xmas with my parents and grandparents, but im not as blind as to think that its the same with everyone.

whatever you decide op make sure its the right decision for you - dont let anyone guilt you into doing something that you dont want to.:)

neverdespairgirl

I most certainly would invite them.

Joto_2

Maybe they went out last year because they couldn't face Christmas Day alone with just the 2 of them?

I think you need to sort out whatever problems you have with your parents.

I think an awful lot of people spend Christmas with parents/inlaws etc when they would choose to be somewhere else - but Christmas is meant to be about families and it's our time to give a little back?(or that's my view anyway) - you'll have lots of Christmases when your parents won't be around

What about the rest of the year? Are your parent there when you need a babysitter or help with the children?

I think you will find we all have things that we dont like that our parents do, just as I'm sure you do things they wouldn't choose.

revpeachy

Abbafan1972 wrote: »

So should I invite them? The reason why I'm asking this is because last year she wasn't working and they booked to go out for dinner both Xmas Day and Boxing Day without giving us a second thought. :mad:

That's the Christmas Spirit!!

And also, we no longer see hubby's parents, so don't need to consider them.

Spotting a pattern!!!

Wow...or should I say Bah Humbug!! aren't you full of Christmas Cheer!! You never know maybe when you're older your own kids grown up you 'll be in the same boat as your mother and will you be treated the same??

You need to give yourself a shake - your parents are not going to be around forever and its one meal, one day, one moment to stop and be a family!! Share the love!!!! (and port!)

pelirocco

I wouldnt dream of not inviting them , When my mum was married to my step father they liked to have Christmas day on their own and we always went on Boxing day , shes has been on her own for a few years now and I certainly would hate not to have her with us at Christmas , I wish my dad and step mum would come too , but for various reasons they wouldnt travel ( age and health) , my sister goes to them ( she hasnt any kids or grandkids and my dad lives 4 hrs away from us ....we do visit them just before btw ) .

I find it very hard to understand why families dont get on , I didnt have the best of times growing up dealing with parents divorce , re-marriages and the issues that created but thats all water under the bridge now and to me family is the most important thing

Mupette

I'd be upset if my son when he is older wouldn't want me around at christmas, i'd be upset that i have upset him and his partner

dirtysexymonkey

Joto wrote: »

Maybe they went out last year because they couldn't face Christmas Day alone with just the 2 of them?

so instead of inviting their children and grandchildren to join them, they ignored them and went out alone so they didnt have to be alone?

right... that makes all kinds of sense. two years running!