Should I invite parents for Xmas?

pelirocco

aliasojo wrote: »

I think you're being very unfair dsm. :undecided

I think most Mums would expect their offspring to offer an invite in this situation.

I also think that none of us know the background nor the reason why Mum went out herself last year. It could be anything from a simple 'want to spend the day by ourselves this year' to a reaction to previous family 'stuff'. Who knows.

DSM is a troll who likes to post whatever they think will cause most annoyance

dirtysexymonkey

Marisco wrote: »

It's pretty obvious the mum hasn't got much money, I don't think anyone who is well off is going to be cleaning a nursing home all over the holidays! And would you feel like starting to cook after putting in a shift? It's one day fgs, I just hope mum doesn't read this thread, and finds out what daughter feels about her!! If I thought my daughter felt like this about me, I'd tell her to stick her dinner where the sun don't shine!!!

she had enough money to eat out for the last two years.

maybe the op has even less money - bringing up a disabled child isnt cheap you know! maybe the op wouldve gladly invited her mother but maybe her mother is selfish? she certainly sounds it!

dirtysexymonkey

pelirocco wrote: »

DSM is a troll who likes to post whatever they think will cause most annoyance

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

if you say so dear.

aliasojo

pelirocco wrote: »

DSM is a troll who likes to post whatever they think will cause most annoyance

Lol, maybe so but I have seen the odd reasonable comment from dsm before so I will continue to reply reasonably in return.

dirtysexymonkey

aliasojo wrote: »

I think you're being very unfair dsm. :undecided

I think most Mums would expect their offspring to offer an invite in this situation.

I also think that none of us know the background nor the reason why Mum went out herself last year. It could be anything from a simple 'want to spend the day by ourselves this year' to a reaction to previous family 'stuff'. Who knows.

but equally isnt it fair that most children would expect to be invited to their parents for christmas dinner/for a christmas day meal out? and were talking two years when the parents didnt want to spend xmas day with their daughter - can you really blame the daughter for resenting being used because she will save her parents the cost of a meal out?

for those of us who have wonderful relationships with our parents, we should remember that not everyone is so lucky.

Marisco

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

she had enough money to eat out for the last two years.

maybe the op has even less money - bringing up a disabled child isnt cheap you know! maybe the op wouldve gladly invited her mother but maybe her mother is selfish? she certainly sounds it!

Where in the op does it say she has a disabled child???? As always, we have to take posts on face value, but in this instance reading the post, I'd say it was the op who was selfish. Of course there could be more to it, but unless the op elaborates, we have to go on what is written. It's obvious you read the post differently to me.

aliasojo

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

but equally isnt it fair that most children would expect to be invited to their parents for christmas dinner/for a christmas day meal out? and were talking two years when the parents didnt want to spend xmas day with their daughter - can you really blame the daughter for resenting being used because she will save her parents the cost of a meal out?

for those of us who have wonderful relationships with our parents, we should remember that not everyone is so lucky.

Hey I hated my Father's guts and shed no tears when he died. I left home at 16 to get away from my folks so I'm well versed in not getting on with family.

I do see your point but I think there is so much more to the way the OP feels than just dinner.

Xmas dinner in a lot of families isn't a 'set' event that is repeated year after year. We don't usually have family round but this year we are. I don't necessarily see that not having gone to Mum's last year is a reason to not invite her this year.

krlyr

OP, you're the only one who knows exactly what the relationship between you/your family and your parents is like. Invite her if you want, don't invite her if you don't want. I will be spending Christmas with family, my mum and stepdad, and will enjoy being around them. However, I haven't spoken to my dad in 7 years and have no intention to even send him a card. Some may call it harsh but I have my reasons and I don't consider him worth wasting a card on. Family is more than just blood, so if you don't feel that close with your mum and don't want to spend Christmas with her, that's your decision, don't feel like you have to have her over because she's your mother and that's the "proper" thing to do. If you get on with her but can't stick her for a whole day then arrange for her to come over just for dinner, say you have family things planned in the day but she's welcome to pop over for dinner at 4/5/6/whenever. No one can know what's right for you because everyone values relationships or particular relatives differently.

dirtysexymonkey

Marisco wrote: »

Where in the op does it say she has a disabled child???? As always, we have to take posts on face value, but in this instance reading the post, I'd say it was the op who was selfish. Of course there could be more to it, but unless the op elaborates, we have to go on what is written. It's obvious you read the post differently to me.

absolutely.

re: child - i remember one of the ops previous posts. just thought it was fair to point out after someone else decided the mother works so hard and so her daughter was obligated to provide her with an xmas lunch. bringing up a disabled child is much more difficult than cleaning !!!!!!!

pelirocco

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

but equally isnt it fair that most children would expect to be invited to their parents for christmas dinner/for a christmas day meal out? and were talking two years when the parents didnt want to spend xmas day with their daughter - can you really blame the daughter for resenting being used because she will save her parents the cost of a meal out?

for those of us who have wonderful relationships with our parents, we should remember that not everyone is so lucky.

Maybe there would be more wonderful relationships if people werent so keen to store up every little slight ( real or imagined ) .Life isnt all about keeping a score and to fall out with your parents because they spent 2 Christmas dinners elsewhere is such a waste of emotions .