Would you sell DD's old toys on ebay for new ones for Christmas?

pinkclouds

newcook wrote: »

Anyone else got a headache?!?!!?

So are these presents a kind of ‘dear me, happy xmas, love from me’?!? but she wanted them to be a surprise?!

If it was me I would be telling her ‘you have £150 from your sales – I would suggest you use £50 for presents for family, put £50 aside if you want to go shopping in the sales and £50 in your savings’.
Its quite possible that some of what she wants on her list that she doesn’t get for xmas can be bought in the sales.

You can then also use the £20/30 you normally give her to buy xmas presents to buy something else – put it towards xmas dinner or chocolates for you all to share or even a family game to play!
If she moans about you not giving her any money just remind her that she has plenty of money!

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

I understand your point of view entirely and have several thoughts about the various comments you mentioned, but it sounds like you said you would give her the money for items sold, so it was always going to be her money. It sounds like there's really no debate, as hard as that is to accept.

I'd transfer her the profits and try to feel good about having the clear out. As an upside, you might have started the ball rolling for her to declutter regularly.

Agree with the above.

74jax

newcook wrote: »

Anyone else got a headache?!?!!?

So are these presents a kind of ‘dear me, happy xmas, love from me’?!? but she wanted them to be a surprise?! Yes but they obviously wouldn't say Dear DD love DD, I would have maybe put them in a sack, I don't really know to be honest.

If it was me I would be telling her ‘you have £150 from your sales – I would suggest you use £50 for presents for family, put £50 aside if you want to go shopping in the sales and £50 in your savings’.
Its quite possible that some of what she wants on her list that she doesn’t get for xmas can be bought in the sales. She is using the 150.00 to get items off the list, only now she is picking what she wants rather than not knowing.

You can then also use the £20/30 you normally give her to buy xmas presents to buy something else – put it towards xmas dinner or chocolates for you all to share or even a family game to play!
If she moans about you not giving her any money just remind her that she has plenty of money! I have money for other things, DD likes buying presents, and loves it when we open them and loves seeing out faces. I don't mind giving her money for this, I know others disagree.

Plus, she always gets me slippers and has really good taste!

Lunar_Eclipse

74jax wrote: »

She gave me her Christmas list and the money from selling her old things was going towards the list.

Ok, I've now read a very different version of what the toys were being sold for; she asked you to put it towards her Christmas presents. Actually, did she really ask or did she agree to a suggestion put to her, perhaps by you, momentarily not realising the value of the items being sold?

And now she's changed her mind ... and you've already spent some of the money. Tbh, if this is true, I'd just tell her! Give her what's left of the money, but tell her you've already bought two of the surprises. No big deal, this is simply what can happen when you change your mind.

rachbc

If it was her stuff of course she shoudl get the money. My son and hubby sorted a load of stuff for CEX last night - some if it is stuff that DS got given for presents, other stuff he as bought with his pocket money - but HIS stuff, HE gets the money. How would you feel if your daughter raided your jewellery box to sell some scrap gold to buy your presents?

74jax

Ravenlady wrote: »

You asked your DD what she wanted to get rid of, she gave you some stuff but you decided to take more of her stuff like games and dvds that she didnt ask you to sell? I am correct?No, she decided to sell 8 items and keep the money (she listed, photo'd and will post), she then said for me to sell the other items for her and buy a selection off a list she gave me not knowing which i'd chosen. I stupidly ordered two off the list before items sold. Now she wants the money for the items sold. I have given her the money, but now am left having to pay for the items off the list.

Of course she should keep the money, she didnt ask you to sell those things in the first place. Maybe you should have sold your own stuff if you are that worried about being able to afford christmas.

But she did ask me to sell the items?

2gorgeousgirls

Definitely agree with OH on this one. If these items were DD's then the money is hers.

It doesn't seem right that the OP sells her DDs things for the OP to then buy DD's Christmas pressies. DD is, in effect, buying her own Christmas presents!:eek:

74jax

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

Ok, I've now read a very different version of what the toys were being sold for; she asked you to put it towards her Christmas presents. Actually, did she really ask or did she agree to a suggestion put to her, perhaps by you, momentarily not realising the value of the items being sold?

So what's happened now? Has she changed her mind and wants to keep the money? (If you haven't spent it, I think that's her prerogative.)

She asked for the money (can't blame her when she saw how much it was).

I transferred her the money.

HOWEVER, i have already ordered (though not arrived) 2 items that the money was going to be used for.

onlyroz

CountingPennies wrote: »

Wow... I must be a terrible mother. I sell my kids clothes to buy new ones once they have outgrown them. Someone call social services :cool:

I think there's a difference between selling old clothes to buy new ones, and selling old Christmas presents to buy new ones.

moomoomama27

I'm lost!

I would really like to offer some help, but I don't know what to say because this thread has changed so many times!

What I'm understanding is that your DD sold her stuff, and wants you to buy things from a list and give them to her now, so it's a surprise, however you have already bought things from that list?

Firstly why don;t you just buy the things from her list that you havn't already bought? Secondly, if it's toys and they were given to her as a present, they are hers,the money should be hers at the point of sale, not to go towards somehitng that you would have had to get had she not sold her belongings. For me it would be an extra!

My son sold all his duplo not long ago, it was all goven to him as presents, he then bought lego with it as it was hi property he sold.

Clothes are different.

bestpud

74jax wrote: »

She asked for the money (can't blame her when she saw how much it was).

I transferred her the money.

HOWEVER, i have already ordered (though not arrived) 2 items that the money was going to be used for.

Honestly, I think you may as well give up, as people are not reading the thread properly now!

You're going to be getting these misinformed, knee-jerk responses all day!

No point going over it again and again as you will frazzle yourself!

Those of us who have read it properly know where you are coming from, if that's any help!