Would you sell DD's old toys on ebay for new ones for Christmas?

Ravenlady_2

If your DD was 5 I cant see a problem but as she is 13 I would be mortified if my mother took my old things, sold them and wanted to keep the money (even though it would be for christmas) I would felt almost as if I had been stolen from.

They are her belongings, not saying that a younger kid doesnt have belongings but they have such a higher turn over of toys and probably wont remember a week later.

Gavin83

She should get to keep the money. They're her items to sell and therefore she should be able to spend the profit on what she wants. I certainly wouldn't appreciate it if people felt they could sell my belongings and keep the money.

However if you can't afford to buy her certain presents for Christmas then don't. Live within your means and buy her what you can out of the money you can afford. If she wants something else she can buy it out of her own money.

74jax

74jax wrote: »

I had huge moral dilemmas over selling two coats of hers that she no longer wears and using the money to buy a new coat for her (read about that as an MSE on here somewhere) but she got the money for the coats in the end.

CountingPennies wrote: »

Wow... I must be a terrible mother. I sell my kids clothes to buy new ones once they have outgrown them. Someone call social services :cool:

OMG I didn't mean that at all. I only gave her the money as OH said the coats were hers. If he hadn't have said that, then I hold my hands up and say I would have most definitely put that money towards a new coat for her.

newcook

Anyone else got a headache?!?!!?

So are these presents a kind of ‘dear me, happy xmas, love from me’?!? but she wanted them to be a surprise?!

If it was me I would be telling her ‘you have £150 from your sales – I would suggest you use £50 for presents for family, put £50 aside if you want to go shopping in the sales and £50 in your savings’.
Its quite possible that some of what she wants on her list that she doesn’t get for xmas can be bought in the sales.

You can then also use the £20/30 you normally give her to buy xmas presents to buy something else – put it towards xmas dinner or chocolates for you all to share or even a family game to play!
If she moans about you not giving her any money just remind her that she has plenty of money!

Lunar_Eclipse

74jax wrote: »

I asked DD if she had anything she wanted to sell for money for Christmas, and she picked a few things for me to put on ebay and give her the money.

I understand your point of view entirely and have several thoughts about the various comments you mentioned, but it sounds like you said you would give her the money for items sold, so it was always going to be her money. It sounds like there's really no debate, as hard as that is to accept.

I'd transfer her the profits and try to feel good about having the clear out. As an upside, you might have started the ball rolling for her to declutter regularly.

It's unfortunate that you didn't suggest she sell the items herself, so that she did all the leg work, but earnt the money in return. I know a child who has been selling used toys and clothes on Ebay, doing all the work themselves (photos, description, managing questions, billing, posting etc) since she was 10 or 11. I still haven't mastered it!

74jax

Ravenlady wrote: »

If your DD was 5 I cant see a problem but as she is 13 I would be mortified if my mother took my old things, sold them and wanted to keep the money (even though it would be for christmas) I would felt almost as if I had been stolen from.

Gavin83 wrote: »

She should get to keep the money. They're her items to sell and therefore she should be able to spend the profit on what she wants. I certainly wouldn't appreciate it if people felt they could sell my belongings and keep the money.

However if you can't afford to buy her certain presents for Christmas then don't. Live within your means and buy her what you can out of the money you can afford. If she wants something else she can buy it out of her own money.

I think the most popular opinion here is that I should not have said I would get the stuff off the list and let her buy them herself. I just liked her idea of her not knowing what she wanted.

I will add again, I didn't sell her stuff for ME to keep the money. DD said for me to surprise her with a selection of things off a list. She could just have easily said she would have the money and buy them herself. IT WAS HER CHOICE not too. She wanted a surprise.

The money was NOT for me.

Ravenlady_2

I have just properly read the actual OP now I dont have a baby trying to type for me.

You asked your DD what she wanted to get rid of, she gave you some stuff but you decided to take more of her stuff like games and dvds that she didnt ask you to sell? I am correct?

Of course she should keep the money, she didnt ask you to sell those things in the first place. Maybe you should have sold your own stuff if you are that worried about being able to afford christmas.

savingssaver

deffinately, its like recycling

pinkclouds

74jax wrote: »

I trying to say (not very well) I have money to buy her christmas present with and know what i want to get her, but now i've ordered some off her list thinking the ebay money would cover it, I will now be using my money aside for christmas and as I'm on half pay i can't make it up any way. Even that doesn't make sense, so I think I give in......

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

easily solved then - send back/cancel the ones that youve ordered from her list, and get her what you were planning to get her originally. simples.

bestpud wrote: »

The OP would only have been in the wrong if she'd sold the items for £150 but bought goods for less than that. In that case, DD should have taken any extra and all would have been absolutely fine IMO.

As I understand it, completely separate from the "official" xmas list, OP's daughter wanted a subset of items from a specific list and was going to use the profit from selling her unwanted toys on Ebay. Originally, OP was going to select a random subset on behalf of her daughter. Now, the daughter will do this herself. Whatever has already been ordered by the OP on behalf of her daughter will have to be returned to the store.

I believe the only issue was whether the OP should gift her daughter extra funds on top of the Ebay profits (the cost of the items already ordered). I think the consensus is that money is tight and the OP cannot afford any additional expenses.

Back to the random subset of the daughter's *personal* list... Unless she will be using online gift vouchers, she will surely still need her parents to order on her behalf as she is too young to have her own credit card. She can still change her mind and ask either parent to order at random on her behalf. Or she can use the cash (now in her bank account) to buy whatever she chooses on the high street.

This seems to be a giant mountain out of a molehill!!! FWIW, OP, I think I understood you were acting as your daughter's agent from the start. I would draw a line under it now - it appears to be all sorted.

74jax

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

I'd transfer her the profits and try to feel good about having the clear out. As an upside, you might have started the ball rolling for her to declutter regularly.

It's unfortunate that you didn't suggest she sell the items herself, so that she did all the leg work, but earnt the money in return. I know a child who has been selling used toys and clothes on Ebay, doing all the work themselves (photos, description, managing questions, billing, posting etc) since she was 10 or 11. I still haven't mastered it!

She did pick 8 items, photo'd them, listed them and will post them. She will get all money for these.

The other items we are referring to she said she didn't want the money for but she would like them to go toward the items on the list she gave me, not knowing which she would get. However, as these items started adding up, she changed her mind (unfortunately I had then ordered 2 items off the list)