Would you sell DD's old toys on ebay for new ones for Christmas?

raven83

This thread is giving me a headache just reading it! Just give your daughter the money from the proceeds of her ebay sales then get her a gift/gifts out of your own money. Just think if you hadnt sold any of her items you would still need to put your hand in your pocket and buy her presents anyway. I admit i have done this when my girls were alot younger because you can get away with alot more when they are little, but now my oldest DD is 9 and very switched on and if i tried to do this to her now i would never get away with it!

newcook

74jax wrote: »

However I 'think' i'm going to keep them and not tell her and hope she doesn't buy them herself.

keep telling her that there will be some big sales after xmas and her money will go further (plus she might get money from grandparents etc to spend). then when she opens her presents christmas day she will get some of what she was going to buy herself from you!

merlin1

I would like to reply to this thread before i start on my ramble i will add i read the initial post exactly has bestpud has!

As a single parent myself i have lost count how many times my son (also now 13) has asked me to ebay stuff for him. it usually comes about near Christmas and birthdays - he says it will help me buy what he wants.

honestly i could cry when he does this but by god do i try my best (and usually succeed) to get what he wants without his help, so that what he wants to ebay is then his to buy what he needs on top.

he isnt bought for through the year generally so birthdays and xmas are the 2 times i promise i will not let him down. Given the chioce and saying no son you cant have this because i cant afford it and him dissappointed at christmas, or accepting that he wants to help himself and me, i would choose the latter, but i would make damn sure i put that money away in bits into his savings until i'd paid it back! it hasn't happened yet but as they get older the requests get steadily more expensive. (mind you i mention paper round and he gets a headache):p

he has grown up very savvy when it comes to money and i think these kids need to be applauded for it. his finance teacher has already said he needs to take it as an option as he's one of the few that understands how cash flow works.

i think 74jax your daughter needs some credit throughout this very confusing thread!

i will also add that a few years ago my family decided on an envelope system for christmas. due to some serious family health issues with the grandparents we as grown ups were struggling with what to buy who. so instead of that we were all to put in cash into each persons individual envelope. a few weeks before xmas we were given our envelopes to buy what we wanted to be wrapped for christmas. (not much different to 74jax daughter really, apart from the kids we bought and wrapped to keep the magic)

Christmas morning came and there was as much excitement on prezzy opening as there would have been otherwise, but the other way round iykwim? " ooh what did i buy you?!" sort of thing:rotfl:

in my opinion christmas puts far too much pressure on people and parents in particular that we lose what its about. we have to remember however it is what we make it and everyone's Christmas is different

newcook

raven83 wrote: »

This thread is giving me a headache just reading it! Just give your daughter the money from the proceeds of her ebay sales then get her a gift/gifts out of your own money. Just think if you hadnt sold any of her items you would still need to put your hand in your pocket and buy her presents anyway. I admit i have done this when my girls were alot younger because you can get away with alot more when they are little, but now my oldest DD is 9 and very switched on and if i tried to do this to her now i would never get away with it!

Raven, I think its just that the OP hasn’t explained it properly and its getting everyone confused!!!

The way I think I have now gathered it is that…

DD sold stuff on ebay
DD said to OP ‘with the money I make I am going to buy this, this and this’
OP saw DD had enough money and so bought it on her behalf
Before OP could tell DD she had bought it, DD changed mind and said she wanted the money instead
OP has now decided to keep the items rather than return them and give them in addition to her normal xmas presents
OP now needs to hope that between now and xmas that DD doesn’t buy the items!!


OP – is this right or am I confusing things further!?!?!?!!!!!

shellsuit

newcook wrote: »

Raven, I think its just that the OP hasn’t explained it properly and its getting everyone confused!!!

The way I think I have now gathered it is that…

DD sold stuff on ebay
DD said to OP ‘with the money I make I am going to buy this, this and this’
OP saw DD had enough money and so bought it on her behalf
Before OP could tell DD she had bought it, DD changed mind and said she wanted the money instead
OP has now decided to keep the items rather than return them and give them in addition to her normal xmas presents
OP now needs to hope that between now and xmas that DD doesn’t buy the items!!


OP – is this right or am I confusing things further!?!?!?!!!!!

If that's the case, why can't the OP hand over the remainder of the money that's left and let the daughter know that she ordered her the X and Y, then when the X and Y arrive, give them to the daughter?!

By wanting to keep hold of the X and Y to give to the daughter at Christmas, it looks like the OP will be giving them as if they're a gift from her (OP), when they're not.

Sublime_2

Only when my kids were babies/toddlers. They had so many unplayed with toys, I sold them. Most had been bought as and when, not just as gifts.

At that age, if there was something special she wanted, that was a few 100, more than I'd usually spend, I would club in with her father, grandparents, etc to get, and/or buy as a combined, birthday, christmas present.

74jax

shellsuit wrote: »

If that's the case, why can't the OP hand over the remainder of the money that's left and let the daughter know that she ordered her the X and Y, then when the X and Y arrive, give them to the daughter?!

By wanting to keep hold of the X and Y to give to the daughter at Christmas, it looks like the OP will be giving them as if they're a gift from her (OP), when they're not.

I could do that, but the whole idea was they were a surprise as she couldn't decide which to buy.

If I can get away (somehow) without telling her, then I will try that.

shellsuit

74jax wrote: »

I could do that, but the whole idea was they were a surprise as she couldn't decide which to buy.

If I can get away (somehow) without telling her, then I will try that.

Then give her the remainder of the money and when X and Y arrive, wrap them up and give them to your daughter ASAP. They're hers, they were bought from the proceeds from selling her stuff, so she can decide whether she opens them right away, or keeps them for Christmas. She can look at them like a couple of suprise gifts from herself, but not you.

Then just can buy her whatever you were going to buy her for Christmas, before you sold any of her belongings.

newcook

shellsuit wrote: »

If that's the case, why can't the OP hand over the remainder of the money that's left and let the daughter know that she ordered her the X and Y, then when the X and Y arrive, give them to the daughter?!

By wanting to keep hold of the X and Y to give to the daughter at Christmas, it looks like the OP will be giving them as if they're a gift from her (OP), when they're not.

but they will be - OP will be giving the money to DD as DD has requested so she can buy other items on the list for herself.
before DD changed her mind OP had already bought a couple of items so can now either return the items or give them on xmas day in addition to her other presents.

DD hasnt paid for the items - she has had all the cash for the items she sold

shellsuit

newcook wrote: »

but they will be - OP will be giving the money to DD as DD has requested so she can buy other items on the list for herself.
before DD changed her mind OP had already bought a couple of items so can now either return the items or give them on xmas day in addition to her other presents.

DD hasnt paid for the items - she has had all the cash for the items she sold

The OP has given the daughter ALL of the money? I thought she ordered X and Y from the money?

jax just responded to my post and never mentioned it?


ETA ;

A separate issue are the two items to be delivered that DD said would come out of this ebay money, but now she wants the ebay money.

That's what was posted this morning, so no money has been handed/transferred over to the daughter as yet going from that.



I don't know what the hell to think lol, but I do think that the daughter should get all from what was sold and Mum buys whatever presents she was going to buy before all this started!