Would you sell DD's old toys on ebay for new ones for Christmas?

74jax

shellsuit wrote: »

The OP has given the daughter ALL of the money? I thought she ordered X and Y from the money?

Yes she asked for all the money, and that's what she has.

I did originally order x and y from the list to be purchased with DD's money, she then said she wanted the money, so I am deciding whether to keep the items or not



ETA ;



That's what was posted this morning, so no money has been handed/transferred over to the daughter as yet going from that.

yes, money has gone to her

I don't know what the hell to think lol, but I do think that the daughter should get all from what was sold and Mum buys whatever presents she was going to buy before all this started!

I know, but I 'think' i'm going to try and do both, but just without DD knowing.

CountingPennies

onlyroz wrote: »

I think there's a difference between selling old clothes to buy new ones, and selling old Christmas presents to buy new ones.

2gorgeousgirls wrote: »

I don't view this in the same way as the OP's pressie issue. Clothes are a necessity and once they are outgrown I don't see a problem with selling them to buy new (as long as you don't give them as pressies!). However, OP stated she was getting rid of DVD, games etc, all of which are DD's possessions, and, as DD is 13, she should have the right to do as she chooses with them. If she chooses to sell them, she should also be able to spend the money as she sees fit.

I think the problem here is that the OP stated she is going to buy DD Christmas pressies with the money.

Some clothes are bought as gifts.... I sell them and buy more for them. Fair enough, i don't give them the new clothes as gifts as i generally don't buy clothes as gifts, but i'm just in a wind up mood. My original comment was just to try and lighten the thread since it all seems to be getting a bit serious.

OP, do as you see fit. Don't defend your first post, you can't please everyone in this forum. I know lots of people who sell old toys to fund christmas. I've even done it myself in the past *please don't shoot me!!* when i got myself into a huge mess (part of the reason i use this site i guess). If i didn't do it at that time, then i can honestly say my kids would have got nothing that year. I'm just pleased i'm not in that situation as bad as that anymore.

I agree with someone else who says there is too much pressure at christmas time when it comes to finances and gift buying. I also agree that you shouldn't be giving your daughter £20 to buy gifts. She is old enough to have £150, so she is old enough to learn (and appreciate) the value of money.

Just my opinion.....

embob74

CountingPennies wrote: »

I agree with someone else who says there is too much pressure at christmas time when it comes to finances and gift buying. I also agree that you shouldn't be giving your daughter £20 to buy gifts. She is old enough to have £150, so she is old enough to learn (and appreciate) the value of money.

I totally agree with this ^^
I have previously sold my children's clothes and toys and kept the money :eek: and they have never questioned me. I have told the kids numerous times that if they sort through all the old stuff, photo it and list it on ebay then they can keep half the money but they don't want to take me up on that offer :rotfl:

When it comes to gifts they have received though I believe they are there to do with as they wish. I have spoken to youngest DD about selling her old toys and she will keep the money although I will put half into her savings.
My other DD has sold her clothes on ebay herself and therefore kept the proceeds but if I sell the items then I keep the proceeds. I am pretty sure it always gets spent on the kids soon enough though!
I don't give my children money to buy me a present - I have been asked to do so but have told them if I have to pay for my own present I will go out and choose what I want thank you very much.

patchwork_cat

I was going to post on this thread a number of times, but decided I couldn't be bothered, because the OP says they are interested in others views, but when you give a view that disagrees with hers she changes the story, yet again!:)

mumofjusttwo

Would it be easier to just wrap the presents up and say they are from Ebay and you can still buy a present from yourself as you would do normally.

So the money she got from selling her stuff comes wrapped with tags from Ebay and what you purchase come with tags from you and your family. This way she gets the surprise she wants and you can clearly separate the two sets of gifts.

Whatever you decide I hope that you all have a wonderful Christmas.

YORKSHIRELASS

Havent read the whole thread in detail but for what its worth this is my opinion.

My kids are older and their "stuff" is theirs. If they want to sell it they get the money. Clothes are different, unless they were clothes bought with their own money in which case they would get the money if they got sold on ebay (DS is selling some football kits at the moment on ebay for example).

Of course if my 13 year old agreed that she was happy to have some of her things sold and the money used to buy presents then there isnt a problem, so long as she was aware of what was going to happen.

FBaby

This is very confusing, but to respond to the initial basic question, I've just sold my kid big lot of toys that they got as Chritmas/bday presents over the years. I gave them the full amount, it is their toys, therefore their possessions, so wouldn't think of keeping it for myself, however, they wanted the money mainly to be able to offer themselves presents for Christmas. They are as excited being able to offer presents as receiving new ones.

Saying that, I really really hate e-bay.... how did I end up having to pay almost £20 of stupid fees without knowing? So now I am £20 short myself for going through the trouble of putting it on it, answering questions and having to wrap and post it all. They better be getting me a nice Christmas present

mummyplus3

I am doing this with the kids toys at the moment selling old toys to buy them new clothes as they are growing so blooming quick! However when they are older if stuff is sold that is there's I would let them keep the money after fee's etc... but make them take the responsibility for packaging with my supervision obviously!

I think your hubby is right, at the end of the day even though things are tight it is her stuff and you could use this as a really good learning experience for her that if she looks after things they will sell better and retain some value for when she know longer wants them. Maybe stick hal into her savings account/trust fund etc... and give her half the money to blow in the sales!

charlieann

i don't see the issue with what OP is/has done.
my mum used to do a simular thing with me at that age, helping me sell unwanted toys and using the proceeds to buy me something i had told her i wanted else giving me the money.
DD clearly approved/agreed to begin with and has since changed her mind. i think although £150 may be alot for a 13yr old, its the perfect age for them to start learning responsibility with money.
OP needs to let DD know some items have been brought from the given list and she can have the remaining monies, giving dd the choice of having them when they arrive or having them at Xmas.

pickledonionspaceraider

Cor, there is not a lot of christmas cheer in here, is there..

74jax, I understand where you are coming from. (correct me if I am wrong, but) you are a single mother - on half pay, with three kids...and trying your best to give your kids a decent Christmas. You don't sit claiming benefits, you are trying to sort things out independantly. There are all sorts of 'toys on the table' charities at this time of year - but you have chosen to be independant and sort out your own situation. I take my hat off to you as you are doing the best you can, seemingly for the right reasons, whilst in difficult circumstances.

As parents we are put under emormous pressure to provide mountains of presents for kids and we all do it, and if we don't provide the latest gadget we feel guilty. What we need to do is set a spend limit per child, and stick to it religiously - whatever they say. Kids have no idea that they may ask for a £40 game as if it is nothing, but to the parent, it may well be 6 hours of work just to get the £40 to earn that game. Sounds as if your daughter has given you her list, and later on, added to it - leaving you feel that you must provide theses additional items by any means neccesary. We don't do our kids any favours by bending over backwards like this to meet their whims.


And to the crew who think this is crime of the century:-
The popular belief seems to be that selling toys to buy christmas bits for a child is OK if the child is too young to understand what is happening, but not when they are older as they are aware of what is going on. Does no one else see the sickening problem there? If you wouldn't do it to an older child, don't do it to a younger one - it is called TAKING ADVANTAGE.

I get the 'feeling' that people critisising may have never had to make difficult descisions to do what they think is best for their kids.