14year old daughter refuses to visit

level200

Hi guys

I am recently seperated from my wife (not my fault)

My daughter has been over twice during the last two weeks but today after a heated conversation with my wife regarding me asking for shared residency, she has shown my daughter the texts and now my daughter flatly refuses to visit at all and wont even answer my calls, texts or facebook messages.

My ex has managed to get her claws in and convince my daughter not to visit. She is 14, I want to do the right thing but surely I have rights to access to my daughter?

basicly my ex does not want me to have shared residency. I live near her school and friends, I earn well have a room for her in my flat. I can see no reason why she cannot visit at all.

Please help

RAS

You have no rights at all, sorry.

Your daughter has the right to see both parents but neither of you have any right to see her.

Ditto re residence; as her age her opinion will be taken into account by the courts if it gets there.

crazyguy

Ex's for you and the levels they stoop to are sometimes quite low but I would say leave it a while and let things calm down before attempting to contact your daughter, as for the ex that is very bad to be doing that and showing your daughter the texts, in future just do everything verbally with her and try and remain as calm as possible.

FarmersWife_2

Sit back.. wait... Thats all you can do.

Had this with OH's son (15) he wouldnt speak to Dad but would speak and meet me... went on for 1 year. Speaks to dad now and visits us.

Give it time, keep texting, not too much, just now and again. DONT lose contact. Keep the texts short... Hi, how are you etc.

Dont mention your ex, residency or anything like that. Push and 14 is a dodgy age.

Yes if it gets to court you are on a no-goer 14 is old enough to be listened to.

Sorry cant offer anything else

C x

Louise03

Very wrong of your ex to show her the texts. I agree with the others, put no pressure on your daughter. When you text/message her keep it light. Ask about her friends, school, activities.

Mum sounds very bitter and in the end your daughter will see this for herself. Please do not play into your ex hands.

NAR

DD is seeing how upset you are making mummy (who is milking it by the sound of things) and is therefore turning against you.
Apologise to her for upsetting mummy and her. You need to play the long game on this one I'm afraid as ex is obviously going to make this difficult for you.

princessdreamer

14 year old will make up their own mind, if you sent abuse to the childs mother shame on you. As a mother of a teenage I can tell you if the child wanted to contact you they would and if they want to snoop through phones they will. I have a phone so that ex can contact re access, he never bothers instead the GF texts abuse, my son reads it and laughs at them.

newcook

what was in the texts?

flutterby_lil

How do you know the ex has her claws in, maybe the daughter just doesn't want to see you?

Girls (and boys alike) always stand by their mother, in the majority of cases.

I have a 14 year old sister who has refused to see her dad (apart from near his birthday (March) her birthday (august) and xmas) so she goes every 4 months lol to keep him sweet. My mum has never bad mouthed him, my sister has just made her own mind up at 14 - maybe this is the same for your daughter?

NAR

flutterby_lil wrote: »

Girls (and boys alike) always stand by their mother, in the majority of cases.

Sometimes to their cost, as my DD2 now knows, having suffered abuse at the hands of her mother until she had the strength to run away from "home" back to me.

level200

princessdreamer wrote: »

if you sent abuse to the childs mother shame on you.

Why does a woman always asume that the man is in the wrong and abusive!

To be honest I was very calm whilst she told me everything she did sex wise with her affair! All I want is to see my daughter.