5 year old boy very much into 'girl' things

magenta22

Cherry_Bomb wrote: »

It's parents evening tonight so I'll definitely bring the subject up again.
Thanks

I think that's a good idea. Trouble is that the teachers have so many kids to look after they don't always notice if a child is being singled out and bullied in some way.

Maybe Dad can read with him so that he can spend a bit more quality time with him. Nothing wrong with being a Mummy's boy but can be quite difficult for you if you need to go out somewhere and he cries for you until you get home and not nice for Dad either.

Acc72

Cherry_Bomb wrote: »

He's painfully shy and when meeting new people he pulls this face where his tongue sticks out and refuses to speak.

Even when we see people he knows for example in Tesco we've seen a few people from his class and they've shouted out 'Hi James (his names not James but you get the idea) he ignores them completely. Sometimes goes bright red and starts crying about it (he cries a lot as it is)

Firstly, unlike most other people who have replied I will not assume that you are worried that your son might be gay or that his dad is homophobic !

The comments above are important.

At parents evening, ask the teacher how he behaves / interacts with the other children in lessons and at play time, and if you feel that it is necessary ask their advice as to how you can help him to overcome his shyness and to improve his confidence. I am sure that everything else will work itself out.

Good luck and please do not be put of posting further questions or comments by some of the knee jerk comments posted to this thread.

Tish_P

You've got one real problem here, OP, which is that your son is unhappy. Deal with that. The other stuff is not a problem, it's his personality, which may or may not change as he grows. As others said, it sounds a bit like he might be being bullied - and perhaps he senses disapproval at home for the same things the bullies pick on him about? Poor lad. Does he avoid school, fake illnesses, that sort of thing?

PS You see dinosaurs and computers as reassuringly "boy things"? Argh! And people wonder why girls are put off science.

Cherry_Bomb

Acc72 wrote: »

Firstly, unlike most other people who have replied I will not assume that you are worried that your son might be gay or that his dad is homophobic !

The comments above are important.

At parents evening, ask the teacher how he behaves / interacts with the other children in lessons and at play time, and if you feel that it is necessary ask their advice as to how you can help him to overcome his shyness and to improve his confidence. I am sure that everything else will work itself out.

Good luck and please do not be put of posting further questions or comments by some of the knee jerk comments posted to this thread.

I definitely used to worry other kids would pick up on his shyness and target him for it. That's why I originally got involved with the school but the teachers were adamant he was fine. Shy yes, especially when he first started but now in Yr1 he is more than capable of standing up in front of the class, answering questions etc. This is a big step for him so I'm really really happy about it.

He loves going to school, never tries to get out of it pretending to be ill etc which is I guess why I put the bullying thing to the back of my mind. Hopefully tonight the teacher will be able to put it to rest, or on the other hand I'll find out something is going on and be able to sort it asap. Also help us work on his shyness!

FatVonD

Quick reply as busy at work but my son was very similar. The first time I went to watch him play football at school the only time someone passed him the ball he was walking in the opposite direction saying 'look mum. a butterfly!' His favourite toy was a Fizz doll.

Fast forward to now (he's 14) and he's a lovely (if stroppy) teenager, into skateboarding (the only 'sport' he likes), still shy but confident to be different if that makes sense (dyed black hair and very emo look.)

I'd far rather he was like that than a chav!

Acc72

Cherry_Bomb wrote: »

I definitely used to worry other kids would pick up on his shyness and target him for it. That's why I originally got involved with the school but the teachers were adamant he was fine. Shy yes, especially when he first started but now in Yr1 he is more than capable of standing up in front of the class, answering questions etc. This is a big step for him so I'm really really happy about it.

He loves going to school, never tries to get out of it pretending to be ill etc which is I guess why I put the bullying thing to the back of my mind. Hopefully tonight the teacher will be able to put it to rest, or on the other hand I'll find out something is going on and be able to sort it asap. Also help us work on his shyness!

It could be that you are just worrying too much ?

If your son likes school and his teachers are happy that there is no bullying etc. then just continue to encourage him to develop interests and his confidence will grow from there.

Good luck with parents evening.

sunshinetours

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

elvis post clearly wasnt aimed at you. i dont know why your being so defensive.

Because it was way OTT in the context of the thread

sunshinetours

Op is your son an only child? Did he go to nursery / playgroup regualrly with other children?

Could be combinations of factors that cause his shyness and as for what toys he plays with don't worry at 5 as I think many children play wth whatever toys they enjoy (ours always have).

As others have suggested find some activities that both OH and son enjoy. Your OH may or may not have some old fashiooned views on certain things and at the end of the day we are all human and mainly (I would hope) just want the best for our kids whatever that may bring.

peachyprice

Acc72 wrote: »

Firstly, unlike most other people who have replied I will not assume that you are worried that your son might be gay or that his dad is homophobic !

The comments above are important.

At parents evening, ask the teacher how he behaves / interacts with the other children in lessons and at play time, and if you feel that it is necessary ask their advice as to how you can help him to overcome his shyness and to improve his confidence. I am sure that everything else will work itself out.

Good luck and please do not be put of posting further questions or comments by some of the knee jerk comments posted to this thread.

If OP had title the post 'My son is shy, perhaps being bullied', instead of '5yo boy very much into Girl things' she would have had different responses. The title of her thread suggests the problem is very much that he into girls toys, not that he is shy.

So not knee jerk reactions, reactions to the actual title of the thread, not reactions to reading between the lines.

Cheap_Date

OP, your son sounds similar to how mine was too. He was, and is, shy and quiet.

Over the years, teachers have encouraged him to be more outspoken and outgoing, but he is naturally more introverted. He is now in sixth form, doing a-levels. He has a small group of friends and is close to me and his dad, and to his younger brothers. I have four sons altogether, and there is no such thing as a typical boy! My lot are all very different, some sporty, some sciencey, some loud, some quiet, all wonderful! (The oldest three are out at school now, and the youngest is asleep! They will be less wonderful later when they are arguing and need feeding!! )

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I don't think you can change a child's personality (at least not dramatically) You can't make them interested in things they aren't interested in. You can suggest new interests, but it is up to them.

Your son is still very young, enjoy him. Encourage him to try things, love him and talk to him, always keep communicating. He will grow up close to you and knowing he can rely on you. His interests sound perfectly fine.

My oldest came out to his dad and I several months ago. None of us can be sure that our kids will turn out straight, gay, trans, 'feminine', 'masculine'. It is beyond our (and their) control. We can only support them and be there for them, unconditionally.

I'm rambling, sorry! I don't even know if what I've said is in any way relevant. I just know that as long as he is as happy as he can be, and he is able to be himself, then you'll have done a good job.

Good luck at parents evening. I hope he has a fab teacher you can talk easily to.

xxx