5 year old boy very much into 'girl' things

Gingham_R

halight wrote: »

Hi,
I dont have a son (Im male) I have two twin girls. But if i did have a son then i would be at my wits end if he liked Football,

Brilliant! My point summed up beautifully.

I remember someone saying he'd be horrified if one of his children brought home a recorder and he'd be expecting them to be into rugby etc. I remember thinking how delighted I'd be if my kids wanted to learn the recorder and how worried I'd be if they started playing rugby.

A few short years later, my 4 year old has come home delighted that they're learning 'tag-rumpy' in PE and my 7 year old wants to join the recorder club.

Turns out I'm really excited for my little rumpy player and slightly nervous about the recorder club because I don't think my 7 year old will be able to refrain from blowing into it when he's not supposed to...

Things have a way of working out!

jakes-mum

Op your initial thread really reminded my of my son when he was 3 and all he wanted was a pink buggy, his dad was horrified as he came from a long line of 'barbie = girl, action man = boy'. We went to a car boot and the child nearly dragged my arm out of its socket charging across 3 lines of cars to this pink pushchair a man was selling, he charged me 10p and my boy was all smiles. DH gave me 'the look' and said 'what did you buy THAT for! its for girls!!' to which I calmly pointed out the big pram he was pushing along with no child in and replied 'he's copying his dad'.

DS is now 10 and as boyish as you can get, martial arts, football, scouts . . pretty much anything to do with fighting and mud and he's there, tbh I wouldnt have given a monkeys if he had still wanted to play with dolls houses and skipping ropes at 15, to a little boy/girl they are toys not boys toys and girls toys.

And as a side note when I was 7 my christmas list comprised of a Mr Frosty ice cone maker (which I never got ) and a remote control car (which I did get :j) I never had a barbie, painted my sisters cindy dolls face green with permanent marker to make her into the incredible hulk and you only ever saw me in a dress when my mother forced it over my head for a party :rotfl:

EDIT: to say I didnt mention my daughter who is so ungirly its mad, no tea parties for us, we get to play beat our brother up with a pillow, jump on the sofa and then launch ourselves at DH/DS/me well whoever is within reach, climb the doorways and stunts on scooters . . btw shes 3 :rotfl:

elvis86

Acc72 wrote: »

elvis86 wrote: »

I'm not looking for sympathy. Why would I want sympathy? There's nothing wrong with me?

What on earth are you talking about ?

I actually said :

In my opinion, you completely over-reacted to the OP and I find it incredulous that you are now apparently looking for some sort of sympathy because not everybody agrees with your opinion (this is of course me reading between the lines and making assumptions on your post etc. etc.).

Please look at the bits I have highlighted.

From your reply above, it is my opinion that you yourself have issues and that you should not take these out on other people.

Oh, and before you say anything I am not implying that these issues are in any way linked to your sexuality.

What are YOU on about? You shared your belief that I am looking for "some sort of sympathy", and I disagreed. It's there in black and white above, you said it! It doesn't matter which parts you embolden, it's still there!

I was responding to the OP, who posted of her own free will (as far as I'm aware), a thread sharing her concern, despair and disappointment that her son liked "girl" stuff and wasn't the son that she and her OH had hoped for. I didn't hijack the thread as some kind of therapy for myself and my own issues, I merely shared my opinion.

sunshinetours

elvis86 wrote: »

What are YOU on about? You shared your belief that I am looking for "some sort of sympathy", and I disagreed. It's there in black and white above, you said it! It doesn't matter which parts you embolden, it's still there!

I was responding to the OP, who posted of her own free will (as far as I'm aware), a thread sharing her concern, despair and disappointment that her son liked "girl" stuff and wasn't the son that she and her OH had hoped for. I didn't hijack the thread as some kind of therapy for myself and my own issues, I merely shared my opinion.

Stating that replies "have been a little unfair" kind of does imply some sympathy seeking but maybe we are all guilty of reading too much into posts I guess then?!

Jesswithwings

My DS1 sounds very much like yours. Quiet, sensitive, intelligent, plays with girls at school, not interested in football or trains or regular boy stuff. Likes playing on the computer/DS, hates all Dr Who / Ben 10 or anything associated with monsters or scary things. Likes spongebob and Phineas and Ferb. Likes running around outside like a loon and structured games like duck, duck goose in preference to "killing" games that involve trying to "get" people. I don't think he's going to be gay as he's said he wants to marry his friend at school who is female but even if he was - he's still my boy and I'll love him regardless of anything he grows up to be. He know's he's different to the boys in his class (who, frankly are a bit mental) and has asked me if he's a "bit girl" because he doesnt like monsters....:( but he's very "boy" and laughed at me when I told him to put a dress on (at halloween) and shouted "no WAY!!"

Its boys like ours who grow into sensitive men who girls love be proud that you're raising one of the future's rare ones.

Acc72

sunshinetours wrote: »

maybe we are all guilty of reading too much into posts I guess then?!

Sounds like common sense - which is why I said : (this is of course me reading between the lines and making assumptions on your post etc. etc.).

Although I guess that the irony got lost somewhere .......

sashadesade

Is your OH worried that your son might be gay, or is he just disappointed that he doesn't want to do 'boy' things with him? If it's the former, then it's far too early to think about that. When I was a kid I hated pink and dollies and liked playing with transformers and lego. I didn't grow up to be a butch lesbian, not that it would have been a problem if I had. I just didn't like girly stuff, still don't really. If it's the latter issue, then no doubt your OH feels a bit let down that he can't do the things he wanted with his son, but unfortunately he's going to have to get used to it. As you found out with the football thing, you can't make him like things. He's his own person with his own interests. Your OH is going to have to find things that he and his son can enjoy together, albeit gender neutral things - for example, me and my mum would do puzzles, board games and card games together and me and my dad have both always been really into music.
Just let him do his own thing and try not to worry about it too much. His relationship with his dad will develop over time.

jamespir

adouglasmhor wrote: »

:rotfl: James you bully, I have seen a nasty side to you on this thread :rotfl: I bet you bullied poor Rob as well



No i haven't i am joking

im not trying hard enough then:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Jesswithwings

sashadesade wrote: »

I I hated pink and dollies and liked playing with transformers and lego.

Oooo me too. I still love lego and transfomers! We have plenty of lego but no transformers in our house... That's the one drawback of not having a boyish boy - I can't play with the stuff I want to, but then as I'm 32 - I should probably do boring grown up things.

Cherry_Bomb

Jesswithwings wrote: »

Its boys like ours who grow into sensitive men who girls love be proud that you're raising one of the future's rare ones.

This has just made me smile

Just want to answer a few points that have come up. Hand on heart my and OH and I most definitely had this idea of what our little boy would be like. It's not turned out that way.

Yes OH is disappointed that they can't enjoy all the things he thought they were going to. But he's going to focus on things they can do together like lego, playing on the ps3, hunting for insects :eek: all of which DS does enjoy.


Having been to parents evening I feel 100% better about everything. His teacher has said he's a lovely little boy, can be shy at times but is coming out of his shell, loves being creative, has a wild imagination, can be quite stubborn (so a little like me ) and hates being wrong (a LOT like his dad )

His dad is going to take a bit longer to accept he is what he is (not meaning he thinks he's gay before anyone says anything!) but I think we'll get there