5 year old boy very much into 'girl' things

Valli

The very WORST thing you can do is suggest to him, overtly or covertly, that his behaviour is wrong, is gay, is something to be ashamed of. Do, however, find out how he plays at school, and with what, and with whom and try to make sure he learns, as he grows up, how not to present himself as a victim.

carolpinkdreamer

We all worry about our children. Your little boy sounds fine to me. Enjoy every minute with him x

krlyr

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

elvis post clearly wasnt aimed at you. i dont know why your being so defensive.

Actually, elvis addressed OP about half of the way down the post so looks to me like it was.

Cherry_Bomb

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

elvis post clearly wasnt aimed at you. i dont know why your being so defensive.

3rd paragraph down starts OP..

Perhaps the first couple of paragraphs weren't aimed at me I really don't know. I was simply answering the suggesting we force DS into things

knithappens

property.advert wrote: »

All very well letting them do what they want at a young age but I can promise you that an older boy who wants to play with dolls or make up is going to be called a gay / queer / !!!!!! / nancy boy etc. by their peer group.

Parents who ignore that fact, irrespective of their own open-mindedness, are simply ignoring the truth: some kids will pick on other kids.

No harm at 5 but a nightmare life at 15.

This is sadly true to a certain extent, but teaching yoru child a good sense of self will tsand them in good stead. Also as a teacher (well ex teacher now, stopped teaching in July) it is becoming more and more acceptable for children to "come out" , more so for girls. My daughter is in year 11 and there are a couple of boys in her year who are accepted for their sexuality in her school, times are changing thank God.

My worst fear for my son , i s not that he would be Gay, but how others would treat him, as a mother my natural instinct is to protet, even just thinking about him being emotionally hurt by others is upsetting. But then again it is the same as how i feel for my daugter she is almost 16 , and starting to think about relationships and if she was ever mistreated it would break my heart the same way.

dirtysexymonkey

elvis86 wrote: »

When it comes to discussions like this, the very thinly veiled (or sometimes not even hidden) homophobia of many parents disgusts me.:mad:

Yes, because the worst thing in the world for your son to be when he grows up, is gay. Of course it is. Here's hoping he turns out to be anything other than gay. Bank robber, wife-beater or sexual predator are all fine, so long as he fancies women. Or best of all, maybe he'll grow up into a homophobic bigot, just like his old man.

OP, you will do your little boy a massive disservice if you attempt to force him into doing things that he doesn't enjoy, or to be someone that he isn't. And if you allow your OH to mistreat him because he thinks he might be gay, you're just as bad.

I hated football, I liked girls toys, I had mostly female friends, and I turned out fine. I am gay. And very happy too.;)

He might grow out of it, he might not. But you or your OH attempting to force him out of it won't help, and if he is gay, it won't change that either. You'll probably succeed in making him utterley miserable, though. And if he is gay, you'll possibly ensure that he finds it even more difficult to accept who he is.

if you read properly elvis clearly states 'what ifs' and not 'you haves' so i dont know why your post was so defensive.

Cherry_Bomb wrote: »

Well actually I haven't said anywhere we force him into anything. I said is dad took him to football ONCE and even then it was to just watch so he could see how DS reacted. I've already said it didn't go well so they came home. End of.
We've never done it again nor has he EVER been forced to play football or any other sport for that matter.

If we're really trying to force 'boy' things on to him do you really think we would allow him to play with the dolls house for example? Or buy him the Jessie doll for xmas (Santa didn't bring it did he?)

Of course you can have your rant at what you perceive is a homophobic post. That's fine. It's a open forum. I absolutely welcome opinions. But base them on facts. Not what you have interpreted from 2 posts

the rant was clearly not aimed at you. so again i dont know why your being so defensive.

Cherry_Bomb wrote: »

3rd paragraph down starts OP..

Perhaps the first couple of paragraphs weren't aimed at me I really don't know. I was simply answering the suggesting we force DS into things

the wording was 'if you attempt to'. he didnt make any suggestion.

Cherry_Bomb

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

if you read properly elvis clearly states 'what ifs' and not 'you haves' so i dont know why your post was so defensive.



the rant was clearly not aimed at you. so again i dont know why your being so defensive.



the wording was 'if you attempt to'. he didnt make any suggestion.

OK I'll reword my post.

I was simply answering the suggestion that WE MAY force DS into things.

Better?

dirtysexymonkey

Cherry_Bomb wrote: »

OK I'll reword my post.

I was simply answering the suggestion that WE MAY force DS into things.

Better?

again i dont know why your being so defensive. well i could take a guess.

Cherry_Bomb

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

again i dont know why your being so defensive. well i could take a guess.

Defensive

Why is when the OP quotes someone else's reply and perhaps post something that doesn't agree with the reply it's taken as defensive?

Am I not allowed to answer without it being taking as defensive, possibly argumentative? Does it mean I can't take others opinions? (which is of course why I posted in the first place)

Again don't take this post as my being defensive!

elvis86

Cherry_Bomb wrote: »

Well actually I haven't said anywhere we force him into anything. I said is dad took him to football ONCE and even then it was to just watch so he could see how DS reacted. I've already said it didn't go well so they came home. End of.
We've never done it again nor has he EVER been forced to play football or any other sport for that matter.

If we're really trying to force 'boy' things on to him do you really think we would allow him to play with the dolls house for example? Or buy him the Jessie doll for xmas (Santa didn't bring it did he?)

Of course you can have your rant at what you perceive is a homophobic post. That's fine. It's a open forum. I absolutely welcome opinions. But base them on facts. Not what you have interpreted from 2 posts.

Apologies if it wasn't clear, but I only ranted about parents in general having underlying homophobic attitudes, and the potential outcomes of the OP (or any parent) attempting to force their child to conform to their ideals.

Your original post did suggest to me that your OH has a problem though.