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5 year old boy very much into 'girl' things
Comments
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The best thing that you can do really is just to support the little guy and look after him however things turn out. The type of toys he chooses to play with and the activities he gets involved with are not indicitive of any sexuality or gender variance.
When I was a young boy I mainly got involved with typical boy things, toy guns, football etc but grew out of the "blokey" stuff fairly early on into teenage years/puberty etc. I am M to F trans and despite a period of utter denial where I threw myself into silly cars etc I've never gone back to that stuff. Well, bar the Morris Minor - but I love those cars!
In this modern world the "gender binary" is becoming far more blurry and there is less pressure on kids to play with gender specific playthings and live in traditional gender roles. Don't worry about him, just let him be and do whats natural.
(I have to say though, that the idea of taking him to some motorsport events does sound like a good one, it could easily give a route for strong bonding with him and dad)Proud of who, and what, I am. :female::male::cool:0 -
I was the opposite - tomboy daughter who was definately daddy's little girl, and out with my brothers making mudpies, climbing trees, going on the minimotorbike when I was old enough, etc. - my mum soon gave up with buying me nice dresses! I always got along better with boys at schools than girls (even all the way up to college), apparently my primary teachers were amazed because I was the only girl in the class not afraid I'd catch "cooties" from the boys :rotfl:
Took me a while to become more "girly" and I'm still comfier in jeans than a dress, but I found my relationship with my mother improved a lot more as adults - we're now very close (and, incidentally, I don't speak to my dad anymore!) and will share opinions on clothes, house decor, recipes - all the stuff mothers and daughters are "meant" to talk about together. Your OH may be disappointed to not have the relationship with DS that he'd hoped but he may find that things change as he grows older and his interests shift. In the mean time, it's a good idea for him to focus on the things they do have in common and enjoy those, rather than dwell on the stuff your son doesn't like and holding any resentment for it.0 -
property.advert wrote: »All very well letting them do what they want at a young age but I can promise you that an older boy who wants to play with dolls or make up is going to be called a gay / queer / !!!!!! / nancy boy etc. by their peer group.
Parents who ignore that fact, irrespective of their own open-mindedness, are simply ignoring the truth: some kids will pick on other kids.
No harm at 5 but a nightmare life at 15.
Not even 15yo girls play (or admit to playing) with dolls, so why would a 15yo boy?
As for makeup, if they're wearing it because that's who they are, it doesn't matter. It's not their problem, it's the bigots who think like you who have the problem, bigots who can't see the person underneath.Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence and face your future without fear0 -
Cherry_Bomb wrote: »Just to answer a couple of questions I did think about bullying but have spoken to both his school and kids club he attends before and after school and they both assure me he is not being bullied. Nor is he having any sort of trouble with other children. I've asked DS too and he says no so I really don't think that's a problem.
Please don't assume that the teachers and kids club leaders know everything that's going on.
As a child I was bullied very badly and the teachers always told me parents I was fine.
I always told them I was fine because I was embarrassed and insecure. And yes kids do understand the concept of embarrassment.0 -
oh no he might turn out gay ............ tell dad to get over himself just cause a boy likes girls toys dont mean they gonna be gay
needless to say we dont get on well, and are amicable for my son, but he is comig around, I think he had in his head gender stereotypes about boys, and now understands our son better and is encouraging him in what he does.0 -
When it comes to discussions like this, the very thinly veiled (or sometimes not even hidden) homophobia of many parents disgusts me.:mad:
Yes, because the worst thing in the world for your son to be when he grows up, is gay. Of course it is. Here's hoping he turns out to be anything other than gay. Bank robber, wife-beater or sexual predator are all fine, so long as he fancies women. Or best of all, maybe he'll grow up into a homophobic bigot, just like his old man.
OP, you will do your little boy a massive disservice if you attempt to force him into doing things that he doesn't enjoy, or to be someone that he isn't. And if you allow your OH to mistreat him because he thinks he might be gay, you're just as bad.
I hated football, I liked girls toys, I had mostly female friends, and I turned out fine. I am gay. And very happy too.;)
He might grow out of it, he might not. But you or your OH attempting to force him out of it won't help, and if he is gay, it won't change that either. You'll probably succeed in making him utterley miserable, though. And if he is gay, you'll possibly ensure that he finds it even more difficult to accept who he is.
Well actually I haven't said anywhere we force him into anything. I said is dad took him to football ONCE and even then it was to just watch so he could see how DS reacted. I've already said it didn't go well so they came home. End of.
We've never done it again nor has he EVER been forced to play football or any other sport for that matter.
If we're really trying to force 'boy' things on to him do you really think we would allow him to play with the dolls house for example? Or buy him the Jessie doll for xmas (Santa didn't bring it did he?)
Of course you can have your rant at what you perceive is a homophobic post. That's fine. It's a open forum. I absolutely welcome opinions. But base them on facts. Not what you have interpreted from 2 posts0 -
property.advert wrote: »All very well letting them do what they want at a young age but I can promise you that an older boy who wants to play with dolls or make up is going to be called a gay / queer / !!!!!! / nancy boy etc. by their peer group.
Parents who ignore that fact, irrespective of their own open-mindedness, are simply ignoring the truth: some kids will pick on other kids.
No harm at 5 but a nightmare life at 15.
a nightmare so bad that there has been a raft of gay teens killing themselves because of the bullying.
the answer is not to stop them being who they are, its to tackle the homophobia and abusive nature of the bullies. trying to force a kid to change who they are (or pray the gay away) as some parents try to, doesnt make the problem better. it makes it worse.
solving bullying doesnt start with attempting to fix the victims 'problem'.Hi, we’ve had to remove your signature. If you’re not sure why please read the forum rules or email the forum team if you’re still unsure - MSE ForumTeam0 -
Cherry_Bomb wrote: »Well actually I haven't said anywhere we force him into anything. I said is dad took him to football ONCE and even then it was to just watch so he could see how DS reacted. I've already said it didn't go well so they came home. End of.
We've never done it again nor has he EVER been forced to play football or any other sport for that matter.
If we're really trying to force 'boy' things on to him do you really think we would allow him to play with the dolls house for example? Or buy him the Jessie doll for xmas (Santa didn't bring it did he?)
Of course you can have your rant at what you perceive is a homophobic post. That's fine. It's a open forum. I absolutely welcome opinions. But base them on facts. Not what you have interpreted from 2 posts
elvis post clearly wasnt aimed at you. i dont know why your being so defensive.Hi, we’ve had to remove your signature. If you’re not sure why please read the forum rules or email the forum team if you’re still unsure - MSE ForumTeam0 -
serious_saver wrote: »Please don't assume that the teachers and kids club leaders know everything that's going on.
As a child I was bullied very badly and the teachers always told me parents I was fine.
I always told them I was fine because I was embarrassed and insecure. And yes kids do understand the concept of embarrassment.
It's parents evening tonight so I'll definitely bring the subject up again.
Thanks0 -
I am M to F trans
Catflea, you're even further down the pecking order than I am when it comes to what a bigoted parent fears their kids turning into! Perhaps they could tolerate a gay son, so long as he never "flaunted his sexuality in their faces" (!!!!!! does that mean anyway?!). But a trans child? My god...
I'd rather measure the success of my parenting by whether I raise a happy and well-rounded child who knows they're loved and supported. Unfortunately, there are some for whom the primary measure is apparently where their son sticks his c**k..:cool:0
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