5 year old boy very much into 'girl' things

jamespir

peachyprice wrote: »

And so what if he does!

OP, your OH needs to get a grip. Not all boys like football, it's a myth. I have two, neither of them like football, never have, never will. The only sports they have ever liked is swimming and trampolining.

They both had pushchairs when they were little, and dolls to go in them, and a play kitchen and various other 'girls' toys.


Not all boys like rough play, not all boys fight, not all boys wrestle. And guess what, not all girls like dolls, or the colour pink.

Just let your boy be a child without you or your husband trying to pugeon hole him at the tender age of 5, poor little mite.

hold on i have said it does not matter

elvis86

When it comes to discussions like this, the very thinly veiled (or sometimes not even hidden) homophobia of many parents disgusts me.:mad:

Yes, because the worst thing in the world for your son to be when he grows up, is gay. Of course it is. Here's hoping he turns out to be anything other than gay. Bank robber, wife-beater or sexual predator are all fine, so long as he fancies women. Or best of all, maybe he'll grow up into a homophobic bigot, just like his old man.

OP, you will do your little boy a massive disservice if you attempt to force him into doing things that he doesn't enjoy, or to be someone that he isn't. And if you allow your OH to mistreat him because he thinks he might be gay, you're just as bad.

I hated football, I liked girls toys, I had mostly female friends, and I turned out fine. I am gay. And very happy too.;)

He might grow out of it, he might not. But you or your OH attempting to force him out of it won't help, and if he is gay, it won't change that either. You'll probably succeed in making him utterley miserable, though. And if he is gay, you'll possibly ensure that he finds it even more difficult to accept who he is.

property.advert

All very well letting them do what they want at a young age but I can promise you that an older boy who wants to play with dolls or make up is going to be called a gay / queer / !!!!!! / nancy boy etc. by their peer group.

Parents who ignore that fact, irrespective of their own open-mindedness, are simply ignoring the truth: some kids will pick on other kids.

No harm at 5 but a nightmare life at 15.

adouglasmhor

:rotfl: James you bully, I have seen a nasty side to you on this thread :rotfl: I bet you bullied poor Rob as well



No i haven't i am joking

elvis86

property.advert wrote: »

All very well letting them do what they want at a young age but I can promise you that an older boy who wants to play with dolls or make up is going to be called a gay / queer / !!!!!! / nancy boy etc. by their peer group.

Parents who ignore that fact, irrespective of their own open-mindedness, are simply ignoring the truth: some kids will pick on other kids.

No harm at 5 but a nightmare life at 15.

A disabled kid might well be bullied too, what would you suggest their parents do? Euthanase them?

peachyprice

jamespir wrote: »

hold on i have said it does not matter

Sorry, you read it the wron way, I was agreeing with you!

serious_saver

I don't think there's any point worrying about the toys he plays with. I do think you need to look at building his confidence though. Does he have any friends outside of school? If he doesn't want to talk to the other boys then maybe he's being bullied or just doesn't know how to talk to them. I was like that for years with the girls in school and for a long time I was so shy it was almost debilitating.

Does your husband ever talk about his gender concerns in front of your son? It might be that your son is picking up on this.

It might be worth coming up with some activities that they can do together other than football. Growing up my brother always hated football. If you want to boost his confidence then see if there are any other classes or sport that he might be interested in and good at. nothing boost confidence more than knowing you are good at something. Karate (or similar) might be good. It doesn't involve having to be in a team but it's good exercise and it would make people think twice about bullying him for his shyness.

Ravenlady_2

I think the problem is not your sons but your OH's.
Your son sounds normal however I cannot extend the same feeling towards you OH, he has kidded himself in to this false ideology that happens between sons and fathers.
There was a rather heated thread a few years back about boys in tights where a few posters admitted they would rather their boys got cold that wear tights under their trousers because they thought it might influence them to wear more girls cloths and become gay.
You need to have a full and frank conversation with your OH and tell him to get a bloody grip, the effect this can have on your son can be devastating, instead of your OH wanting to do the things he enjoys with his son he should make an effort to do the things your son enjoys otherwise your son will end up feeling rejected.

Bennifred

Just to echo everyone else - let your son be who he wants to be. It seems to be his father who has the problem - he needs to tone down trying to enforce his idea of what a little boy should like/be like or he could cause problems for your son.

I have three sons (now 24, 21 and 18). Their Dad is and always has been very sporty. Guess what? Not one of the boys is sporty at all! They are much more like me in their interests (reading, films, etc) They were all given the opportunity to try lots of different sports and other activities, and were allowed to decide for themselves what they enjoyed and wanted to persue. My OH would have loved for at least one of the boys to share his interest in all things sporty, but accepts them and loves them just as they are - they have fabulous relationships.

DS1 enjoyed dance lessons for about three years, preferred the company of girls, etc. DS1 and DS2 liked riding lessons for about a year. All three of them love playing electric guitar and progressed through the grades. DS1 (yep, the shy, gentle little boy who loved dancing and dressing up*) has been in a heavy metal band for eight years now, so not girly at all! Who would have guessed, lol?!

* he still does!

Sublime_2

property.advert wrote: »

All very well letting them do what they want at a young age but I can promise you that an older boy who wants to play with dolls or make up is going to be called a gay / queer / !!!!!! / nancy boy etc. by their peer group.

Parents who ignore that fact, irrespective of their own open-mindedness, are simply ignoring the truth: some kids will pick on other kids.

No harm at 5 but a nightmare life at 15.

I think any child regardless of gender would get teased if still playing with dolls at 15. So irrelevant really to the original post. My children are going through their normal development stages, so couldn't see that happening.

Re: makeup, I don't encourage my children, but I have a box of old cosmetics which they use occasionally, not unusual. My children are very theatrical, esp daughter, and they love putting on performances for me.

Haven't got a crystal ball, as what will happen in 10 years time, but refuse to let them have hang-ups, as that is what makes children rebel.