We are about to pull the purse strings soooo tight!

Alice_in_Poorland

Eager_Elephant wrote: »

Ooh Alice


I was just coming on to tell you I hung out some bed linen today and it got dry in a few hours and I see the bit above.


Have things got worse with DH? When my DH makes me angry I rant away on my diary - it makes me feel better:rotfl:


Is the marriage saveable (is that a word?)?
If it's not then you need a plan to leave - ellieseven is planning on leaving her husband in 2.5 yrs. Her debts will be paid off by then and she will be off. She is able to cope with her husbands behaviour as she knows that it is not forever.


Apologies if I have read it wrong and am interfering.


Hope you have a good night at the sportsclub

Well done on the pegging out EE....I'm almost jealous, we had cloudy damp weather so I couldn't peg out today. :-( :rotfl:

Pls don't apologise, I'm very grateful for all the advice and support posted on my diary.:)

I really don't know if our marriage with last. I know that the grass is not always greener on the other side, and I don't want to be on my own with the kids but sometimes it's very tempting. I also know how hard the kids would take it (OH has had a few affairs, he did leave once and it broke the kids hearts...so I took him back.) I don't think I've really forgiven him to be honest.

He can be great with the kids and he works hard but there are so many other things he does that really upset/frustrate me I could go on and on. I would love to rewind and for him to be the person I married......I've no doubt he says that about me too.:o

So I'll just plod on, not sure what the future holds for us but I'm certainly going to keep on the with 'debt busting'.:)

Xx

Alice_in_Poorland

Went to sburys today, spent £31. Now I shouldn't step foot in a supermarket for anther week.:rotfl:

We spent £12 on drinks tonight.....I'm so cheap.:D

Don't need DS2s bus money so putting that towards DS3 holiday club costs. Should have a few more NSD next week too.:)

Must do meter readings in the morning.

Xx

grannyx2

I'm sorry to hear things are bad at home, there is no harder sorrow than feeling alone despite being in a relationship. I hope you manage to turn things around for your sake but please remember your children would prefer you to be happy not sad. Kids are resilient and get over things easier than adults.

OH & I were in an awful place when I joined MSE and I doubted we'd last but although he still winds me up often, we're in a much better place now. Part of this is because I decided to make my own happiness a priority and as a result things have settled.

I really feel for you and hope you know we're all here for you whenever you need us

Granny x

Verbatim

That's such a good and wise point Granny. Making one's own happiness a priority I mean.

Alice_in_Poorland

grannyx2 wrote: »

I'm sorry to hear things are bad at home, there is no harder sorrow than feeling alone despite being in a relationship. I hope you manage to turn things around for your sake but please remember your children would prefer you to be happy not sad. Kids are resilient and get over things easier than adults.

OH & I were in an awful place when I joined MSE and I doubted we'd last but although he still winds me up often, we're in a much better place now. Part of this is because I decided to make my own happiness a priority and as a result things have settled.

I really feel for you and hope you know we're all here for you whenever you need us

Granny x

Verbatim wrote: »

That's such a good and wise point Granny. Making one's own happiness a priority I mean.

Thank you granny and Verbatim,

Granny the first line is exactly how I feel....alone. Nobody in RL knows about the state of our relationship or our debt (keeping the debt situation a secret doesn't help, although think my parents have got an inkling), I'm so grateful for you guys on here.

Its good to hear that your relationship with OH is better. I do hope we can turn the corner. I've said this before I'm not sure if it's because he's ill, depressed or even if he wants to leave.....he's had plenty of chances.

Don't get me wrong it's not all doom and gloom, we have some great times but it can be really tough at times too and I have to bite my tongue.....much to often for my liking.

Anyway I will try and keep my diary focused on the debt busting. Perhaps things will sort themselves out once the pressure of the debt has gone.

Xx

Alice_in_Poorland

On the money front, have done meter readings and we have used £54 in 2 weeks, so we are -£75.83. They will definitely be increasing our DD, we are currently only paying £82 per month.

No pegging out today, weather damp and cloudy again.

Xx

Eager_Elephant

Alice_in_Poorland wrote: »

Well done on the pegging out EE....I'm almost jealous, we had cloudy damp weather so I couldn't peg out today. :-( :rotfl:


Xx

We had a lovely wind so that helped - today is a different matter as I need to get a king size duvet washed:eek:
I changed the bed linen yesterday afternoon and when DH and I went to bed we found a huge wet patch in the middle of the bed:mad:. The cat had weed on the bed so we ended up sleeping with just a blanket each as DD has the spare sleeping bag on her bed as the cat weed on her bed last week:mad:
It won't fit in the washing machine (I want my Dyson back as it fitted in that) so I have given it a bath and now it is drip drying over the wheelie bins - I am hoping that later on it will be dry enough to hang on the line!! (Plus of course we have no tumble dryer:eek: - these things are sent to try us:rotfl:

I really don't know if our marriage with last. I know that the grass is not always greener on the other side, and I don't want to be on my own with the kids but sometimes it's very tempting. I also know how hard the kids would take it (OH has had a few affairs, he did leave once and it broke the kids hearts...so I took him back.) I don't think I've really forgiven him to be honest.

He can be great with the kids and he works hard but there are so many other things he does that really upset/frustrate me I could go on and on. I would love to rewind and for him to be the person I married......I've no doubt he says that about me too.:o

So I'll just plod on, not sure what the future holds for us but I'm certainly going to keep on the with 'debt busting'.:)

It is difficult Alice, as you know I was all ready to leave DH before he got ill as he had been a !!!!! for years. We had come so close to splitting up loads of times.
DD is a daddy's girl and she is always distraught if we argue in front of her (nowadays I reign it in thanks to Agnus Castus) and she would want to live with DH if we split up - I would not allow this as mentally he is not good in times of stress and I would worry about the consequences.


Some of her friends at school have parents who have separated and they seem to have coped very well with it although DD says that she has to cheer them up sometimes.


I still have in the back of my mind that I will leave when DD is 18 (6more years) so I can tolerate DH more although too be fair since he got ill he has not done the emotional affairs which he had done in the past.


I have always told him that I will never forgive or forget anything he has done - it takes a better woman to forgive her husband after an affair. I know people do forgive but I can't.


Blinkin' men!! I'll join you with the plodding :grouphug: (excuse dodgy hug!!)

Eager_Elephant

Alice_in_Poorland wrote: »

Thank you granny and Verbatim,

Granny the first line is exactly how I feel....alone. Nobody in RL knows about the state of our relationship or our debt (keeping the debt situation a secret doesn't help, although think my parents have got an inkling), I'm so grateful for you guys on here.

Its good to hear that your relationship with OH is better. I do hope we can turn the corner. I've said this before I'm not sure if it's because he's ill, depressed or even if he wants to leave.....he's had plenty of chances.

Don't get me wrong it's not all doom and gloom, we have some great times but it can be really tough at times too and I have to bite my tongue.....much to often for my liking.

Anyway I will try and keep my diary focused on the debt busting. Perhaps things will sort themselves out once the pressure of the debt has gone.

Xx

If DH and I have an off day I always give him the chance to leave - he always refuses!! Probably because I do everything for him:rotfl:


I like Granny's comments about your own happiness - I try to do this as well. I am very content in my life and DH is just a small part of my life so therefore I still have a lot to be happy with.


I know it is difficult to bite your tongue but again I try to follow the mantra about not being able to change the person so we have to change our own reaction and this is what I do with DH. If he is laying on the sofa watching TV then I will do my own thing - usually on the internet on here or if he's really annoyed me I wash up loudly in the next room:rotfl:


This is your diary Alice, if you want to keep it debt related that's fine but equally if you need to sound off about DH just do it.


My diary on here is mainly debt but sometimes rants about DH as it helps to get it off my chest!!

grannyx2

Eager_Elephant wrote: »

I know it is difficult to bite your tongue but again I try to follow the mantra about not being able to change the person so we have to change our own reaction and this is what I do with DH.

this statement is so true and once you accept that it somehow becomes easier

If he is laying on the sofa watching TV then I will do my own thing - usually on the internet on here or if he's really annoyed me I wash up loudly in the next room:rotfl:
This is what I do too, it calms me down and he usually apologises the following day. Better if he didn't create an atmosphere in the first place but hey ho

This is your diary Alice, if you want to keep it debt related that's fine but equally if you need to sound off about DH just do it. thats exactly what I was going to say. If you need to talk to us to help you feel better we don't care what the subject is, we just care about you x


My diary on here is mainly debt but sometimes rants about DH as it helps to get it off my chest!!

Mine is very rarely about debt these days and to be honest I make no apologies for that, it's what I need to talk about so I do.

I hope you've had a good Sunday and have a good week x

Alice_in_Poorland

EE and Granny thank you so much for your kind words and support. I'm feeling quite overwhelmed by it all.

I'm definitely going to take your advice on board and this week I am going to try really hard and ignore OH when gets to me.

He is trying to get into the doctors this week as he has a problem with his hand......I wonder if he has the start of arthritis (his knuckles are swollen and he has restricted movement).....I would really like him to mention to the doctor his forgetfulness and his lack of interest in things, and the fact that he never seems to get upset or worried about anything (at bit trivial but he still doesn't walk the dog yet always make sure she is well fed and watered). But I don't think he'd mention it anyway.....we'll see.:(

xx