Sorry to rant like this but am I wrong to be so angry?

Melonade

I can understand why your upset and also why your husband doesn't want to travel. Spending money on a holiday is another issue though.... a money issue. Have you spoken about travelling somewere in the UK? I know some people have mentioned Center Parcs and I agree 100 %. It's supposed to be amazing, a family friend takes her grandchildren twice a year and they LOVE it. I think if you talk it through he might think the break would be good for you all, specially after some of the stresses you've all dealt with.

As for the coffee... well it was a bit naughty but come on people it wasn't the crime of the century. I wouldn't be happy if OH done that to me and a nice apology wouldn't go amiss but she didn't throw the cold coffee AND the mug.

I hope you can both sit down and talk things through... money/holiday/coffee

make_me_wise

[QUOTE=katiecoodle;48249233I am so cross I have just thrown cold coffee all over him and now he's in a mood with me....how dare he? Or am I wrong??? Am I really wrong???
:mad::mad::mad:[/QUOTE]

OP your post is a wind up right. I was going to try to offer a bit of advice till I got to the bit above. Is this normal in your house? Have an argument, hear something you dont like, Hmmm how to handle this... throw a cold cuppa over him.

I think the last of your worries are where to take the kids while they believe in Santa. You want to calm down love or your husband will be using some of that 16k to pay for a divorce :rotfl:

PinotGrigio41

Oh Katie I can really feel your frustration and I'm sure the coffee incident was exactly that.........frustration at your current situation. Right or wrong what's done is done. I do agree with many other posters that you husband is probably worried about spending the money incase another rainy day comes , but this I'm sure hasn't been easy for you either and you sound like you need a break. Lapland is great but pricey, quite a long journey ir a short amount of time and please also bear in mind that should you be delayed your time in Lapland could be drastically reduced. I have worked in the industry and on some of the cheaper packages was a common problem . I dint know where you are based but hype park, Somerset house, ice skating at the tower or London and maybe take in a pant are all wonderful and fun Xmas events for kids. We have done this every Xmas for our children the eldest is nearly 14 and she is still looking forward to this years trip . Maybe put the money towards a lovely holiday to make up or Egypt next year when things h!ček settled and your husbands help has improved.

bobajob_1966

PinotGrigio41 wrote: »

Oh Katie I can really feel your frustration and I'm sure the coffee incident was exactly that.........frustration at your current situation. Right or wrong what's done is done.

Is this now a valid defence to domestic violence?

QuackQuackOops

katiecoodle wrote: »

Sorry if its in the wrong place, just need to vent I guess.
A few years ago DH was involved in a car accident & as a result had to have 2 operations before he was fit enough to work. Since Jan this year he's been able to work and it seemed like our being really really frugal was coming to an end. Then in May he was awarded an out of court settlement and received £20K. We booked a holiday (our first EVER) with the kids & ended up away in June.
After 1 day, DH fell ill. In hindsight he was probably ill before we went but being away made him worse. He had serious anxiety issues which led to prostratitis and he ended up in a hospital in Egypt and also needed some emergency dental treatment while we were there! Meanwhile both kids fell ill & my holiday of a lifetime was a complete and utter washout. We came home a week early because he just couldn't handle being away from the UK.
We promised the children that we would give them another holiday before the year was out because we recognised that they had missed out.
(as an aside the insurance company are being difficult about refunding any money due to a technicality, so it looks like the money we spent on the holiday was completely wasted now)
When we returned to the UK his anxiety issues persisted & he ended up spending a further £1000 at least on private doctors, seeking 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th opinions on a vague head pain he was suffering with. He has now been diagnosed with depression & is so much better and is back at work.
Now, I am furious because I want to take the kids to lapland in December (they're 8 and 5 so possibly the last time it will seem real for the oldest) and he is saying stuff like "its a waste of money" and "you won't be happy until all that money is spent" and "we can't afford it", despite there being £16K left!!!
I am so cross I have just thrown cold coffee all over him and now he's in a mood with me....how dare he? Or am I wrong??? Am I really wrong???
:mad::mad::mad:

I

Yes you are. Really really wrong.
This post sounds as though you are acting like a complete selfish, uncaring wife rather than someone who wants the best for her family.
If I were him Id be asking how dare you? To make it worse, you cover your selfishness up by saying "its for the children".
Disgracful way to behave.

meritaten

throwing a cup of cold coffee is domestic violence?
I can just see that in court...........m'lud The accused threw a cup of cold coffee at the plaintiff.....soaking him - no, m'lud, it was cold, he wasnt burned or harmed in any way...........!!!

bobajob_1966

meritaten wrote: »

throwing a cup of cold coffee is domestic violence?
I can just see that in court...........m'lud The accused threw a cup of cold coffee at the plaintiff.....soaking him - no, m'lud, it was cold, he wasnt burned or harmed in any way...........!!!

It is an assault. That is a criminal offence.

meritaten

The accused (sorry- I mean the OP) was having a row and threw cold coffee! sooooooooo.
she feels that since the last holiday was ruined by forces beyond thier control they should make it up to the kids by a 'special treat'. ie Lapland.
I can understand that!
But I would warn OP that the Lapland trips are generally not thought to be very good value for money. My sisters friend (who isnt short of money by any means) took her then seven year old and it cost over £4000 for the week and as the weather deteriorated Santa had to make his appearance in thier hotel! they werent impressed - Sisters friend said it was boring and her daughter was so disappointed they didnt go to visit Santa in his Igloo! (I didnt know they had Igloos in Lapland!)

busiscoming2

I can see the OP's point of view. I know from personal experience how wearing and worrying it can be looking after an ill partner. After getting through all that the dream holiday to Egypt turned into a nightmare.

OP I do think your husbands fear of being away from the UK should be taken into account, so maybe a holiday somewhere in the UK would be preferable?

Bitsy_Beans

bobajob_1966 wrote: »

It is an assault. That is a criminal offence.

Common assault relies on the victim apprehending immediate and unlawful personal violence. Basically if the husband wasn't fearful was there in fact any assault? It would seem not in the eyes of the law.

But let's not perspective get in the way of a good MSE bashing