Betrayal my Husband - flirting online

oojeyboojey

Oh this sounds like a really stressful and upsetting situation. I guess nobody else can really tell you what to do about this since it's completely your decision, but if I were you, I'd seek counselling as a matter of urgency, for both you and your husband and the two of you together. It sounds like he has some issues that he needs to work through.

I would be utterly devastated if I found out my hubby had been doing this, but he's such a skinflint that he'd never pay £10 per month for an online service! However if I found he'd done something like this, I'd try to understand and work through it with him.

Good luck and I hope you're ok!

nickyhutch

oojeyboojey wrote: »

Oh this sounds like a really stressful and upsetting situation. I guess nobody else can really tell you what to do about this since it's completely your decision, but if I were you, I'd seek counselling as a matter of urgency, for both you and your husband and the two of you together. It sounds like he has some issues that he needs to work through.

I would be utterly devastated if I found out my hubby had been doing this, but he's such a skinflint that he'd never pay £10 per month for an online service! However if I found he'd done something like this, I'd try to understand and work through it with him.

Good luck and I hope you're ok!

You'd try to understand that he'd been looking for random sex with strangers and telling them he was unhappy with you? You're a braver woman than me.

Padstow

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

I'm glad I don't live your life.

I would never settle for a bad relationship in which I was treated with a complete lack of respect, rather than be single.

Of course, my OH is far from perfect. And we do have to deal with running our household, paying our bills, bringing up our 6 year old. That's reality, that's real life.

And of course OH annoys me sometimes. I annoy him too. We're not perfect, we're human. And humans can be incredibly irritating.

But he brightens my life. My life is a sunnier and happier place because he's in it. If that ceased to be true as a general rule, and he didn't treat me with respect and love, what would be the point of being in a relationship?

I hope your sun shines on you forever and a day. He may though be cheating on you. How would you know?

I see posts that state "My hubby would never cheat." Oh yes he would. However, he probably has a nine to five job with no opportunity.

"I would throw him out." Really?
The reason I doubt this , is so many regular posting women, come here under an assumed name once their h's cheat.,

Some posters then who thought their H's would never cheat, obviously have.

So my message is to all who think their h's would never cheat, and God forbid if they did, they'd be sent packing without any explanation. ( Yeah as iff.)
They would if they could.

I'll add one other thought. How do you know he's never cheated?
You know I always say that once caught doesnt mean it his first offence.

Slowdown

Its easy to think the lines are so blurred when there has been no physical act of disloyalty. Why is that? Is not the emotional side of life that we live so consistently, day in, day out at least as important? Why are we so much more willing to allow someone to betray our minds and feelings than our bodies? The act of betrayal is the crossing of a line in a relationship that has been drawn in the sand by the parties involved. The partners can creep up to that line, even place their toes on it, but the moment they cross it they lose their integrity and the trust of the partner. And thats exactly how it should be.
However, whether the relationship is then doomed is certainly up for debate. What we may do ourselves may not necessarily be the chosen path of another.
It seems to me you both need outside intervention to sort this out. Neither of you can see the woods for the trees and no amount of online discussion will sort this out for you.
There are many organisations and councillors out their to provide support and guidance but of course you both need to recognise that this is not normal behaviour and have to agree to address it.
Putting forward this idea shows you value your relationship and are still interested in making it work and your OH reaction will similarly indicate how much he values both it and you in turn.
I wish you the very best of luck in this situation and hope whatever happens turns out to be the best solution for the whole family.
Kind regards
Slowdown

System

Wow Padstow and I thought I'd become cynical!

victory

Padstow wrote: »

I



You know I always say that once caught doesnt mean it his first offence.

What does that mean?

DUTR

victory wrote: »

What does that mean?

It means simly that he (they) have never been caught out fully.

victory

Thanks;)...........................

neverdespairgirl

Padstow wrote: »

I hope your sun shines on you forever and a day. He may though be cheating on you. How would you know?

I see posts that state "My hubby would never cheat." Oh yes he would. However, he probably has a nine to five job with no opportunity.

"I would throw him out." Really?

I don't know my OH isn't cheating. I trust him, and believe he isn't, and think he treats me with respect and love.

I don't know what he is doing and where he is with 100% of the time - I'm his partner, not his gaoler!

If I did discover he was cheating on me, I'd take it from there and deal with it. But I'm certainly not going to assume he is, and act like a policewoman. I'd rather enjoy life and love than assume the worst all the time.

property.advert

pinkshoes wrote: »

Cheating doesn't have to be physical!

Clearly the guy doesn't want to be with you any more, as why else would he list himself as "unhappily married"?

I'd tell him to pack a bag and move out, as you're not a door mat, have given him one chance already, and you need some space.

They are skint, can't afford £10 a month it seems and you are suggesting they split up and presumably throw themselves on the state (aka me and my fellow taxpayers) because they are unhappy, cannot communicate and have a less than ideal sex life ? You do know the country is broke don't you ?

They have to grow up and realise that him hiding behind this and her getting all upset about it is not going to resolve the situation and if they don't stop pu55y footing around and start communicating in a language the other can understand and relate to, then they are just going to become another statistic when in reality, there is little wrong to begin with.

It needs to be far far worse than a bloke putting a line up on a website saying he is unhappily married before I want to start shelling out more benefits for this or any other family.