Betrayal my Husband - flirting online

nickyhutch

DUTR wrote: »

I'm sure as there is always a positive resolve, running away and packing him in, is not always the winning way, few want to admit beign single sometimes is rubbish So is, I imagine, living with someone who's chatting up randoms online behind your back. . Especially with xmas coming up n stuff, besides that, he maybe just talking and not being physical So? "Just talking" about sex with someone else is a betrayal. , but from the OP there is little evidence that they themselves are having their own quality time between them, and everything is about bills and children, phht if I was in his shoes living the same life, I'm semi confident I would soon be having an affair . Or i would not be 'shocked' if my partner ended up having an affair.

Me neither. That's my point, though. He's on a meeting-up-for-sex website, calling himself unhappy with his wife. To me, that's an end-of-relationship act. What ever he did to change it, however penitent he was, however many promises he made never to do it again, would make no difference, because he's done what he's done (for whatever reason), and I couldn't get past that.

FatVonD

Definite sackable offence in my book.

Would your OH be happy if you were on the site posting pics of your bits online, telling people you weren't happy with him and talking dirty with strangers?

You know what you need to do, don't drive yourself insane staying with someone you can't trust, you deserve better than that and so do your children

gratefulforhelp_2

Seanymph wrote: »

Why? It's easier to turn a blind eye to your husband spending his spare time talking to other women and paying them attention rather than you if he empties the dishwasher regularly?

While I didn't really mean the emptying of the dishwasher...maybe.

nickyhutch

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

While I didn't really mean the emptying of the dishwasher...maybe.

Really? Your partner sneaking around behind your back is more forgivable if he pulls his weight around the house and buys you the odd bunch of flowers?

neverdespairgirl

DUTR wrote: »

I'm sure as there is always a positive resolve, running away and packing him in, is not always the winning way, few want to admit beign single sometimes is rubbish. Especially with xmas coming up n stuff, besides that, he maybe just talking and not being physical , but from the OP there is little evidence that they themselves are having their own quality time between them, and everything is about bills and children, phht if I was in his shoes living the same life, I'm semi confident I would soon be having an affair . Or i would not be 'shocked' if my partner ended up having an affair.

I'm glad I don't live your life.

I would never settle for a bad relationship in which I was treated with a complete lack of respect, rather than be single.

Of course, my OH is far from perfect. And we do have to deal with running our household, paying our bills, bringing up our 6 year old. That's reality, that's real life.

And of course OH annoys me sometimes. I annoy him too. We're not perfect, we're human. And humans can be incredibly irritating.

But he brightens my life. My life is a sunnier and happier place because he's in it. If that ceased to be true as a general rule, and he didn't treat me with respect and love, what would be the point of being in a relationship?

neverdespairgirl

nickyhutch wrote: »

I'm afraid my OH would be out on his ear and down the road if I found out he'd done this. I wouldn't even give him the chance to explain. Explain what, exactly? That he'd done something, knowing from previous experience that I found it heartbreaking? That he'd called himself "happily unmarried"? That he'd had saucy, secret chats with other women behind my back?

There's no explanation for that other than "I want other women" or "I want attention from other women", both of which don't fit in with my idea of a happy relationship. I'd be telling him he obviously isn't happy and fulfilled, and I don't want to live with someone I don't make happy or fulfill.

I couldn't agree with you more.

And those posts (not yours, at all) which imply that it's the OP's fault for being dull, wanting to raise her children and run her household, miss the point completely, IMO.

For some people, one loving partnership isn't enough. For whatever reason, they want and seek outside attention as an ego boast. That doesn't mean the OP isn't loving, sexy, good looking, and a wonderful partner. Some people are like a leaky bucket, and however much attention and love they get from their partners, it leaks out too fast for any one person to replace.

DUTR

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

I'm glad I don't live your life.

I would never settle for a bad relationship in which I was treated with a complete lack of respect, rather than be single.

Of course, my OH is far from perfect. And we do have to deal with running our household, paying our bills, bringing up our 6 year old. That's reality, that's real life.

And of course OH annoys me sometimes. I annoy him too. We're not perfect, we're human. And humans can be incredibly irritating.

But he brightens my life. My life is a sunnier and happier place because he's in it. If that ceased to be true as a general rule, and he didn't treat me with respect and love, what would be the point of being in a relationship?

That is the point, I'm not defending the Op's partner, I would not settle for a a relationship where I'm better off single, all I mentioned is that it seems like everything has stopped to perform solely mundane tasks in life, everyday cannot be an exciting adventure, but everyday should not be 'ordinary'

neverdespairgirl

DUTR wrote: »

That is the point, I'm not defending the Op's partner, I would not settle for a a relationship where I'm better off single, all I mentioned is that it seems like everything has stopped to perform solely mundane tasks in life, everyday cannot be an exciting adventure, but everyday should not be 'ordinary'

Of course everyday can be an exciting adventure! It's life, and can be as exciting as you want it to be.

victory

It really is inexcusable to blame the day to day dulldrumage of life to go off into fantasy cyber space and justify it, that will only make you turn round and see that the person you are with has left and you have more than enough time now to go onto fantasy land 24/7 if you so please

deb68_2

(((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

didnt want to read an run,
am thinking of you,hope you are ok?
this is not your fault you are not the one in the wrong,you didnt take pics of yourself,

You were not on a site looking for sex,you didnt say you were un happily married you were probably at home looking after your kids
an doing the day to day things

I 100% understand, how you feel, I dont have much advice to give you except to say
Trusting him again will be very hard,
take some time for yourself
look at it, as if it happened to a friend what would you be saying to her/him?

thinking of you
take care
love deb