Is this rude, or is it just me?!?

Mme.Hibou

patchwork_cat wrote: »

It is disgusting that people turn up without a present, too. Have had this too even had one woman come to my baby shower without a gift and definitely no RSVP.

Okay we didn't ask for presents when we got married, no gift list or anything, but I had a couple of friends and my sister who didn't give us a card or present, and all of them are fairly artistic so could have rustled something up. We only invited around 60 people for the whole day, they were fed and all drinks were provided. I even paid for my sister's dress, shoes and accessories. It'll be 2 years in December ... not that I hold a grudge or anything :whistle:

victory

No card:eek: I have always made sure my DS takes a present and a card as someone said poundland do fab things it does not have to be expensive and often in this house is not but it is usable and fun and the kids normally love it and are happy to recieve it and a card what 59 p at clinton cards or 10 for a £1, as for not RSVP happens all the time unfortunately:D

bestpud

I think it more unusual to receive RSVPs now, from experience and reading various threads like this online.

Love the idea of not telling people where it will be held!

I've not heard of people turning up without a card or present though! That's bad!

DD went to a party without a gift once, as I got a bit mixed up and didn't leave time to buy one, but she gave a card and we explained that the gift was to follow.

We also took a gift into school when dd couldn't attend a party as she was ill on the day.

Did you make it clear the party was a birthday one for both children? I ask as my children have received some ambiguous invites before now and I've not been sure if it was one birthday, two birthdays, or just a party!

onlyroz

I'm astonished that so many of you think that your child is entitled to a present from everybody that gets invited to the party. Comments like "all the presents were crap" are really quite shocking. Surely you invite people to a party for the pleasure of their company, and not just to get a pressie...

MarilynMonroe_2

I find it sad that a kid came without a card. The kid might even have been embarrassed about it themselves.

How times have changed though, what ever happeend to just having a party at home, no one seems to do that these days. I bet it would take a lot off stress away and be a hell of a lot cheaper.

Bella56

I've seen a birthday party where 10 were expected (and paid for) and ONE showed up. It was so awful and the parents had spent over £100. Not to mention how disappointed and embarrased the child was.

We only invite close friends, and keep it casual (party at home, homemade food, Costco cake). Low key means fewer chances of being disappointed

bestpud

onlyroz wrote: »

I'm astonished that so many of you think that your child is entitled to a present from everybody that gets invited to the party. Comments like "all the presents were crap" are really quite shocking. Surely you invite people to a party for the pleasure of their company, and not just to get a pressie...

I thought that comment was a bit off too!

I do think it is expected that people will bring at least a card though - it's the done thing!

Personally, I can't imagine turning up to a party without some sort of a gift for the host (even if only a little bar of chocolate tucked inside the card).

My children have received a card only before now and have always been happy with that, but I've never had a child turn up without anything.

I'm not sure people hold parties just for the gifts tbh. I often see people make that correlation but I can't see it myself.

Amara

Mme.Hibou wrote: »

Okay we didn't ask for presents when we got married, no gift list or anything, but I had a couple of friends and my sister who didn't give us a card or present, and all of them are fairly artistic so could have rustled something up. We only invited around 60 people for the whole day, they were fed and all drinks were provided. I even paid for my sister's dress, shoes and accessories. It'll be 2 years in December ... not that I hold a grudge or anything :whistle:

Something similar happened to us: DH's "friend", he's known him since always, lived on the same street ,went to school together. He turned up on our wedding with no present,no card, nothing, but went quite drunk on reception.

Sublime_2

I make a point of asking the parents who haven't replied, so I have an idea of numbers/cost.

I've never known a child to come without a card, and present. Once someone said they'd forgotten the present, but it didn't matter. Think they popped £5 the next day, I said not to bother, as really wasn't concerned. Think they might have been a bit short of cash. The thought was there, and that was what mattered.

Abbafan1972

I always do RSVP to invites. A lot of them have had mobile numbers on, so I've been able to text the reply. Even if it wasn't I would always send the tear off bit back off the invite.

I do usually take a card and a small gift. It depends how well I know the child, at the very least a card. My youngest dd went to the party of a friend from nursery, I didn't know him from Adam, let alone his mother. So I just went with a card, and I was the only one with just a card, everyone else had presents .

I do think parents arrange these parties just as a ploy to get presents though:mad:. But they will never get an expensive presents off me, it's always no more than a fiver (including the card). I try to get something educational or useful.

Saying "all the presents were crap" is disgraceful by the way, so ungrateful.

With regard to parents leaving the kids there, I always check the situation with this first and make provisions to stay if I need to. I don't think of it as a "free babysitting service" as many parents often do.