Is this rude, or is it just me?!?

gratefulforhelp_2

It happens here, frequently. Some people also randomly bring their other offspring without a word in advance, not single parents either.

And...there is one parent who dumps the kid 45 minutes before the party starts and picks up late regularly.

zippybungle

This has happened lots to me (people not replying to party invites). I know it's the child that looses out (and it's not their fault) but I don't invite them again if they don't reply.

As for not bringing even a card, I think that is horrible.

Zippy x

marywooyeah

I think its rude that they didnt RSVP, a lot of parties are paid for by head these days and if someone doesnt RSVP but turns up then that can either result in the host incurring extra costs or having to turn people away. Whilst I also agree that times are hard, a card is a token if they can't afford a present and its rude not to bring anything at all - we had relatives come to our wedding and not even bring a card which I found quite rude seeing as we had paid for them to have a big meal and cake etc and put on entertainment for them.

AppleTurnover

I've had all this nonsense over the years as well. Not saying if they're coming or not, dropping off early, picking up late, no pressie or card.

If they did turn up without replying to the invitation, I would always make a big loud fuss when they arrived............"oooh, I'm so pleased you came - your mummy/mummies didn't tell me you were coming!"

And then, more quietly, "good job we've got room for one/two more, eh mummy/mummies."

Usually made sure that they let me know the following time.

Fitzio

I think it is inconsiderate not to rsvp, but not necessarily unusual these days. Did you give people the option to text/phone with a reply? I know it's not the traditional thing, but in the age of technology when everything can be done instantly, I think it suits people better. Even wedding invitations I have received this year have the option to text/e-mail an RSVP (although I always buy an acceptance card for weddings).
And I do find it strange to turn up to a party empty handed. I was at a surprise party for someone from work last week and although I had put into their collection at work, I still took a bottle of wine as it's rude to go empty handed!

Moominmamma

Thanks for the replies everybody - I feel vindicated now, which has restored my faith in common courtesy and cheered me up - I thought perhaps I was being a bit uppity.

In response to some of your questions me and the other mum had been liasing throughout, so there were definitely only that number of replies. The invitations had both of our mobile numbers on, so texting was an option, as was just nabbing one of us in the playground and saying X was or wasn't coming - I wasn't expecting finest monogrammed note paper with a wax seal or anything

DH was all "if you're name's not on the list you're not coming in!", but fortunately he was ill so wasn't at the venue to forcibly refuse entry to little 8 and 9 year olds whose parents' manners are somewhat lacking :rotfl:

We did have just about enough food to eke out for everyone, but only because we'd both over-catered. I made nearly double the amount of cupcakes I thought we needed, and there still weren't quite enough to go round, and what bugs me is that it's not necessarily the kids that didn't respond, and turned up empty handed, that didn't get one. We also had to re-jig the party bags to make sure there were enough to go around.

And yes, I was, tbh, particuarly outraged by the ones who didn't even bring a card. Quite a few of dd's cards were homemade, and they were really lovely, so surely even the ones who were completely brassic could have had the forethought to get their kids to make/draw one?

Anyway, thanks once again for indulging my little rant peeps, I'll invite you lot instead next year

Katinkka

My son recently had a party at a cost of £140! One girl didn't rsvp and still turned up but I'd done plenty of party bags with some spares for tag along siblings. We didn't do too badly but a a good percentage of the presents were crap. I always buy nice presents and it annoys me when people don't.

bigmomma051204

Grr - really irritating!

My little boys party is in a few weeks - hope i dont have the same hassles lol...


I am a bit paranoid lol, so in the past i have always made sure i have enough party bags for everyone who is invited. Same with food etc. Just in case! In the past i had a child turn up who had replied saying they werent able to come to the party. Party starts - who should turn up lol.. didnt matter too much as i had overcatered etc as i said..... his mum gave me some garbled explanation about how he was double booked with another party but then that party had been cancelled as birthday child was ill. Fair enough BUT why not txt me the night before etc as soon as she knew just to give me some warning!!! :cool: As for people turning up without a pressie or card, that is pretty cr*ppy - i can understand that there are lots out there who wouldnt be able to afford a pressie but could still make a card!! Also, in honesty, most people can afford to go to the pound shop and spend a quid!

Janepig

My experience has always been that the people who don't rsvp don't turn up. Which is okay, albeit somewhat rude. Also, parents always stay with their offspring (except for one house party DS went to recently). If there is an issue that means that a parent can't stay with their child then they'll always ask another parent to keep an eye - I've done this myself. When people bring siblings, in fairness, they do usually ask, I always ask if one of mine has to tag along, and they never expect a party bag. We obviously quite polite around here!

Oh and what I've tended to notice with DD and DS's parties is that it's always the same kids who make the effort to turn up, and the same kids whose parents never bring them.

Jx

Kay_Peel

Here's a practical suggestion for all you mums

Gary Barlow's 7th Birthday Party

Time: 1-4pm
Date: 30th October 2011
Place: Secret Location
Phone me/see me for details

Phone number: xxxxxxxxxxxx
Name: Kay Barlow (Mum)

Only those who make contact get to know where to drop their children off.

I got this idea after having to cancel an event due to lack of responses. I informed all the people who had replied to me. I had a right old laugh to myself when I heard from the venue that people had turned up in their posh frocks and best suits anyway! Obviously, they hadn't bothered to reply or they would have been on my list.:rotfl: