Cant afford to attend sisters wedding abroad.

Hermia

pollypenny wrote: »

We had the opposite happen. Sister planned a small wedding for April. We booked our holiday ( OH had no choice of time).

Wedding was changed to Summer, when we were away. She went bananas when we couldn't change! Of course, we could have lost the money we'd paid.

A friend of mine got married at short notice and then went mental when some people couldn't come because they already had things booked. I think some brides forget that whilst it may be the most important day of their life no one else feels like that!

candygirl

My OH's Sis got married abroad earlier this year, and there's been a massive hoo ha cos we simply couldn't afford to go.She said if it was her she'd fine a way:eek::eek:Short of robbing a bank I don't see how we could've done this due to lack of work , and other financial issues at the mo:(:(
One of his Aunties stuck her neb in and told SIL the reason we weren't going was cos I didn't like her:eek::eek:
Thankfully after a frank discussion between me, OH and SIL the sh1te stirrers were ousted, and the whole thing has now been sorted:D
If you can't afford to go just say so right now, it's no crime to be skint:D:D:Dand tbh if you choose to get wed abroad, you always risk a lot of peeps not being able to make it, for all sorts of reasons:D

JBD

When I got married one of my brothers and one of my sisters couldn't come, due to things going on in their own lives. I was disappointed but I accepted it.
It's just one of those things really, sometimes even very close family can't drop everything to fit in with our plans.

Moufflon5

I am getting married in Vegas next year, I would have happily gone just the two of us both OH wanted to invite people so we have. Some can come, some can't, due to various reasons, money, work (teachers and holiday in term time), other things they want to do etc. You can't expect people to go, although it's nice if they want to come and can afford to. Luckily quite a few of our friends have always wanted to go to Vegas, so they are combining it, a holiday one day of which will be earmarked for our wedding.....but as for the ones who can't come/don't want to come I can't have an issue with it as it's our choice to go thousands of miles away!

I won't be made to have a party when we get back though, if I wanted a reception in the UK I would have had one and not gone to Vegas. But that's my choice, I can understand why people do it but it's not for me.

PS Depending on the relationship....if it were my brother that couldn't afford to attend (or didn't want to spend his money on attending) and I was forking out the not insubstantial amount of money to go and have the wedding abroad, I would find the extra and pay for him and consider it a cost of my wedding. But that's just my relationship with my brother.....

candygirl

Moufflon5 wrote: »

I am getting married in Vegas next year, I would have happily gone just the two of us both OH wanted to invite people so we have. Some can come, some can't, due to various reasons, money, work (teachers and holiday in term time), other things they want to do etc. You can't expect people to go, although it's nice if they want to come and can afford to. Luckily quite a few of our friends have always wanted to go to Vegas, so they are combining it, a holiday one day of which will be earmarked for our wedding.....but as for the ones who can't come/don't want to come I can't have an issue with it as it's our choice to go thousands of miles away!

I won't be made to have a party when we get back though, if I wanted a reception in the UK I would have had one and not gone to Vegas. But that's my choice, I can understand why people do it but it's not for me.

PS Depending on the relationship....if it were my brother that couldn't afford to attend (or didn't want to spend his money on attending) and I was forking out the not insubstantial amount of money to go and have the wedding abroad, I would find the extra and pay for him and consider it a cost of my wedding. But that's just my relationship with my brother.....

I would too hun, but OH's family are very "careful" with money;)

Moufflon5

Weddings are such a minefield aren't they! I think the only thing people could really agree on here is that it's very unfair of the OP's sister to make her feel bad if she can't afford to go, especially if she really wants to and it's just down to the £££, she's as disappointed as they are but financial circumstances can't be magically changed (otherwise there would be no MSE and we wouldn't all be on here....imagine that!!!)

claire16c

candygirl wrote: »

If you can't afford to go just say so right now, it's no crime to be skint:D:D:Dand tbh if you choose to get wed abroad, you always risk a lot of peeps not being able to make it, for all sorts of reasons:D

I agree. And often that is a good thing that certain people cant come :rotfl:Its definitely a huge benefit of getting married abroad. Only the people who really want to be there will come. But you can invite everyone so solves that issue, that I see so many people having because great aunt such and such who they havent seen in 25 years wasnt invited.

Moufflon5 wrote: »

I am getting married in Vegas next year, I would have happily gone just the two of us both OH wanted to invite people so we have. Some can come, some can't, due to various reasons, money, work (teachers and holiday in term time), other things they want to do etc. You can't expect people to go, although it's nice if they want to come and can afford to. Luckily quite a few of our friends have always wanted to go to Vegas, so they are combining it, a holiday one day of which will be earmarked for our wedding.....but as for the ones who can't come/don't want to come I can't have an issue with it as it's our choice to go thousands of miles away!

I won't be made to have a party when we get back though, if I wanted a reception in the UK I would have had one and not gone to Vegas. But that's my choice, I can understand why people do it but it's not for me.

PS Depending on the relationship....if it were my brother that couldn't afford to attend (or didn't want to spend his money on attending) and I was forking out the not insubstantial amount of money to go and have the wedding abroad, I would find the extra and pay for him and consider it a cost of my wedding. But that's just my relationship with my brother.....

I agree. We decided that for my DH mum if she hadnt been able to save the money we were going to pay the rest for her. But we never needed to in the end.

I didnt have a party either. We were asked by a couple of DHs family who didnt come when were we having a party. It was just an excuse for them to get drunk one weekend at some tacky disco which was one of the things I avoided by going away in the first place! So no we were not putting one on just for them.

fluffnutter

Expecting your guests to fork out many hundreds or thousands of pounds for your wedding is the height of arrogance. When I married I didn't want my guests to have to spend a penny. Sure, if they wanted to buy a new frock or hat that was up to them but we asked for no presents, laid on transport between the church and the restaurant where we had our reception and then home again for everyone, plus an entirely free bar (£800 on champagne alone :eek:).

But they were my guests and I wanted to treat them. I had a wonderful evening surrounded by my loved ones. I wouldn't have enjoyed it one little bit if I thought everyone resented being there. I'm sorry but I don't understand this 'It's MY day, sod the rest of you' attitude that some brides (perhaps grooms too!) seem to have.

FattyBettyBoo

I have a step sister on my mum's side of the family and a half sister on my Dad's and they have both announced they are getting married abroad next year. It would be hard to afford 1 never mind 2. And now both have promised my DD that she can be bridesmaid aarrggghhhhh!!

I understand that people want their big day to be special but brides can get very selfish and blinkered.

Person_one

claire16c wrote: »

Youd have to have a pretty bad relationship with a sibling to buy a new sofa over going to their wedding!! Thats awful.

I think 150pppn is a crazy cost and Id never pay that though. Id just stay somewhere cheaper.

You could equally say you'd be a pretty bad sibling to expect your sister to shell out thousands of her hard earned cash to see you get married and get shirty when she wasn't thrilled at the prospect.

What if she had no sofa because the old one broke? Is it awful then?