Cant afford to attend sisters wedding abroad.

melancholly

coffeebeen wrote: »

I totally agree that it's selfish for the bride and groom to expect people to go, I just take issue with others saying that anyone wanting to get married abroad is selfish too.

oh i agree - but i think most posts on here are about the OPs situation and probably wouldn't apply more generally..... context and all that! it really is about those who expect people to want to go. (or maybe that's my rose tinted glasses that i'm wearing today )

neverdespairgirl

coffeebeen wrote: »

Although some people are saying it's selfish, I think the bride and groom are entitled to do whatever they want for THEIR wedding- just not expect others to feel the same. The guests are perfectly entitled not to want to go.

The selfishness comes in, I reckon, when the people expect guests to attend, and get all huffy if they don't.

scottishchick27

Stephb1986 wrote: »

I'm getting married in a few years time, me and h2b have found a lovely venue in the lake district but we're also keeping our options open as he's just found out he is being made redundant early next year The hotel we love in the lakes is £150 pppn but we would get a room discount off the hotel for the wedding, h2b's sister has already said she won't be staying at the hotel as it's far too expensive for her the sad thing is, is that last year she paid to be at her friends wedding in the dominican republic and she won't pay something that is no where near the same price for her own brothers wedding.

We went to a wedding show over the weekend and got an awful lot of information one which was rather interesting was these yacht weddings in Cyprus they look lovely for the amount of guest numbers we would have would be £4000 cheaper to get married in Cyprus than it would be here in the UK. Who has £4000 to throw away I don't and I'm sure alot of other people don't either.

Like I said we're keeping our options open but I think it's sad that she's no prepared to pay a small amount to be at her brothers wedding.

I can see from the OP's point of view that if she can't afford it she can't afford it, it's a real shame maybe if the op's sister does decide to get married abroad that she can have a lovely meal somewhere and show her the wedding video when she gets back. It's not the same but atleast the op wouldn't be missing out compleatly.

Steph xx

To be honest I would be the same as your SIL. £150pppn would mean a cost of £600 for a couple, or £900 if DD came too, for two nights in a hotel :eek: We could have a week abroad for that. I'd still go to the wedding but I'd book a nearby travelodge to sleep in.

Stephb1986_2

coffeebeen wrote: »

Stephb1986, do you think it might be her circumstances have just changed? It might seem odd to you, but maybe she just had more money to spend at the time of her friends wedding than she does at the moment? It might be purely down to financial circumstances, nothing hurtful.

Coffee xx

If anything her circumstances have improved she didn't have a job then and was on benefits now she has a job and is currently on holiday.

I'm just saying I don't think it's fair that she's happy to pay probably thousands on her friends wedding but not a few hundred quid on her own brothers. She has just over 2 years to save if she really wants to.

Just shows you can choose your friends not your family.

Steph xx

Person_one

Stephb1986 wrote: »

If anything her circumstances have improved she didn't have a job then and was on benefits now she has a job and is currently on holiday.

I'm just saying I don't think it's fair that she's happy to pay probably thousands on her friends wedding but not a few hundred quid on her own brothers. She has just over 2 years to save if she really wants to.

Just shows you can choose your friends not your family.

Steph xx

The bolded really irritates me I'm afraid, why do you think you get to decide what other people save for? Maybe she'd rather save for a new car, a new sofa, for a dream holiday with her own family, for a rainy day or for her kids uni funds.

Since when do we get a say on how other people spend their money?

euronorris

Stephb1986 wrote: »

If anything her circumstances have improved she didn't have a job then and was on benefits now she has a job and is currently on holiday.

I'm just saying I don't think it's fair that she's happy to pay probably thousands on her friends wedding but not a few hundred quid on her own brothers. She has just over 2 years to save if she really wants to.

Just shows you can choose your friends not your family.

Steph xx

Does it really matter what hotel she stays in? So long as she is at the wedding, I don't see how the hotel figures into it at all.

balletshoes

Stephb1986 wrote: »

If anything her circumstances have improved she didn't have a job then and was on benefits now she has a job and is currently on holiday.

I'm just saying I don't think it's fair that she's happy to pay probably thousands on her friends wedding but not a few hundred quid on her own brothers. She has just over 2 years to save if she really wants to.

Just shows you can choose your friends not your family.

Steph xx

she's maybe still paying off what she spent to go abroad for her friends wedding, and doesn't want to make the same mistake again.

balletshoes

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

You can indeed get married on a visitor's visa. There is a special catagory under the Immigration Rules:

Requirements for leave to enter as a visitor for marriage or to enter a civil partnership

56D. The requirements to be met by a person seeking leave to enter the United Kingdom as a visitor for marriage or civil partnership are that he:
(i) meets the requirements set out in paragraph 41 (i) - (ix) and (xi) - (xii); and
(ii) can show that he intends to give notice of marriage or civil partnership, or marry or form a civil partnership, in the United Kingdom within the period for which entry is sought; and
(iii) can produce satisfactory evidence, if required to do so, of the arrangements for giving notice of marriage or civil partnership, or for his wedding or civil partnership to take place, in the United Kingdom during the period for which entry is sought; and
(iv) holds a valid United Kingdom entry clearance for entry in this capacity.
Leave to enter as a visitor for marriage or civil partnership

56E. A person seeking leave to enter the United Kingdom as a visitor for marriage or civil partnership may be admitted for a period not exceeding 6 months, subject to a condition prohibiting employment, provided the Immigration Officer is satisfied that each of the requirements of paragraph 56D is met.


However, what you cannot do is "switch" in-country from a visitor's visa to a spouse visa.

thanks, I knew this visa existed, but as with all visit (ie non-settlement) visas, depending on the circumstances, this visa can be difficult to get. I believe its meant for non-EU citizens who want to marry in the UK, but not settle in the UK. The fiance or partner settlement (where the couple can show they've already lived together for at least 2 years abroad) used to be easier (but much more expensive) to get.
I was going through this 10 years ago, and I know the English language tests etc have come in since for visas, so things might have changed.

It was still a lot cheaper for us to get married abroad, rather than here in the UK. It was easier too, I only had to get my certificate of non-impediment in the UK before I travelled abroad, and the rest of the paperwork and arrangements etc were done in about 2 days.

claire16c

Person_one wrote: »

The bolded really irritates me I'm afraid, why do you think you get to decide what other people save for? Maybe she'd rather save for a new car, a new sofa, for a dream holiday with her own family, for a rainy day or for her kids uni funds.

Since when do we get a say on how other people spend their money?

Youd have to have a pretty bad relationship with a sibling to buy a new sofa over going to their wedding!! Thats awful.

I think 150pppn is a crazy cost and Id never pay that though. Id just stay somewhere cheaper.

pollypenny

We had the opposite happen. Sister planned a small wedding for April. We booked our holiday ( OH had no choice of time).

Wedding was changed to Summer, when we were away. She went bananas when we couldn't change! Of course, we could have lost the money we'd paid.