Cant afford to attend sisters wedding abroad.

Person_one

FattyBettyBoo wrote: »

I have a step sister on my mum's side of the family and a half sister on my Dad's and they have both announced they are getting married abroad next year. It would be hard to afford 1 never mind 2. And now both have promised my DD that she can be bridesmaid aarrggghhhhh!!

I understand that people want their big day to be special but brides can get very selfish and blinkered.

Its like they've forgotten attending other people's weddings, or for some reason think theirs will be so much more special just because its them.

Weddings can be lovely, but generally they're just an ok way to spend a Saturday, if a bit expensive. Its nice to see your friends and family marry the people they love but its not a life changing experience for anyone else and its not something I want to spend more than about £100 on thanks very much.

I'm in my late twenties, I go to about 5 weddings a year at the moment and probably will for the next few years. People need to remember they aren't the only ones getting married too!

savingssaver

it is not your fault that you are unable to afford to attend the wedding, she should undestand that you can not afford it, its a very serious amount of money, and if you cant get the money, theirs nothing you can do.

Moufflon5

fluffnutter wrote: »

Expecting your guests to fork out many hundreds or thousands of pounds for your wedding is the height of arrogance. When I married I didn't want my guests to have to spend a penny. Sure, if they wanted to buy a new frock or hat that was up to them but we asked for no presents, laid on transport between the church and the restaurant where we had our reception and then home again for everyone, plus an entirely free bar (£800 on champagne alone :eek:).

But they were my guests and I wanted to treat them. I had a wonderful evening surrounded by my loved ones. I wouldn't have enjoyed it one little bit if I thought everyone resented being there. I'm sorry but I don't understand this 'It's MY day, sod the rest of you' attitude that some brides (perhaps grooms too!) seem to have.

See I am avoiding this expense by treating those who fancy Vegas to a nice meal and champagne (sunstantially less people than it would be at home), followed by a 2 week holiday after Vegas spending the rest of the cost of the UK wedding on ourselves :rotfl:

Horses for courses innit :beer:

candygirl

claire16c wrote: »

I agree. And often that is a good thing that certain people cant come :rotfl:Its definitely a huge benefit of getting married abroad. Only the people who really want to be there will come. But you can invite everyone so solves that issue, that I see so many people having because great aunt such and such who they havent seen in 25 years wasnt invited.

I see your point hun, but we did want to go to OH's Sis wedding just couldn't afford to:D

neverdespairgirl

balletshoes wrote: »

thanks, I knew this visa existed, but as with all visit (ie non-settlement) visas, depending on the circumstances, this visa can be difficult to get. I believe its meant for non-EU citizens who want to marry in the UK, but not settle in the UK. The fiance or partner settlement (where the couple can show they've already lived together for at least 2 years abroad) used to be easier (but much more expensive) to get.
I was going through this 10 years ago, and I know the English language tests etc have come in since for visas, so things might have changed.

I've never got married anywhere - but I'm an immigration barrister, so I have a head-start on the rules (-:

claire16c

candygirl wrote: »

I see your point hun, but we did want to go to OH's Sis wedding just couldn't afford to:D

Oh yes there will likely to be some people who did want to be there but unfortunately cant.

What I mean is that anyone who doesnt want to go to your wedding full stop as in wherever it was- definitely wont be there!

claire16c

Person_one wrote: »

You could equally say you'd be a pretty bad sibling to expect your sister to shell out thousands of her hard earned cash to see you get married and get shirty when she wasn't thrilled at the prospect.

What if she had no sofa because the old one broke? Is it awful then?

My sister was really excited about my wedding and being a bridesmaid. She goes on holiday once or twice a year and its sometimes to the place I got married and she loves it. And if she had a broken sofa that wouldnt make any difference because I know I am more important to my sister than a piece of furniture.

And if she gets married, its 99% certain it will be abroad, and I will be there unless I was ill or something. If I had to sit on dining room chairs because my sofa broke I will do it!

Im pretty sure in years to come I know I would regret missing her wedding more than a !!!!!!! sofa :rotfl:

claire16c

Person_one wrote: »

Its like they've forgotten attending other people's weddings, or for some reason think theirs will be so much more special just because its them.

Weddings can be lovely, but generally they're just an ok way to spend a Saturday, if a bit expensive. Its nice to see your friends and family marry the people they love but its not a life changing experience for anyone else and its not something I want to spend more than about £100 on thanks very much.

See I agree with that because often weddings can be pretty boring. But every one who came to mine had a fantastic holiday, and are still talking to me about it now 6 months later, some of them are planning their 2nd trip back. Because it wasnt about just going to a wedding, it was having a holiday with a load of family and friends, jumping in the waves in the sea together, going out for meals, swimming in waterfalls, going up a volcano, and seeing whales jumping out of the sea including on the day itself. The wedding was just 1 day.


It would be different if people literally flew, watched the wedding and just left the next day!

MrsBryan_2

People will always argue over this subject, its just how you see it.

We got engaged Sept 2009 and set a date for May 2011 to get married in Greece, as we had our first holiday there in 1999, and it was very romantic and memorable for us. We told all of our family and friends and we never just EXPECTED people to come, we left it as an open invite.

In the end, we had 50 of our family and friends there as they all saved up and treated it as their annual holiday, staying a different hotels/B&B's around the resort to what they could afford. We met up on the beach, at night and all had a fantastic holiday together, which everyone is still talking about and want to do it again!
My best friend who was 3 months pregnant, and my other friend had a 5 month old baby, both came too and they had 2 big reasons why they maybe couldn't have come but they did! People will be there if they want to be.

I do sympathise with you OP, it is an expensive thing to do for the guests but your sister should really understand if you can't afford it.

Person_one

claire16c wrote: »

See I agree with that because often weddings can be pretty boring. But every one who came to mine had a fantastic holiday, and are still talking to me about it now 6 months later, some of them are planning their 2nd trip back. Because it wasnt about just going to a wedding, it was having a holiday with a load of family and friends, jumping in the waves in the sea together, going out for meals, swimming in waterfalls, going up a volcano, and seeing whales jumping out of the sea including on the day itself. The wedding was just 1 day.


It would be different if people literally flew, watched the wedding and just left the next day!

Well of course, everybody thinks their wedding is special and different.

The whole industry has got waaaay out of hand, the fact that you think sitting on dining chairs for months rather than spending your money on a '!!!!!!!' sofa in order to afford to go to one is remotely sane is pretty clear evidence of that.