Cant afford to attend sisters wedding abroad.

lostinrates

Person_one wrote: »

A lot of people have this kind of issue with weddings abroad but the couple themselves never find out because they put a happy face on and do everything they can not to 'ruin their special day'.

Its a really awkward position to put people in.

Going abroad used to mean eloping, as in just the two of you, tell everyone when you get back.

TBF to my in laws....they live in US...but neither are from there.

Person_one

lostinrates wrote: »

TBF to my in laws....they live in US...but neither are from there.

I do have a lot of sympathy for people with far flung family, there's often no easy answer there.

System

I think if people want a wedding abroad and expect/want other members of the family to attend it then they should be prepared to stump up the difference between what attending in the UK would cost and the cost of attending the wedding abroad.

candygirl

!!!!!! wrote: »

I think if people want a wedding abroad and expect/want other members of the family to attend it then they should be prepared to stump up the difference between what attending in the UK would cost and the cost of attending the wedding abroad.

But they wont do cos a lot of them get married abroad to save themselves moneyPaying for other peeps would defeat the object:(

System

candygirl wrote: »

But they wont do cos a lot of them get married abroad to save themselves moneyPaying for other peeps would defeat the object:(

They may be saving themselves money but they expect other people to spend more.

If they really wanted to save money then get married by registrar at one of the various licenced places in this country. it's probably a damn sight cheaper than going abroad and family aren't forced into forking out thousands (in some cases) to attend

dirtysexymonkey

Person_one wrote: »

A lot of people have this kind of issue with weddings abroad but the couple themselves never find out because they put a happy face on and do everything they can not to 'ruin their special day'.

Its a really awkward position to put people in.

Going abroad used to mean eloping, as in just the two of you, tell everyone when you get back.

and going on holiday used to mean a few days in blackpool but times change.

people move. if you dont want to go to someones wedding then dont go. its simple.

dirtysexymonkey

!!!!!! wrote: »

They may be saving themselves money but they expect other people to spend more.

If they really wanted to save money then get married by registrar at one of the various licenced places in this country. it's probably a damn sight cheaper than going abroad and family aren't forced into forking out thousands (in some cases) to attend

tbf the cheapest (for me) wedding ive ever been to was in italy and the most expensive in the uk so i dont think generalisations work.

for me if i want to go to a wedding, and more importantly the couple want me there then i will do my best to attend. ive a feeling that some posters would rather spend their time complaining and looking for any excuse not to attend a wedding as it reminds them of what theyll never have.

out of interest i wonder what some of the more dogmatic and ranty posters would suggest a transatlantic couple should do if they marry? hire two boats and strap them together in the middle of the atlantic? hope for a passing ice float to ferry the guests? skype the wedding?

depending on the country with more mobility, more and more people are moving to different areas so you can find one family from scotland and the other from devon - which is fair then? it seems some posters would rather everyone stayed where they were born so that their lives are easier when they get invited to the wedding.:rotfl: they seem to begrudge a day that isnt all about them.

claire16c

!!!!!! wrote: »

I think if people want a wedding abroad and expect/want other members of the family to attend it then they should be prepared to stump up the difference between what attending in the UK would cost and the cost of attending the wedding abroad.

Why would I pay for someones annual holiday?? Or in the case of many of my guests, their 2 or 3 holidays.

!!!!!! wrote: »

They may be saving themselves money but they expect other people to spend more.

If they really wanted to save money then get married by registrar at one of the various licenced places in this country. it's probably a damn sight cheaper than going abroad and family aren't forced into forking out thousands (in some cases) to attend

Not everyone gets married abroad to save money. I did it so I could get married outside in the sunshine next to the sea, with fantastic scenery and to have a more interesting wedding for my guests than the usual sit down meal and cheesy disco.

I had humpback whales breaching in the sea whilst we were signing our vows which the guests had great fun watching. I dont think I could have put that entertainment on in the UK..

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

tbf the cheapest (for me) wedding ive ever been to was in italy and the most expensive in the uk so i dont think generalisations work.

for me if i want to go to a wedding, and more importantly the couple want me there then i will do my best to attend. ive a feeling that some posters would rather spend their time complaining and looking for any excuse not to attend a wedding as it reminds them of what theyll never have.

out of interest i wonder what some of the more dogmatic and ranty posters would suggest a transatlantic couple should do if they marry? hire two boats and strap them together in the middle of the atlantic? hope for a passing ice float to ferry the guests? skype the wedding?

depending on the country with more mobility, more and more people are moving to different areas so you can find one family from scotland and the other from devon - which is fair then? it seems some posters would rather everyone stayed where they were born so that their lives are easier when they get invited to the wedding.:rotfl: they seem to begrudge a day that isnt all about them.

I agree. Some people on this board need to learn how have fun.

Ive seen so many posts on here with grumpy people.

If someone gets married abroad - theyre selfish.

If someone gets married here - well wo betide anyone who doesnt invite their entire family, (plus step/exs/childrens and dont forget to provide babysitters for all children attending and not attending the wedding). Dont expect a present, and you should probably put on all transport and pay hotel costs too.

On the other hand some people on this board seem to hate being invited to weddings so make sure you dont invite them. But theyll still be offended if you dont of course..

Seems like the bride and grooms cant win really!

claire16c

Person_one wrote: »

Well of course, everybody thinks their wedding is special and different.

The whole industry has got waaaay out of hand, the fact that you think sitting on dining chairs for months rather than spending your money on a '!!!!!!!' sofa in order to afford to go to one is remotely sane is pretty clear evidence of that.

Because clearly I would never need to although it wouldnt be the end of the world if I had to. Id put it on a credit card if I had to. But I hope Im never in a position where buying a new sofa would mean I couldnt go on a holiday.

My point is that nothing would stop me from going to my sisters wedding and I would rather spend time with my family on an important day than buy something superficial like a new plasma telly or whatever.

If I really was that skint my parents would pay for me to go anyway, theyd never let me miss seeing her get married.

And yes my wedding was pretty different.

claire16c

Person_one wrote: »

Why does it not depend on how much my brother thinks of me too? I have a very good relationship with my brother, I would never dream of insisting or even expecting that he spend a large sum of money on me, for whatever reason, I'm 100% sure he wouldn't expect/demand it of me either.

Hes not spending the money ON you though. Hes spending it on a holiday, where your wedding happens to be on 1 day. Hes not literally handing you a cheque.