Cant afford to attend sisters wedding abroad.

Stephb1986_2

Person_one wrote: »

Well of course, everybody thinks their wedding is special and different.

The whole industry has got waaaay out of hand, the fact that you think sitting on dining chairs for months rather than spending your money on a '!!!!!!!' sofa in order to afford to go to one is remotely sane is pretty clear evidence of that.

I suppose it depends on how much you think of your brother/sister really.

I'm not saying she has to spend that sort of money on staying at the hotel but her 2 daughters were going to be bridesmaids and she had no problem in going to her friends wedding in the Dominican Republic you would think she would want to go to her own brothers wedding but is refusing to go because of the hotel when there are plenty of local b&b's in the area.

Steph xx

Person_one

Stephb1986 wrote: »

I suppose it depends on how much you think of your brother/sister really.

Why does it not depend on how much my brother thinks of me too? I have a very good relationship with my brother, I would never dream of insisting or even expecting that he spend a large sum of money on me, for whatever reason, I'm 100% sure he wouldn't expect/demand it of me either.

lostinrates

My dh loves his sister very much, and we know she's planning to get married...she ''thinks'' next year, and very likely in US. Because of my health problems I doubt very much I'd cope very well with the journey...it would be easier but prohibitive if not flying cattle class and having more time there to recouperate from journey before the wedding....but time is money. We are fully extended ATM with our lives ...time and finance, and as the notice period gets shorter and shorter. We have considered the option that only dh goes...which might still happen, but he's not very happy with that , and neither are my in laws...to their credit as we have had the normal in law ''tensions'' they very much want me to go and be part of the event.

Our huge pressure is that we just really can't afford it in comfort, but do not want to cause any problems or tension. ATM we are still considering the DH only option as the best compromise, but it will still be difficult.

candygirl

MrsBryan wrote: »

People will always argue over this subject, its just how you see it.

We got engaged Sept 2009 and set a date for May 2011 to get married in Greece, as we had our first holiday there in 1999, and it was very romantic and memorable for us. We told all of our family and friends and we never just EXPECTED people to come, we left it as an open invite.

In the end, we had 50 of our family and friends there as they all saved up and treated it as their annual holiday, staying a different hotels/B&B's around the resort to what they could afford. We met up on the beach, at night and all had a fantastic holiday together, which everyone is still talking about and want to do it again!
My best friend who was 3 months pregnant, and my other friend had a 5 month old baby, both came too and they had 2 big reasons why they maybe couldn't have come but they did! People will be there if they want to be.

I do sympathise with you OP, it is an expensive thing to do for the guests but your sister should really understand if you can't afford it.

The two things aren't mutually exclusive.We wanted to go and couldn't afford it:(:(

MrsBryan_2

Fair point candygirl.
We had close family that really wanted to come but just couldnt afford it......so we saw them when we came back, and celebrated with them then! We just wanted to get married the way we'd always dreamed, and we really were grateful that so many people came with us, but didn't think anything less of the people who couldn't make it I think its what the people are like who are getting married.......they shouldn't make you feel bad if you can't afford it, close relative or not. x

candygirl

MrsBryan wrote: »

Fair point candygirl.
We had close family that really wanted to come but just couldnt afford it......so we saw them when we came back, and celebrated with them then! We just wanted to get married the way we'd always dreamed, and we really were grateful that so many people came with us, but didn't think anything less of the people who couldn't make it I think its what the people are like who are getting married.......they shouldn't make you feel bad if you can't afford it, close relative or not. x

Exactly!! epecially as we only had 4 months notice:eek::eek:

Person_one

lostinrates wrote: »

Our huge pressure is that we just really can't afford it in comfort, but do not want to cause any problems or tension. ATM we are still considering the DH only option as the best compromise, but it will still be difficult.

A lot of people have this kind of issue with weddings abroad but the couple themselves never find out because they put a happy face on and do everything they can not to 'ruin their special day'.

Its a really awkward position to put people in.

Going abroad used to mean eloping, as in just the two of you, tell everyone when you get back.

MrsBryan_2

4 months notice is a bit out of order......I would NEVER have done that to my family and friends and would hate to have it done to me!
Out of interest, how many people went? x

Stephb1986_2

4 months notice is out of order totally I wouldn't be chuffed either, I've already booked a holiday for christmas anyone who's getting married then can sod off lol

Steph xx

candygirl

MrsBryan wrote: »

4 months notice is a bit out of order......I would NEVER have done that to my family and friends and would hate to have it done to me!
Out of interest, how many people went? x

Quite a lot weirdly enough:eek::eek: