Elderley Dad - wont spend money

[Deleted User]

tescobabe69 wrote: »

He sounds like me !
If I win the lottery tonight I'll still be tight, people of his age lived with f all for periods, wasting money is just not their bag.
I'm a lot younger than him, I detest buying "stuff" that I percieve as a waste, I am not wealthy but I get by OK, I intend it to stay that way.
Just let the old scrote live as he likes.

Thats just it but theres buying stuff as a waste and theres basic necessities....

To be honest, its getting so bad that if his toilet broke I could see him not bothering to get it replaced and peeing in the sink or using the neighbours. Hes that bad.

His house is filthy and fair enough he cant clean it. Because of his money, social have said he'd have to pay £15 a week to get someone in to do it. His answer, I'm not paying someone, the house will have to be dirty!

[Deleted User]

Welshwoofs wrote: »

My Grandmother is 92 and has had dementia following a massive brain hemorrhage. My Mother has Power of Attorney.

She doesn't understand the consequences of her actions and she thinks she's poor (she isn't...she has around half a million in a savings account) and cannot afford help. If she DIDN'T have help with cleaning and washing she would be evicted from the assisted housing apartment she is in (and we've been warned of that by the managers).

So thanks, but we're fully aware of what we're doing and you really don't need to worry that some nasty old relatives are pulling the wool over some poor old person's eyes

That must be tough for you. I guess in these cicumstances you've gota to do this.

Even though my Dad isnt this bad, I can see it getting this way unfortunately.

[Deleted User]

alex21 wrote: »

Just a thought. Is it possible that if he had a washing machine he would see less of whoever was doing the laundry for him. It may just be a way of maintaining communication for him and which he is unwillling or unable to verbalise. Perhaps he is lonelier than he wants to admit to. I may be wrong but please consider the possibility that it's about more than money or an unwillingness to do a chore which he may perceive as a female one:).

No its not that. Hes got loads of friends etc....

Its definitely doesnt want to spend money and seems to have a problem with doing washing.

paddyz

Buy him one for his christmas, perfect timing really and by showing him you care by doing this he will start to think you do have his best interest at heart.

[Deleted User]

GavB79 wrote: »

Er, because he expects his kid to drive 40 miles to do it for him?? The old man might very well be happy with the arrangement, I don't think that's the point!

I'd be happy for other people to do my cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping etc., but it ain't gonna happen!

Yep, rather than spend any money. He just doesnt seem to realise that things cost money.

He got his poor sister to do his washing for years and years. She didnt drive and used to bring it back to him on the bus - like I said shes 10 years older than him. Now she cant do it.

I always thought it was unfair on him to expect her to do this (although it was partly her fault because she said it was OK) for years and years rather than get off his butt and sort something out. At Xmas, he used to be so proud of telling me how he'd splashed out and bought his sister a box of chocolates for doing his washing all year (i.e. spent about a fiver!).

And yes hes the sort who goes to a restaurant with friends and leaves a tip of a pound each (regardless of cost of meal) and then tells me waitress was really pleased with the tip we left her (yeah right!)

[Deleted User]

paddyz wrote: »

Buy him one for his christmas, perfect timing really and by showing him you care by doing this he will start to think you do have his best interest at heart.

He'd go nuts!!!!

If I spend over £25 on present for him he tells I've got more money than sense (and hes really tactless with it!).

[Deleted User]

Thinking about something else he says...

To be honest, I just think hes so small minded hes got a list in his head of things that are a waste of money.

My brother has got kids from a previous relationship. Having problems with access etc so I said to my dad he'd probably have to get solicitor involved if all else failed.

My Dads face was a picture. He said he cant do that they cost money! (Ummm, hello, unfortunately, yes they do but so do many things in life). In the end I did some research (brothers not the sharpest tool in the shed) and found you can get things going with the court for £200 without the need for solicitors.

Told my Dad - his attitude was £200? How much???? Your brother doesnt want to waste his money on that! (Yes if he wants to see his kids he does). BTW - brother is a welder and earns up to £1000 a week so hes not too skint!

Same when I said he should get a cleaner. No way!!!!

It seems there are thing in my Dads head that you shouldnt pay for no matter what or how important regardless of how much money you've got :-(

I think he'd be the same if he had 10 million pound in the bank....

whitewing

Could you tell him that if he buys a washing machine you (or your missus) will do his washing for him when you visit. That would make the actual doing the washing less of an issue perhaps.

sophieschoice

[quote=[Deleted User];48091449]He'd go nuts!!!!

If I spend over £25 on present for him he tells I've got more money than sense (and hes really tactless with it!).[/QUOTE]

That was my Dad to a T!
Let him be and stop fretting. It's more than likely he just wants you and your brother to be provided for when he's gone. Old folk worry about stuff like that.

Owain_Moneysaver

[quote=[Deleted User];48091333]No its not that. Hes got loads of friends etc....

[/QUOTE]

He won't have if he starts to pong.