Elderley Dad - wont spend money

claire16c

margaretclare wrote: »

Yesterday I talked to a man I know - he and his wife have been friends of mine since 1960. They've allowed their passports to lapse because they've 'been everywhere, seen everything' and they've sold their camper-van because they've been 'all over the UK and nothing else to see'. I cannot understand this outlook either.

Wow. why bother to get out of bed in the morning!

[Deleted User]

Brighton_belle wrote: »

OP, can't add any more suggestions, to this seemingly impossible situation that is understandibly utterly infuriating, frustrating and a little miserable making.
But I did want to say I think you are a good son.

Infuriating to say the least. Im still annoyed with his attitude from last weekend!!!!

[Deleted User]

Maz wrote: »

What you could do,(if you can afford it) is agree to do the washing. Take it home, then arrange for a laundry to pick it up from yours and return it to you all sorted. Will cost you about £6 per load or thereabouts. Then, take it back to Dad on your next visit.

He'll think your wife is doing it, you're still the grateful son and he's none the wiser.

Might have to. But then it doesnt really sort the situation, does it?

Maz

[quote=[Deleted User];48247429]Might have to. But then it doesnt really sort the situation, does it?[/QUOTE]

Well it does really. Your Dad is so entrenched in his sexist and illogical way of thinking, that nothing on earth is going to change it. That's obvious.

Take the path of least resistance; it shuts him up and you can stop fretting about it. His needs are being looked after so you can stop worrying about that, your wife's off the hook, no more emotional blackmail or whining about 'not paying for it' etc.

I know it's infuriating and he might get some sort of perverse pleasure thinking that you've caved in, just do it and don't tell him!

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

All I can think of in reading this about him is thank %&$* that attitudes towards single women's rights over their own bodies changed and free, no questions asked contraception was made available to women so that they aren't caught by unplanned pregnancy and forced into miserable marriages with men that wouldn't lift a finger to help themselves in terms of buying a permanent home, leave the village of their birth or even put a pair of flipping socks in a washing machine anymore.



He likes being dirty. Let him.

margaretclare

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

All I can think of in reading this about him is thank %&$* that attitudes towards single women's rights over their own bodies changed and free, no questions asked contraception was made available to women so that they aren't caught by unplanned pregnancy and forced into miserable marriages with men that wouldn't lift a finger to help themselves in terms of buying a permanent home, leave the village of their birth or even put a pair of flipping socks in a washing machine anymore.

Oh heavens, yes. The year I married my first husband - 1957 - I knew of a dozen other girls getting married around the same time. Of those dozen, only 3 of us were not pregnant at the altar. I was one of the 3.

Actually contraception has been around for a very long time. Guys used to be issued with condoms if they were in the forces, they could get any number of them free, the idea of that was to prevent venereal disease. The majority of men spent some time in the forces in the years of national service.

Of course, it depended on the guy being willing to use a condom. Maybe they'd be less willing to use it with a girl-friend than they would if they were - ahem - paying for the service.

When I walked out on my first marriage within weeks - couldn't stand living with his parents (that was common then) - it was absolutely unheard of.

margaretclare

claire16c wrote: »

Wow. why bother to get out of bed in the morning!

They said: they love where they live, it's in a beautiful place (near Fountains Abbey/Studley deer park), they go for 5-mile walks, they have a dog who's getting a bit old and they don't want to put him in kennels while they go off on holiday, and they're very involved with their grandchildren. But they often say to me: 'you're always gadding off somewhere' (went to France for the day on Tuesday) and my response is 'Why ever not? Life is for living! I intend to live my life to the full for as long as I possibly can.'

The OP's Dad's attitude about not buying new things. Well, I am being forced to buy new clothes because of weight loss. I still don't want cheap rubbish made in some Far East sweat-shop, though. I still like quality.

neverdespairgirl

margaretclare wrote: »

Oh heavens, yes. The year I married my first husband - 1957 - I knew of a dozen other girls getting married around the same time. Of those dozen, only 3 of us were not pregnant at the altar. I was one of the 3.

My grandparents intended to marry in December 1939. In August of that year, it became clear that war was in the offing, and my Grandad was in the Navy Reserves. So he got a special licence and they married on 2nd September 1939.

My Granny was still indignant into her old age about the number of old biddies who sniffed about "having to get married" and it being an "indecent rush". She reckoned that a World War was a pretty obvious justification.

My uncle wasn't born until 3 years later, anyway.