Elderley Dad - wont spend money

Valli

Is there a laundrette nearby? Reason I am asking is there's one near me and they do service washes. They will also dry and iron.

GavB79

bobajob_1966 wrote: »

Is he happy in his current situation? If so, why change it?

Er, because he expects his kid to drive 40 miles to do it for him?? The old man might very well be happy with the arrangement, I don't think that's the point!

I'd be happy for other people to do my cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping etc., but it ain't gonna happen!

Welshwoofs

My Grandmother is exactly like this. How we get round it is by a small lie....telling her that the Council now offer these services to old people. We have access to her bank account so simply set up a DD for the service and she doesn't notice it's gone. If she thought she was paying, she'd refuse.

MoreOn

Many could learn something from them.

[Deleted User]

sophieschoice wrote: »

PLEASE don't do this.
Is there a possibility he would agree to having his washing collected by a local laundry company?

Yeh. But he wont pay for it.

determined_new_ms

Welshwoofs wrote: »

My Grandmother is exactly like this. How we get round it is by a small lie....telling her that the Council now offer these services to old people. We have access to her bank account so simply set up a DD for the service and she doesn't notice it's gone. If she thought she was paying, she'd refuse.

forgive me for saying I don't think this is right, unless someone has been declared as not having the capacity to make this decision then this isn't legally right. As long as someone understands the consequences of their actions they have the right to choose3 what they want to do even if this isn't what's best for them

[Deleted User]

Thats just the thing - he isnt happy.... Washing is a hassle for him.

But he just wont spend money to sort the problem out.

Yes, his family were very poor when he was younger but I just dont understand why he wont pay out to make himself more comfortable....

I really dont understand this, I've-not-got-long-left-im-not-wasting-money thing. You cant take it with you !!!

To be honest, he is losing touch with reality a little with regards to the cost of things.

He says I'm mad to run a car if it costs £25 a month for insurance, and it costs £60 to fill up! (Umm reality check Dad - how do I get to work exactly then)

To be honest, the subject of money came up the other day and he mentioned someones grandson who was getting £150 a week and he thought that really was a lot to earn for a weeks work.

But his money is just mounting up and mounting up. I keep telling him this is not wise but he just wont spend money!

Welshwoofs

determined_new_ms wrote: »

forgive me for saying I don't think this is right, unless someone has been declared as not having the capacity to make this decision then this isn't legally right. As long as someone understands the consequences of their actions they have the right to choose3 what they want to do even if this isn't what's best for them

My Grandmother is 92 and has had dementia following a massive brain hemorrhage. My Mother has Power of Attorney.

She doesn't understand the consequences of her actions and she thinks she's poor (she isn't...she has around half a million in a savings account) and cannot afford help. If she DIDN'T have help with cleaning and washing she would be evicted from the assisted housing apartment she is in (and we've been warned of that by the managers).

So thanks, but we're fully aware of what we're doing and you really don't need to worry that some nasty old relatives are pulling the wool over some poor old person's eyes

alex21

Just a thought. Is it possible that if he had a washing machine he would see less of whoever was doing the laundry for him. It may just be a way of maintaining communication for him and which he is unwillling or unable to verbalise. Perhaps he is lonelier than he wants to admit to. I may be wrong but please consider the possibility that it's about more than money or an unwillingness to do a chore which he may perceive as a female one:).

determined_new_ms

Welshwoofs wrote: »

My Grandmother is 92 and has had dementia following a massive brain hemorrhage. My Mother has Power of Attorney.

She doesn't understand the consequences of her actions and she thinks she's poor (she isn't...she has around half a million in a savings account) and cannot afford help. If she DIDN'T have help with cleaning and washing she would be evicted from the assisted housing apartment she is in (and we've been warned of that by the managers).

So thanks, but we're fully aware of what we're doing and you really don't need to worry that some nasty old relatives are pulling the wool over some poor old person's eyes

I'm sorry to hear that about ur GM, that must be really hard for you & ur family.

I wasn't thinking that. I work with ppl with serious & enduring mental health problems and its really hard to watch ppl not making good decisions for themselves but unless they don't have capacity you can't step in. In ur GM's case, ur mum makes her decisions in her best interests