Elderley Dad - wont spend money

Ames

How about getting a washing machine off freegle? Explain to him that it was going to be tipped, you were saving the owner the cost of getting rid properly, and so now he's got one. You can't get better than free!

claire16c

Or buy him one and tell him a friend gave it to you as they bought a new one or something.

blue_monkey_2

Great minds, I was going to suggest freegle too, put a wanted ad and then tell him you have been given it.

[Deleted User]

Like I said, I think its not just the money (although that is one thing).

Hes also got this idea that he cant do washing and that some female has got to do it for him...

[Deleted User]

sophieschoice wrote: »

That was my Dad to a T!
Let him be and stop fretting. It's more than likely he just wants you and your brother to be provided for when he's gone. Old folk worry about stuff like that.

Yeh. But its going to get to the point where hes not looking after himself. The flat is getting to that point now because he refuses to spend any money on it.

*Robin*

OP, my Dad was similar to yours in his last years:
"There's no point in buying a new cooker at my time of life, that bit of curtain pole keeps the oven door shut perfectly well."
..Except it didn't, and the tea-towel he tended to hang over the grill door was a definite fire hazard.
So my brother enlisted the help of his BIL and they created a little fiction; BIL turned up one day with a new oven - unboxed. He told Dad the people next door to him were having a new kitchen fitted [true] and they'd bought this cooker, but it was too big for the gap in the brand new marble surfaces, so rather than have the marble changed they'd bought another cooker and given this one to BIL when he'd seen them about to put it in their skip [not quite true ].
BIL fitted it while Dad was still marvelling at anyone making such an expensive mistake - he was quite happy to accept a freebie, especially as it avoided throwing away a brand-new item! :rotfl:

dark_lady

[quote=[Deleted User];48091437]Yep, rather than spend any money. He just doesnt seem to realise that things cost money.

He got his poor sister to do his washing for years and years. She didnt drive and used to bring it back to him on the bus - like I said shes 10 years older than him. Now she cant do it.

I always thought it was unfair on him to expect her to do this (although it was partly her fault because she said it was OK) for years and years rather than get off his butt and sort something out. At Xmas, he used to be so proud of telling me how he'd splashed out and bought his sister a box of chocolates for doing his washing all year (i.e. spent about a fiver!).

And yes hes the sort who goes to a restaurant with friends and leaves a tip of a pound each (regardless of cost of meal) and then tells me waitress was really pleased with the tip we left her (yeah right!)[/QUOTE]

Hope you dont mind me asking (and you dont have to answer if you dont want) but has he always been like this or has it just crept up on him with age?

neverdespairgirl

[quote=[Deleted User];48090571]

I really dont understand this, I've-not-got-long-left-im-not-wasting-money thing. You cant take it with you !!!

[/QUOTE]

My OH's grandfather refused to buy new pyjamas, socks or pants from the age of 75, saying he wouldn't get enough use out of them to be worth the cost.

He died at the age of 98. His relatives had all been giving him clothes as birthday presents for years.....

dark_lady

OP if your dads sister was my mum i would be absolutely fuming. Does she have any kids (grown up obv) and if so what did they have to say about it.

Outer_Limits

My friends Father was exactly like yours OP - certain tasks are 'women's work' and he'd rather mess up his life than do them. He wouldn't spend any money either (understandable from childhood poverty) but all the money he scrimped and saved was swallowed up by a state nursing home in the end.

The ruses to install a washing machine sound good, but as 'women's work' do you believe he'd use it, even then?

Does he have any single male friends of a similar age? If they do their own washing, or pay to have it done, he might listen to them more than you.

I suppose you could provide the machine and do the wash while you visit - it would save having to return with it, and he might see doing it himself as more possible.