I don't like my mother!

happyhaddock_2

Thank you sales addict, my sister is still trying to come to terms with all that has happened to her. Even though she has suffered more than me it is her who craves mums love and affection, whereas I am not interested.
Your friend is right to cut people off who cause her nothing but grief, I am starting to toughen up myself now, but it's been a long time coming x

Molly41

salesaddict wrote: »

Molly,

I am so sorry for what you have suffered.
I think the Maya Angelou quote is perfect.

My beloved Mum used to say that even animals protect their young. What is it that goes wrong with Humans that don't?
No single answer to that, I know.

But don't you agree it is such a basic instinct to nurture your children?

Oh yes it is and I have protected my children fiercely - well they themselves say they are sheltered. I would not allow my DD any unsupervised contact with my father as my instincts screamed at me that it would be inappropriate. Im still very unhappy as I suspect that something may have happened when she was very young. However I have asked DD and she cannot remember so who knows and she is 19 now.

salesaddict

I wish I could do something for your sister to take that need away.
Your Mother will never be the Mum your sister needs.
In essentials, I don't think people ever change.
Maybe I'm wrong to say that. I did have a very strong Catholic upbringing. I have rejected a lot of it now. But I do wonder about Sinners, Repentance, Penance and Redemption. I suppose I was brought up with the belief that its within us all to change for the better.
But if I think about people I know who have been doing harm all their life.
They haven't changed. Anyway I have gone on long enough for one night.
I have subscribed to your thread. I wish you and your Sister all the best.

POPPYOSCAR

salesaddict wrote: »

I wish I could do something for your sister to take that need away.
Your Mother will never be the Mum your sister needs.
In essentials, I don't think people ever change.
Maybe I'm wrong to say that. I did have a very strong Catholic upbringing. I have rejected a lot of it now. But I do wonder about Sinners, Repentance, Penance and Redemption. I suppose I was brought up with the belief that its within us all to change for the better.
But if I think about people I know who have been doing harm all their life.
They haven't changed. Anyway I have gone on long enough for one night.
I have subscribed to your thread. I wish you and your Sister all the best.

So did I but the hypocrisy was astounding!

All to easy to 'repent' to 'God' without really meaning it.

salesaddict

Molly41 wrote: »

Oh yes it is and I have protected my children fiercely - well they themselves say they are sheltered. I would not allow my DD any unsupervised contact with my father as my instincts screamed at me that it would be inappropriate. Im still very unhappy as I suspect that something may have happened when she was very young. However I have asked DD and she cannot remember so who knows and she is 19 now.

Molly,

I think that is fantastic that you could be so open with your daughter.
It is so key to shine a light on all these things.
I really applaud you for acting on your natural protective instincts.
I wish you all the best in what you are still going through xx

salesaddict

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

So did I but the hypocrisy was astounding!

All to easy to 'repent' to 'God' without really meaning it.

You are so right in what you say Poppy.
I do think that once they have you before 8 years old they have you for life. I wish it wasn't so.
I'm not anti any true believers who live their faith.
My Mum was a wonderful example of a true Christian.

It's the hypocrisy I cannot bear.

happyhaddock_2

Molly how awful for you to be in that situation but all credit to you for protecting your daughter. My sister has also asked her daughter if anything happened, similar age, and she has said no. Unfortunately my sister also cannot shake the feeling that it happened when she was very young as she did used to stay with them as my sister was a single parent x

POPPYOSCAR

happyhaddock wrote: »

Molly how awful for you to be in that situation but all credit to you for protecting your daughter. My sister has also asked her daughter if anything happened, similar age, and she has said no. Unfortunately my sister also cannot shake the feeling that it happened when she was very young as she did used to stay with them as my sister was a single parent x

Hopefully, if anything did she was too young to ever recall in the future.

spirit

Molly41 wrote: »

Oh yes it is and I have protected my children fiercely - well they themselves say they are sheltered. I would not allow my DD any unsupervised contact with my father as my instincts screamed at me that it would be inappropriate. Im still very unhappy as I suspect that something may have happened when she was very young. However I have asked DD and she cannot remember so who knows and she is 19 now.

Me too, I rarely saw my mother (when i was still just about speaking to her) especially when i then had 2 children myself. I wanted everything for my children that I didn't have, and I don't mean materially. When I wrote it all down and sent to my NM last year, I put that i couldn't understand how a mother could turn a blind eye like she did. My elder sis (who was not abused by SF) says that NM told her that she didn't have a good role model herself since her father remarried and she didn't like or get on with her SM.

My argument with her was that I too could use that excuse but was smart enough to think that she was wrong. I figured that these weird goings on didn't happen in my friends' houses so wasn't natural and that my children would have a completely different upbringing.

I may have gone over the top with protecting mine, but they have turned out well. Incidentally they have always had the choice whether to keep in contact with their nanny but decided they didn't like her so wouldn't bother. they didn't used to hear much from her anyway.

meritaten

happy - I am so sorry for you and your sis! You know that from before - and your post comes as no surprise tbh. just love her and support her hun. you and your sis have a special relationship - difficult though it is. stick together and KNOW that you are special people! you are NOT like your parents - you are BETTER than them!