I don't like my mother!

happyhaddock_2

Well just as Meritaten says above, she has managed to 'get at' my sister!

Sis went to see her today as mum was 'ill' and wanted her ebay parcels taking. Unbeknown to mum we knew that one of the items was a VERY expensive item that my sis had bought her for her 60th birthday. Sis knew this and asked what was in the parcel to see if mum would admit to selling it, no, she completely lied and said it was something else. Even making up an elaborate story to re-inforce the lie.

Mum then got onto the subject of me and how annoyed she is that I could dare to speak to her in the manner that I did (please see my previous post), who did I think I was?. Mum wants nothing to do with me and doesn't want me to go round anymore. She then asked sis if she feels the same way, totally putting her on the spot, sis said that I was stressed and she knew how hard it was for me to deal with things. Mum said yea but she can come and see you but not me, she said sis used to call me for not going to see her! Think she's trying to get sis to side with her and say something against me. Anyway mum said she's not going to speak to me again, said she'll send xmas presents but doesnt want to see me any more.

The thing is this now leaves my poor sister to deal with her!. We're going to see sis's nurse this week to see what she recommends we do and I'm still going to speak to my niece. I'm just really angry that yet again mum has turned this around so she's the victim and I'm the big bad person. I told sis not to make excuses for me and if mum's got a problem with me she can speak to me about it, but I don't think sis is striong enough to do that.

Manny thanks for reading this, I totally understand if you've all had enough but it helps writing it down. Feeling really fed up now

POPPYOSCAR

happyhaddock wrote: »

Well just as Meritaten says above, she has managed to 'get at' my sister!

Sis went to see her today as mum was 'ill' and wanted her ebay parcels taking. Unbeknown to mum we knew that one of the items was a VERY expensive item that my sis had bought her for her 60th birthday. Sis knew this and asked what was in the parcel to see if mum would admit to selling it, no, she completely lied and said it was something else. Even making up an elaborate story to re-inforce the lie.

Mum then got onto the subject of me and how annoyed she is that I could dare to speak to her in the manner that I did (please see my previous post), who did I think I was?. Mum wants nothing to do with me and doesn't want me to go round anymore. She then asked sis if she feels the same way, totally putting her on the spot, sis said that I was stressed and she knew how hard it was for me to deal with things. Mum said yea but she can come and see you but not me, she said sis used to call me for not going to see her! Think she's trying to get sis to side with her and say something against me. Anyway mum said she's not going to speak to me again, said she'll send xmas presents but doesnt want to see me any more.

The thing is this now leaves my poor sister to deal with her!. We're going to see sis's nurse this week to see what she recommends we do and I'm still going to speak to my niece. I'm just really angry that yet again mum has turned this around so she's the victim and I'm the big bad person. I told sis not to make excuses for me and if mum's got a problem with me she can speak to me about it, but I don't think sis is striong enough to do that.

Manny thanks for reading this, I totally understand if you've all had enough but it helps writing it down. Feeling really fed up now

Don't you worry about that. Rant away - I hope it makes you feel better.

I know it is hard, but I hope you can get to a point in your life where
it ceases to get to you like this - I did.

happyhaddock_2

Thanks for understanding Poppy. I'm not even that angry for me, it's been lovely not having to dread the phone ringing, it's just that she makes my sister feel so guilty and stops her being true to herself. I think my sis would love to tell her where to go but has been programmed that much it is impossible for her.

Thanks again.

POPPYOSCAR

happyhaddock wrote: »

Thanks for understanding Poppy. I'm not even that angry for me, it's been lovely not having to dread the phone ringing, it's just that she makes my sister feel so guilty and stops her being true to herself. I think my sis would love to tell her where to go but has been programmed that much it is impossible for her.

Thanks again.

I know exactly where you are coming from.

I learned to accept the way my mother was but my sister found it very hard to not have that mother-daughter relationship that she saw her friends have.Although at times she stood up to her she could not switch off from her like I learned to do.

happyhaddock_2

God that is JUST what it's like. Sis is constantly trying to gain mum's approval and love. She's always been the one to spend a LOT of money on presents for her, just to get them thrown back in her face, or sold!. I'd just get her a jumper and it'd be the best thing ever!

POPPYOSCAR

Yes.

When my mother was in hospital my sister took her a bouquet of flowers(I took her nothing) she looked at her said what did you buy them for - waste of money.

happyhaddock_2

Oh poppy, how is your sister now, has she learned to deal with it any better.

POPPYOSCAR

Our mother passed away a few years ago now. I know it probably sounds horrible, and I did not wish her dead or anything like that, but our lives are much easier now she has gone.

I think though, my sister does really feel that she missed out on having the sort of mum that her friends had even to this day, as she does occasionally say things like I wish she had been like so and so's mum etc. Whereas I just think she wasn't and that's that.We do sometimes laugh together about the crazy things that she did.

happyhaddock_2

It sounds very similar to us. My sister can't bear the thought of another 10 years like this, we don't want anything bad to happen, but just know that we can't carry on as it is.

POPPYOSCAR

I know how you feel. I used to dread the phone ringing and would make some excuse to cut the conversation short if I could possibly do so.- I felt guilty at first but did learn not to after a while. Every call was usually some kind of problem that she wanted to involve me in.