Awkward situation - don't think I can say No.

moomoomama27

I think I'd feel the same OP. I think the suggestions of lending her the smaller stuff would be a nice gesture. I'm sure she'd understand if you explain things to her.

BigBlackcat

sexki11en wrote: »

I hope you don't need her help in future (although it seems you were happy enough to take it in the past!;))

SK x

I don't think that's fair at all.

Op's sister CHOSE willingly to buy nice gifts. I don't exactly see that as "help".

OP I can't believe that your sister didn't take the hint when you declined her offer to buy your baby things. To then ask to borrow it? What a bloody cheek!

Susie-E

Why not try and pick up so baby items from free cycle etc and hand these to your sisiter saying that you couldn't bear to part with your baby items so have got you these instead.

I'm sure your sister will take the hint without too much confrontation.

Lotus-eater

BigBlackcat wrote: »

I don't think that's fair at all.

Op's sister CHOSE willingly to buy nice gifts. I don't exactly see that as "help".

OP I can't believe that your sister didn't take the hint when you declined her offer to buy your baby things. To then ask to borrow it? What a bloody cheek!

Cheek? It's her sister? What a horrible world you live in, when siblings can't even ask to borrow something meaningful, like baby things from each other.

I think it's lovely she wants to borrow them, it makes it a bit more special, to get things like that from family.
I know we got a car seat and lovely toys from my cousin, it makes me think of them fondly every time I see the items, they don't want them back, as it was their last baby, but I know they would have lent them to me without any drama at all. Because we are close to them.

Nicki

bylromarha wrote: »

2) After DD was out of babydom, we knew we were done with babies. We lent a lot of our stuff to a different friend. She presumed that meant we'd given it to her as she knew we didn't want any more, so she wrote their surname in all the unisex clothing, on a couple of play mats and other bigger bits in permanent pen. When I asked for it all back to give to my sis in law, friend argued (yes argued!) with me that I'd given it to her and she wanted to keep it all for her second child. She made me feel really bad that I was claiming my stuff back!!!!! Finally got it back after asking for a third time and sis in law kept it all for my nephew.

Were you explicit that it was just a loan when you handed the stuff over? I was given a lot of stuff from a friend who has completed her family when I had my last child. I knew she had as she was sterilised after the last child. It would never occur to me that she would want any of it back to lend to someone else. My understanding was that it came to me to get it out of their house, and if not to me would have gone to a charity shop, and when I am finished with it, I would hand it on again to another new mum. Perhaps I should check . Though IME it is unusual for someone to want their baby equipment back when they have passed it on after finishing their families.

bylromarha

Nicki wrote: »

Were you explicit that it was just a loan when you handed the stuff over? I was given a lot of stuff from a friend who has completed her family when I had my last child. I knew she had as she was sterilised after the last child. It would never occur to me that she would want any of it back to lend to someone else. My understanding was that it came to me to get it out of their house, and if not to me would have gone to a charity shop, and when I am finished with it, I would hand it on again to another new mum. Perhaps I should check . Though IME it is unusual for someone to want their baby equipment back when they have passed it on after finishing their families.

Very explicit it was a loan. When we loaned it, I was in the early stages of opening a nearly new baby goods shop and told her she could have it until I needed it to stock the shop up. She was doing the branding for it, so she knew the shop was close to opening. I remember she replied something like I'd better make sure I take good care of it then if you want to sell it. So she knew it was a loan.

Having said that, we since found out how she's a bit of a magpie over a few things, so we've stopped loaning. Prime example is a tool we lent her was in her shed for over 2 years. She borrowed it, we knew she'd borrowed it, when we asked for it back, she insisted we already had had it back. We asked again, she insisted again she'd given it back. We asked her to look in her (6x4) shed. Not there. 1 year after giving it up for lost, her husband asked us if we wanted it back as he needed the space in his shed...