Awkward situation - don't think I can say No.

MarilynMonroe_2

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

I don't rate sentimentality as a positive trait. Emotion, yes. Sentiment, no.

why am I not surprised

neverdespairgirl

"Sentimentality" to me means naff Victorian pcitures of kittens etc. It's a replacement for emotion.

clw1

If it was me I would not lend out my LO's pram or carseat and there are some special teddies and clothes that I wouldn't lend. But I have happily lent friends things like maternity clothes, baby bath, moses basket, baby clothes for up to 1yr old, baby bouncer chair etc.

Maybe you can have a girls trip to visit a baby shop then have lunch while you discuss and make a list of what your sister needs for the baby. Then you can discuss what she wants to buy new and what you are happy to lend. Good luck trying to sort it out.

durham_girl

I have given a lot of stuff to my sister to lend, but nothing that was expensive. She wanted to buy a new pram etc to it's just toys, a crib and other bits and bobs. I have made it very clear to her that it's only a loan as I'm planning on having another baby in the near future and she is the type to throw perfectly useable things out!

Miss_Ladybird

My sister in law lent us her baby things but she did make it clear that if she and I had another baby at the same time, she would get to have them back. We borrowed: moses basket and bedding,baby bath, baby carrier, car seat and base, all of which went back in great condition.

My friend has baby 6 months behind me and have lent her our jumperoo, playnest, birthing ball, playmat etc.

I wouldn't lend or borrow pram/ pushchair though as there is a lot of wear and tear on that. I also won't borrow clothes in case of ruining them so I just buy 20p ones at carboot instead! Maybe lend her some of the things you only use for a short while then you will be sure to get them back soon. x

OrkneyStar

I would just tell her, as soon as possible, that you would rather not 'lend' your stuff to her (explain that it might cause unnecessary worry for both of you, her thinking she has to be ultra careful all the time, and you worrying that your things/memories might be damaged!). You could tell her how much you spent on it all, and with hindsight maybe wish you hadn't, you could help/advise her choose new things etc.
You are being perfectly normal- and as your sister, she should understand.

spaghetti_monster

Another one here that would definitely lend/give baby stuff. We have been so lucky to have been lent or given stuff, big expensive stuff like cot, pram etc and less expensive stuff like clothes. There have still been things we had to buy, and of course clothes get grown out of so quickly.
LO is only 8 months old and there's a shocking amount of stuff (mostly clothes) already stored away. I'll have no problem lending/giving 99.9% of it away. I would keep the special hand-knitted things in the family - but then I think that when there are more babies my Mum and Gran's knitting needles will be busy again!

But then I am someone who doesn't like shopping that much, feel bogged down by having too much stuff. Hate the buy-buy-buy mentality. I can understand keeping one or two treasured things for sentimental value, but for me carrier bags and boxes full of stuff kind of misses the point of "sentimental value".

heretolearn_2

Tell her you are trying to conceive so you don't want to lend her something only to have to take it back off her after a few months, maybe,. she isn't going to know if you really are trying or not.

Gigglepig

When I read the OP's post I thought it sounded a bit like she disliked the idea that the sister didn't need to struggle for the things the way she did, and perhaps that there was a little bit of resentment regarding the different financial situations?

Just a completely different thought: perhaps the sister would love to borrow the things because they were yours OP? She may look up to you more than you know.

Personally I'd love to borrow second hand items from a family member rather than new stuff from a shop - it is lovely with things that have been in the family.

Mrs_Optimist

Lend the smaller stuff - like steriliser, clothes etc but keep the expensive things like cot, car seat, pram which will be expensive to replace should you have another baby in the future and your sister does not take care of them as you would like. We had a lot of second hand things given to us when I was pregnant with our first but we insisted on bying a new mattress for the second hand cot, a new pram and a new car seat. We were given loads of clothes as presents. I finished my family after number 2 and gave everyhing I had to my brother and his (now) wife when they were expecting my nephew. I was pleased to be able to help them out and prolong the family link (I loved seeing my nephews (they have had another one since) in clothes that DS had worn when he was little). I kept a few things back as a keep sake but everything else went.

Of course you should also bear in mind though - what happens if your sister falls pregnant again ? Will she expect to keep those things? LIke I say, keep the bigger stuff but the smaller inexpensive things, consider lending out to your niece or nephew.