Awkward situation - don't think I can say No.

choccybikkie_2

I would feel the same! I actually think that seeing as you told your sis that you want to keep hold of the baby things for a future baby that she has been really quite cheeky to ask to borrow it all! Kitting babies out can be expensive and most importantly for me would be the fact that I would,ve carefully selected all the items i bought and sentimentally would find it hard to lend them out if i planned to use them again.
Don't get me wrong I have given loads and loads of baby/kids things away but it has been in MY own time when i'm ready to be parted from them lol.
I have 4 children and i found that i bought all new things for dd1 which i was able to re-use for ds1. But when dd2 arrived most things had to be bought new as the wear and tear from 2 previous kids left me feeling everything was a bit 'tatty'. We then thought we'd finished having babies so sold/gave away all baby things until i fell pg with dd3 and had to buy it all again.
I would be inclined to try a bit of reverse psychology, lend her the items that you're not too concerned about being used by someone else and when it comes to the sentimental stuff just say " Oh but the ________ has been well used by (baby angel) surely you'd like to get a new one of those?"

flowertotmum

O no i don't think your being possesive at all...they might be only clothes but they mean so much to you..i wouldn't and haven't ever leant baby clothes or bits and bobs..i even had one mum ask to borrow my maternity clothes..i mean come on..i said no sorry..i might need them in future..they are safely tucked up with all my baby clothes,blankets etc..she had a right go at me...
you do what you want hun..they are expensive and the sentimental value is priceless...
take care
ftm

Caroline73_2

Personally I am not a hoarder and don't understand why people keep things for sentimental reasons. The issue really isn't about what the items are but about self confidence. I don't have a problem with saying no either. Is it really that difficult to say no to your own sister?!

aloise

Can understand your reluctance, but is it worth the hassel of maybe falling out with your sister,or at least not being as close? They are only possessions after all and when she has a baby presumably you will benefit when she buys baby clothes and passes them down. Just reiterate that you will need them back in good condition as you want another child. Families are to important to let this bother you so much, and you did say she is good to your little one.

Luciferswench

You need to learn you can say No! Just lend her the very basics such as a baby bath a few clothes that hold little sentimental value and just say you dont want to lend the pram/cot/moses basket etc as all safety reports say these items should be purchased new for each baby especially mattresses.

mountainofdebt

I'm just wondering if the real reason behind your reluctance to lend your sister the equipment is more to do with the feeling of why should you have to struggle to get the equipment in the first place and then lend it to your sister after which it may be turned in not so good a condition than any sentimental attachment to the equipment itself.

sexki11en

I hope you don't need her help in future (although it seems you were happy enough to take it in the past!;))

SK x

FatVonD

I still have a bin liner full of my son's babygrows in the loft and he's 14, no way would I EVER have let anyone else have his stuff.

Tell her you stored it all in your shed and when you went get it out you found everything had gone damp and mouldy

Spendless

Gigglepig wrote: »

Personally I'd love to borrow second hand items from a family member rather than new stuff from a shop - it is lovely with things that have been in the family.

Definately. In my DH's family one of his female cousins (now in her 30s) was bought a pinafore when she started school. Then her younger sister wore it, followed by another cousin, then another (this time going out to canada). DH's neice was too tall for it to fit, so it remained in canada and by doing so unfortunately missed the original owner's daughter, but the next female in the family is my daughter and MIL fetched it back from abroad and DD wore it to school and then I passed it on to the 2nd wearer for her daughter. That's where the current female line stops, so it will be saved for the day another girl comes along.

We have photos of each different child wearing the same dress. When my DD was wearing it, another mum at the school asked where it had come from because she admired the 'old-fashioned' style of it. It would have been bought early 80s. It's just a Mothercare one. And come the day it's unwearable then so be it. It has fetched far more joy to different people than it would have if it had be stuck up in a loft for decades. We would still have our memories and pics.

bylromarha

As someone who loaned, and was happy to loan:

1) My travel system had to be asked back for early as DD came to play quicker than we'd planned. Friend didn't appreciate having to buy a stage 1 car seat for 1 month and tried to persuade me it was better I left the travel system with her for the first month of DDs life - couldn't do it, we needed it back!

Also, a wheel fell off the travel systems pram after DD was in it for 2 months. Knowing how much walking friend did with the pram, I couldn't help but think that if I'd not lent it I could have had full use of it for all the time I wanted to use it rather than have a botch repair while I coped with it for 2 more months before replacing.

2) After DD was out of babydom, we knew we were done with babies. We lent a lot of our stuff to a different friend. She presumed that meant we'd given it to her as she knew we didn't want any more, so she wrote their surname in all the unisex clothing, on a couple of play mats and other bigger bits in permanent pen. When I asked for it all back to give to my sis in law, friend argued (yes argued!) with me that I'd given it to her and she wanted to keep it all for her second child. She made me feel really bad that I was claiming my stuff back!!!!! Finally got it back after asking for a third time and sis in law kept it all for my nephew.

Sadly has made me wary about loaning things to people...

OP - if it were me, I'd do it as it's my sister,

If you want to, put some clear ground rules in place that it is your stuff and when you want it back, you need it back. And talk about what would happen should the pram break after 1 month of her returning it to you.

If you don't want to, be careful the way you deal with it as you don't want a few babygros to get in the way of your family relationship.

All the best.